Dance The Night Away: Mister Electric Boo

This is a different kind of story. It's more Paul's story than mine. I'm with him doing the paranormal investigation, and I suppose parenting. But I wouldn't be there if it weren't for him, Paul and his dance class, supporting his little friends. 

"Can we go look for ghosts?"
I looked up at the kids. Paul and some of his little dance friends were standing there, during the fundraising Bingo game on the third floor of the Piper Museum. Lilly, Kendra, Tall Addie, Short Addie, Georgie, all wanting me to go and distract them.

Well, hell. It's better than Bingo.

"Let me bring my stuff," I said. I grabbed my small travel bag from my backpack and hung it over my shoulder. "Come on, let's go check out the west side of the building."
We walked across the hall and into the big meeting room. Lilly said,"What if we get caught in here?"

"Just play innocent. They can't be too uptight about it; they didn't even lock the door. Who wants to hold the EMF detector?"

Several hands went up. I handed it to Short Addie and said,"Everyone take turns."

They began taking readings with the detector. Kendra said,"Hey! There's candy on this desk over here!"

"Can we steal some?" asked Tall Addie.

"I should be a good example, but there's peanut butter cups. One each."

We ate someone else's candy. I said,"Wait until the competitions, guys. We're gonna be in Scranton, Lancaster, and Utica, and I've already got some of the good ghost stories researched out. In fact, the theater we'll be in up in Utica is said to be haunted."

"Can we help investigate?" asked Lilly.

"Of course you can," I said. "I'll bring extra equipment."

I watched the numbers tick down on my GPS, and said,"Coming up on the overpass, kiddo. That's the one just outside of Scranton where the Suscon Screamer is said to haunt. Oh, and there are Squonk sightings, too, so keep your eyes open."

"Bet that," said Paul, in the back of the jeep.

I'd bought the GPS from Chris, and programmed in the coordinates for the overpass. As we approached, I got out my camera and turned on the EMF detector. It showed nothing as we passed under the overpass, and I didn't see anything worth noting.

Michelle glanced over from the driver's seat. "How's it going?"

"Well, that was anticlimactic."

"That didn't look too hard."

"That's what she said. Of course, the Suscon Screamer may just be an urban legend anyway. There's still stuff to check out in Scranton. There's a UFO sighting near there, a UFO that was said to have crashed in Carbondale back in 1974. It landed in a pond, and people said they saw a green light for days afterward."

"How much longer until Scranton?" asked Paul.

"About ten minutes or so. We're almost there now, buddy. Did you know that Scranton had the first electric cable cars? That's why it's called the Electric City."
"Nope, didn't know that," said Paul, texting someone.

"So you guys will be dancing Mister Electric Blue in the Electric City."

"Cool. Can we stop at Dave's Hot Chicken?"

"Are you really a paranormal investigator?" asked the guy at the hotel desk.

I'd forgotten I was wearing the shirt that said that. "Funny you should ask. I really am."

"What's the scariest thing you've ever encountered?"

"That'd be my sister-in-law. You aware of any interesting ghost stories or old legends around here?"

He thought it over. "Not really. My stepsister thinks her dad is still haunting her."

I usually ask around a little, and try to talk to some locals. Sometimes it pays off, and sometimes it doesn't. This was looking like it was going to be that second one.

"Bigfoot, UFO sightings?"

"No, but we have a woman who works breakfast in the morning. She might know something."
"Okay, thanks." I carried the luggage up to the room.

Paul was practicing one of the dance routines in the bedroom. I said,"You make sure you get sleep tonight, little man. You're not on until Sunday, but we can go tomorrow and you can support your friends, if you like."

"Yeah," he said. "I want to."

I was standing at the breakfast counter, getting some more coffee. The woman working asked me,"Are you really a paranormal investigator?"

I was still wearing the same shirt from the night before. I said,"I am. Are you familiar with any interesting haunted places around here?"

"No, not really," she said. "I'm a spiritualist, but I don't know of anything too close."

Some days it be like that. I said,"Do you know of the Carbondale sighting? A UFO crashed into a pond in 1974?"

"No, I've never heard of that one. I'd believe it, though."

I walked outside and strolled around the hotel property. I walked past the Triple-A office next door, making a note to come back when it was open and check for maps. I walked down the hill to the Sam's Club parking lot, and checked around with the EMF detector. Nothing. The strip of forest land between the hotel and the highway was covered with litter, and therefore not likely to be any sort of a harbor for the local Bigfoot sightings. Scranton, so far, was turning out to be a bust, paranormal-wise.

I looked up the hill at the hotel, through the strip of trees. If I hiked up the hill, I could use it as a shortcut to get back. I walked up, and found a stone wall with a fence atop it blocking my way.

I stopped and calculated a bit. I could climb the wall easily enough. Then maybe I could make my way along the fence until it ended, and be back on hotel lawn in a moment. I grabbed a handhold and began climbing.

There were plenty of handholds, and I got to the top and found myself standing on a very thin strip of grass on top of a ten-foot drop. With branches and obstacles in the way. It occurred to me how easily this could go wrong, and how badly hurt I could be if it did.

I grabbed the fence and braced myself, and began carefully working my way along the top of the wall. I wouldn't have thought twice about all this when I was sixteen. Of course, I got injured a lot more often back then.

In a few minutes, I'd made it to the edge of the fence, and with some relief I stepped onto the safe grass. Already risked a serious injury once today, and it was just now ten AM.

I made my way back to the Triple-A office. They wound up light on local maps, though apparently if I wanted one of Ontario I could have my pick. I did find an interesting catalogue about Lackawanna County, and took that. I walked back to the hotel, sat down in the lobby area, and began paging through.

Now, this was worth it. Pages on Bigfoot and Squonks, haunted spots, UFOs. There was a full page on the Carbondale sighting. And I found a photo that looked awfully familiar.

I got out my cell phone and called my friend Dani. Dani is a performer who does acrobatics and stilts; I'd known her for thirteen years.

"Dani, it's Lou."

"Hey! How are you doing? How's your family?"

"We're all good! Paul is in a dance competition in Scranton. Butters is doing good; he needs a haircut." We'd gotten our dog from Dani. "Dani, have you ever performed up in Lackawanna County?"

"Quite a bit!"

"I think your photo appears in a local catalogue up here. You're wearing a fedora with feathers, holding up two hoops, and standing about four feet taller than everyone else."

"That would be me, alright."

"I'll send you a copy."
"Thanks! I keep a scrapbook."

Over the years I've met some interesting people.

I went back to the hotel and sat down on the stairs, taking a moment to text Chloe and let her know how thing were going. I barely text, but Chloe is one of my few exceptions. I'd gotten used to having her as my lifeline when I was away, and she was reporting back to the rest of the team.

I took the catalogue back to the hotel room. Paul was on the bed, watching his cell phone. He looked up at me. "Can we have Dave's Hot Chicken for lunch?"

"Maybe," I said,"Hey, little man, check this out."

I showed him the picture of the Squonk. He said,"Awwww."

We walked up to the Scranton High School together, the whole family. Until Paul saw the first friend of the afternoon, said."I'm good now, Dad," and peeled off.

"Well, we used to have a kid," I commented.

Michelle and I walked through the door, and there was a line going through security. They were scanning people with metal detectors. I swear, it's easier to get into the goddamned Pentagon than your average school. The security guard stopped me and said,"Do you have anything in your pockets, sir?"

I sighed. "I have a pocketknife."

"You can't bring that in here," he said. "You'll have to leave that in your car."

I held my hand out to Michelle. "Gimmie the keys. I'll meet you."

I walked back out to the car, dropped off my knife, and started walking back. Jason, the studio owner's husband, caught me and said,"Lou! If I bring the truck around, can you help me unload that window for the act and wheel it in?"

"Oh, sure, absolutely. I'll wait here for you."

Five minutes later, he was back with his big panel truck and we unloaded one of the set pieces. It was a big window on wheels; I'd helped paint it. I wheeled it into the door, where I encountered the same security guard.

"You didn't have that before," he commented.

"I figured," I said,"If I have anything else I shouldn't, I'll just throw it out the window."

To give him credit, he laughed pretty hard at that.

I rolled the window across the floor and turned it over to Miss Nikki, one of the teachers. I walked around the lobby for a while, and spotted Paul with a whole gaggle of his little teammates, gathered in their costumes.

Miss Rachel, the studio owner, joined me. "I'm glad you guys made it," she said. "The girls didn't want to get ready without Paul. They demanded to come out here and wait for him."

I smiled. "I love what a cohesive team they are. I have my team, and Paul has his. It's always nice to see what a great group they make."

With Paul secured and everything done for the moment, I walked around the lobby a while more. I wound up back near the door, and nodded at the security guard.

"You really a paranormal investigator?" he asked.

"I'm getting a lot of that this weekend," I said. "I really am. Lock Haven Paranormal Seekers, out in Clinton County."
"That's really cool, man. Have any good stories?"

"We just recently had a pretty active investigation at an abandoned funeral home."

"Cool."

"Been looking into the UFO crash landing in Carbondale. You happen to know anything about that?"

"Oh, sure, I worked the festival once," he said. "They have a big thing up there. There's one guy who says he caused it all, though---Threw a lantern into the pond as a teenager, and then just never said anything when everyone thought it was a UFO."
"I'd heard that," I said.

"I actually talked to the guy," he told me. "He sounded pretty convincing."

I knew how that went. I'd spoken to some people who have given me the real story on paranormal events over the years. I'd also seen how something simple, like a lantern thrown into a pond, could fly completely off the rails and become a huge legend.

"I suppose I can cross that one off my list," I said. "Every once in a while, I find something like that. I had a field day with Raystown Ray a couple of years ago."

I circulated some more, watching the kids. They were sitting by one wall, and they'd get up and practice for a while, three or four of them. They'd take some photos, and laugh together, and it wasn't the first time I'd thought of it....What an amazing team they'd all become. I had Jay, Lex, Chloe, and Ashlin. Paul had Team Edge and all the other dancers.

"He was a stranger....He walked in looking for danger...."

I stood backstage, watching Paul and his team dance. Mister Electric Blue. I was always amazed at how professional they looked, in their costumes, doing their thing on stage.

"And I said, oooh! Mister Electric Blue....I believe in you....."

I ended up in the audience, with Michelle, as they brought all the kids out to sit on the stage for the awards. The announcer came out and said,"Okay, before we start, we're going to need a couple of volunteers. We need some of the dads to come up here. We're going to have a dad dance-off."

The girls all called out. From the stage, Paul glanced at me.

I stood up.

"We have our first volunteer! Come on up! What dance studio do you represent?"

"Rachel's Dance Unlimited," I said.

Three other dads joined me on the stage. The music began to play. I haven't danced since I was seventeen. I wasn't all that good at it then, and being middle-aged hasn't helped that any. But I did a little of what I remembered, and incorporated a high kick, which I knew from karate.

The kids all cheered. Paul's friends were delighted. One of the other dads won the contest, but they gave me a pair of sunglasses for my kid.

I handed them to Paul. He grinned.

"You came in second, Dad!" he said. "Can we get Dave's Hot Chicken?"

Water Under The Bridge

"Next on the tour," I said, stopping at the corner of Grove and Water Streets,"Is the Susquehanna River. You can't see it because of the dike right now, but you all know it's there. This is the home to a water cryptid known as the Susquehanna Seal. The Susquehanna Seal was reported in newspaper articles back in the 1800s, a large, snaky creature living in the river."
At the front of the crowd was a kid, who was getting more and more excited as I spoke. He held a hand up, and I said,"You have a question?"

"He just wants to tell you something," said the kid's father. "Go on."

"This creature was known to brush up against lumber rafts, dumping the lumbermen into the water. People reported hearing it howling at night. It's theorized that it might have been a leftover Hynerpeton, a prehistoric creature whose fossil was discovered here in 1993."

As we walked down Water Street to the next stop, a haunted hotel, the kid told me,"I saw that! We were fishing near the bridge down there, over there....."

"The Jay Street Bridge," added the father.

"And I saw this thing in the water! My cousin and me saw it! It was long and black, and had like a hump on the back."

"They both really freaked out," said the father. "Something there scared them very badly."

"About what time of year was this?"

"About seven o'clock," the kid said. "It was a Saturday....."

"What time of year?" his father prompted.

"Oh. About fall, I guess. Back around a year ago."

"Well," I said. "Things have been a little slow lately. I'm going to have to look into this. You've just given me my next investigation."

"Dad, can I open your package?" Paul likes opening packages that come in the mail. He doesn't much care what's in them. I was cooking dinner, so I kind of waved my hand and let him do it.

He slid a small box out of the package. "What's this?"

"That's my new Swiss army knife," I said. He was turning it over in his hands.

"It's too big," he declared. "Look at this!"
"It's got more stuff on it than the old one. Got a compass, a wrench. The pliers has two settings."

The thin was bright red, about an inch thick. It had a curvy, smooth, aerodynamic handle and weighed about a pound. It had at least fifty different tools on it. I could repair anything with it. I could fix La Llorona's marriage. I could repair the Silver Bridge.

"Too much stuff for me to memorize," he said, and handed it to me. "I don't like it."

"I'm gonna give it some time, see what I think," I said. "I'll carry this one around a while and see how it works for me."

I was n the middle of folding brochures when Tom called back,"Lou? Kelli wants to see you when you have a minute."

"Coming up now," I said.

I stood up and walked across the print shop to the front office. The office manager, Kelli, was sitting at her desk with a map up on the screen.

"Did you know Bigfoot's been sighted neat Penn State?" she asked.

I love my current co-workers.

I grinned. "I saw that this morning! I was drinking my coffee and I saw a news article about it. Thinking I might look into it."

"Want me to print you out a copy of the map? It shows exactly where he was seen."

"Sure. That helps. It always pays to go take a look at the site, if possible."

"Coming through. In color." She printed it out on one of the big copiers, and I picked it up and folded it in half.

"Thanks, Kelli. I'll let you know what I find."

After work, I biked over to the Jay Street Bridge. It was a clear, cool day. I biked midway across the bridge---Over the Lock Haven city limit into Woodward Township. I got off and looked at the area.

Always visit the site. It's what I try to teach people. You never know what you might discover, so always visit the site of the paranormal experience if you can. This was where the kid had spotted the Susquehanna Seal.

I got out a pair of compact binoculars and looked out over the river. Nothing yet. There wasn't much point in getting out the litmus paper and doing a test on the water; I'd tested the Susquehanna dozens of times before. I knew it could support life. 

My cell phone rang. I dug it out my my pack.

"Hey, little man. What's up? Yeah, I'm on my way home. Yeah, I can pick up a sub for you. Meatball? Okay. Home in about ten minutes, kid."

I stood in my son's bedroom, disassembling his giant bunk bed so I could put together the new bed. When you're a parent, you wind up doing things like that.

"You remember the Bigfoot sighting along I-80?" I asked Paul, who was sitting at his desk in the chair.

He nodded. "I remember you told me there was one, yeah."

Just a kid and his dad, discussing cryptids. Parenting moments.

"Been looking into that. I've checked the maps and made a few calls. It might help if you could come up with some excuse to get your mom to drive us to State College; we could stop and check the site along the way."

"I'm on it," said Paul. "I would have anyway. I'm thinking Crumbl Cookie."

"Right now, my working theory is that it's a hoax. Probably a prank from some idiot Penn State fratboy; they're known for stupid shit like that. I checked, and it happened the night before Homecoming. And, yes, the State College Spirit Halloween did have Bigfoot costumes."

"Hey! You went to Spirit Halloween without m---"

"I didn't go there, I just called. It is not so easy to explain that you don't actually want a costume, you just wanted to know if they previously had them. But they did, which is where the costume could have come from. A visit to the site will explain more."

Paul nodded, looking over my work. I took out my new knife and started unscrewing a bolt. He said,"I still don't like the new knife. Too much stuff for me to memorize."

"You'll get used to it."

"Will we have the new bed built in time for bedtime?"

"Probably. This is coming along okay. But I'll let you sleep on the couch until I do get it done, if not."

"Okay. Bet."

"Dad, you want to do something? I'm bored."

Paul had woken up with a stomachache and a sore arm from the day before, so I'd decided to give him a mental health day from school. The illness had lasted until about eleven-thirty, at which point he'd decided it was safe to be up and around.

"You got something in mind?" I asked.

He shook his head. "If you can think of something we can do....."

"How about we take a walk down to the river? I was thinking of taking a walk. The river is low because there's a drought right now, and I wanted to take a look."

"Can we ride our bikes?"

"I don't see why not."

A few minutes later, we were riding our bikes down near the water. We stopped and got off, looking at the river from the top of the dike. I climbed up on a guardrail and looked.

"You know we're right on the city limit?" I asked.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You know what city limits are?"

"That's where you leave Lock Haven and you're in Castanea."

"Pretty much, except here it's Woodward Township. That's right there, across the river. We can see it from here."

"So if we go over there---" Paul gestured out across the river. "---We're in Woodward?"

"Yep. Did I tell you I got a Susquehanna Seal sighting?"

"I thought it was Bigfoot."

"Him too. But also the Susquehanna Seal. I've been checking, but nothing has turned up."

"Is the Susquehanna Seal hibernating?"

"Could be. You know hibernation?"

"We learned about hibernation in school. Isn't that where animals sort of sleep, but for the whole winter?"

"Yeah, that's basically it. Bears do it. A lot of fish and reptiles do it, too. So it's reasonable to assume the Susquehanna Seal might, as well."

"Are we going to see the Susquehanna Seal in the spring?"

"I mean, we can hope. You want to go home and watch that horror movie on Plex you've been wanting to see?"
Paul lit up. "Yeah!"

"So I'll have to check out the Susquehanna Seal later. It's like it always is with the Susquehanna Seal....The case has gone cold."

I was watching the mile markers as we rode along the highway toward Centre County. I saw the sign on the county line, and I said,"The Bigfoot sighting is up ahead, about six miles."

"Oh yeah?" Paul said, looking up from the back of the car. He said,"It's on the way to the movie?"

"Well, it's on the way to State College."

"I really wanted to see the movie in State College. I'm gonna eat about $3.50 worth of popcorn. It's why I asked Mom." I was going to have to up the kid's allowance.

"Bigfoot?" his little friend Noah asked. "Really?"
"Yeah, there was a sighting right up ahead."

"Is Bigfoot real? If I saw Bigfoot, I'd have to kick him and run away."
There was a lot to unpack there. I said,"Well, nobody knows if Bigfoot's real or not. Or any cryptid. It's why I investigate. Panda bears, gorillas, and platypuses were all thought to be imaginary, until somebody found one for sure. So nobody knows for sure if Bigfoot's real."

"Really? Pandas?"

"Yeah, they were thought to be made-up. Now, there really aren't a lot of credible reports of Bigfoot actually attacking people. They mostly seem to run away. They're probably pretty shy."

"Have you ever seen a UFO?" Noah asked.

"A couple."

"Really? Were they cool?"

"Pretty cool. Mostly just lights in the sky...."

"Remember that one we saw in Maryland?" Paul asked.

"I remember."

I watched the side of the road as we approach mile marker 169. Always visit the site, even if it's driving by. Along I-80, there's no place to stop. 

I could see across the edge of the highway and the nearby field, where Jacksonville Road swerved surprisingly close to Eighty.

I looked at the layout; always visit the site if you can. Bigfoot had been spotted within an easy walking distance, moving away from the overpass. Farm Lane ran down and underneath I-80. I looked down that way.

It was basically clear, much clearer than most of what bordered on the interstate. The trees were clear for a bit, and I could see where someone could easily jump the guardrail and run down the bank to get to a waiting car.

Paul asked,"See Bigfoot?"

"Pretty sure I see the answer behind that sighting," I said. "Looks like it was a college student, probably on a dare or something. Put on a discount Halloween costume, got spotted along the highway, then ran down the bank to a getaway car."

"At least you solved one," said Paul.

I nodded. "I'll take it as a win. I'm happy to figure these things out, even if it turns out to be a hoax. I got the Bigfoot sighting, and the Susquehanna Seal isn't going anywhere."

I sat in the theater, watching the second "Wicked" installment. Paul sat next to me with his popcorn, and a bottle of soda. He leaned over and whispered,"Can I use your knife, Daddy?"

I handed him the new knife. He opened the bottle opener and used it to pry open his soda bottle before handing it back to me.

"Maybe the new knife isn't so bad," he said.

#150: Moth To A Flame

It was a nice evening.

I was leaving the store with some crackers for an upcoming trip, and some root beers for Paul. I got on my bike and pulled into Kite Alley, when I found a friend of mine walking over.

"Hi, Wendi. How are you?"

"Hi, Lou! Doing good, how about you?"

"Doing good. Planning my haunted tours for the year. You want to come?"

"Oh, of course I do. You know I love that stuff. Hey, while we're on the subject, I wanted to tell you about something!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, I was picking my daughter and her friend up in Beech Creek and we saw Mothman. It's not much, but...."

"No, Mothman is one of my favorites! Tell me about it."

"We were picking her and her friend up in Beech Creek. In the woods, we saw something really quick---Big and black, wing ten-foot wings, flying. It was only for a moment, and then it was gone."

"Well, this is gonna give me something to look into," I said. "I love the Mothman. Now I gotta do some investigating."

I'd seen the old lady before, occasionally. She'd approached me a few times over the years to ask me questions about local history, or tell me things she thought I didn't know. When I got to work, she was in the front office, making some photocopies. Tom was helping her. When I walked in, she showed one to me. It looked to be a newspaper story about thunderbirds.

"Ah, cool," I commented.

"They've been seen around this area," she said.

I nodded. "I've written about some sightings."

She continued, giving me no sign she'd heard me. She was the kind of person who only heard what she felt like hearing. "Thunderbirds have been seen out near Bald Eagle Creek, you know. Out near the Castanea Fire Hall."

"Have they? I didn't know that."

"Oh, yes. I've seen them out there. There used to be a man who knew my dad, he lived out near the old storage building, and he would talk about seeing them."
"Well, now I'm interested. Oh, that reminds me." I turned to Tom, still making copies. "You live in Beech Creek. You ever see the Mothman down there?"
"Wait, what?"

"Or any weird flying creature that you can't explain. I've had a Mothman sighting in the Beech Creek area."

"Mothman?"

"Sort of a big bug-person creature. Usually sticks close to West Virginia, but he's been seen in Chicago lately. I haven't heard of Mothman being out this far in central Pennsylvania before."
"Oh. No, I haven't seen anything. I'm not really out enough to see anything like that."

"Well, if you happen to be out at camp or something, and you have a sighting, let me know. I got a job to do."

"B...Forty-two. B....Forty-two." 

I walked across the Bingo hall and sat down with Michelle. She was playing two cards at once, while I'd been walking around helping out. It was a fundraiser for Paul's dance class; Paul himself was back in the small kids' room playing with some of his friends.

"Just got done telling the kids some ghost stories by request," I said. "How's it going?"

"Okay," she said. "How you doing?"

"Kind of a rough day," I said. "Tim fired me from SPI this morning for my refusal to work with psychics."

She looked at me in some shock. "What happened?"

"Tim included a fucking psychic in our last investigation. When I had to submit my report, I stated that we'd damaged our credibility by including a fraudulent psychic, and the whole investigation should be scrapped and done over due to the whole thing being compromised. Tim ran it past the lawyer, who said that I could be in trouble for defamation. And Tim dropped me from the team."

"Could you really be sued for defamation?"
"I'd love to see her try to prove in court that her abilities work."

"Are you and Tim still friends?"

"I guess so. I'm pissed as hell right now, and I think it's going to be a while before I want to hang with him. But I don't plan on cutting off contact or anything."

"Did you have to say that in your report?"

"I think it was the only ethical thing I could do. I do historic research and prove what I say; I can't go letting people make stuff up as if it's actual documentation."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, look into Mothman and the thunderbird a bit; I've had sightings. And Chloe asked me to do some research on her house."

"I mean about the team."

I shrugged. 

"I still have LHPS." I could see Paul signaling to me from across the room. "Gotta go. The kids want more ghost stories."

I get home from work every day about four, usually just in time to beat Paul inside. I walked the dogs and brought in the mail, and when the kid got home, I tossed him a small package.

"What's this?"

"Your new ghost-hunting outfit, if you want it," I said.

He tore it open and pulled out a fanny pack, black, with a thick strap. He looked it over, and said,"I approve."

"With me changing mine so I don't look like an ICE agent, I didn't want you running around in a tac vest, either," I said. "You like to wear these across your chest, and I thought that was a good look. I'll transfer your equipment into it. You still want the skull gloves?"

Paul nodded, heading for the refrigerator. "Yeah. I like those."

"Okay. Good. With me out of SPI, it looks like it's likely to be you and me doing investigations for a while. Just got a Mothman sighting down around the county line; you want in?"

"Sure."
"Maybe down to Bald Eagle State Park one of these weekends to take a look? Sometime after we get back from our bus trip to Baltimore."

"Maybe. I asked Rylan if she could come along."

"What'd she say?"

"She's going to check with her mom. But she wants to wait until her mom is in the right mood."

"I get that. I used to do that." A thought occurred to me. "Do you have to do that?"

"Not really. Well, sometimes with Mom. But you're usually in a pretty good mood, except for when there's problems with your friends."

"You mean like this thing with Tim and SPI?"

"Well, yeah, like that."

"Well, I'm not too bothered by that, buddy. And don't worry about asking me stuff---A lot of the time, when things are bad, you cheer me up considerably."

"Okay, buddy. Have a good day at school."

Paul headed out the door and down to the bus stop---He doesn't let me walk him down there anymore. I went to the kitchen and poured myself another cup of coffee. Alone with Rosie, Butters, and the hamster.

I sat down at my computer and looked up the number for the Mothman Museum in West Virginia. I tried calling, but they had a long, rambling message, so I settled for e-mailing instead. Then I stepped out on the porch with the coffee and looked outside.

It was pouring out. I sipped some coffee and looked at the horrible rain, considering. I had some stuff I'd wanted to do, but it wasn't pressing. I could stay home and avoid the rain.

I smiled.

On the other hand, is there better weather to investigate a thunderbird?

Across town, I did the title search on Chloe's house at the courthouse annex. I got as far back as 1945, where the deeds suddenly dropped---Someone may have typed a wrong number in 1951, leaving me clueless after that. I scribbled down a list of names and dates, and then gathered my stuff and walked out.

Since I was on the east end of Lock Haven anyway, I biked out to Castanea. Still pouring. I turned and rode down past the Castanea Fire Hall, and down along Bald Eagle Creek. The irony is that I was practically right across from my own house; Castanea Township begins about two blocks from where I live. But because there's no bridge across the creek, I have to go the long way around.

I stopped along Lower Creek Road and got off the bike. I was wearing the huge poncho I'd bought a while back, and still getting wet. I worked my way through some trees and thorns, beating my way back to Bald Eagle Creek.

The slope had turned completely to mud, making the footing somewhat hazardous. I clung to some trees as I carefully worked my way down to the creek, standing on some large rocks.

No signs of thunderbirds. I hadn't exactly expected one to be sitting around and waiting for me anyway. I knelt on the rocks by the creek, looking things over.

Bald Eagle Creek routes from the Susquehanna, which in turn runs down and into the Chesapeake Bay. When you're looking into a flying creature especially, you have to consider what's called an OOPS---Out Of Place Specimen. In other words, a creature that isn't usually seen in a certain area. Stop me if I'm getting too technical for you.

Theoretically, thunderbird sightings could easily be caused by an especially large bird, say a condor, flying too far inland where they're not supposed to be. A logical route would be for them to follow the water, form the ocean up the Susquehana into Castanea Township. Water is where prey is.

I looked down the creek and saw it; I remembered it being there before. An old Native American fish trap---A V-shaped weir in the water, designed to funnel fish into a spot where they could be easily caught. Fish clustered in one spot would certainly be a food source for a large bird, which might explain the thunderbird sightings.

I climbed back up the bank. I still had time to buy groceries before I headed back home.

From my office in the basement, I sent Chloe a message. I loved having a small office in the basement; I'd always dreamed of underground hideouts when I was a kid. It helped that the boss didn't really care much what I was doing down there.

Because of all the rain, the south end of the basement was leaking badly. Up near the ceiling, water was pouring in through a pipe, making a sort of pretty waterfall down the wall. It all pooled into a pond on the floor, and ran into two holes in the floor before it drained. Excess water ran across the floor to the north and into a pit under the stairs. So when it rained hard, my office had a water feature.

I sent her the historic information I'd found on her house. She was online.

I got fired from a ghost hunting team I'm on because of my refusal to work with psychics. So I needed a little cheering up!

She responded a moment later.

If it makes you feel any better about the ghost hunting team, I'm glad you stood your ground. As someone who is definitely a people-pleaser, seeing you stand your ground and not give up your beliefs is something to look up to.

That helps, actually. Thanks. Makes me feel a lot better. 

I agree with you completely. If you're gonna pretend to be psychic, at least be creative. It really paints a completely misleading picture for the field of ghost hunting, and makes it seem like it's based on instinct instead of research.

Exactly! You get it. You're making me feel a lot better, actually. Thanks for that. I figure if I did something that you can respect, I probably did the right thing.

I'm glad I could help! I look up to a lot of what you do, your serving as a great role model for me right now! Especially regarding how you don't back down when your beliefs are threatened.

So, excitement tomorrow---My family is going on a bus trip to the Baltimore Aquarium! My wife's company does these trips sometimes. I hope to do a little research into water cryptids, and show Paul some good stuff, and maybe look out the window for a Maryland flying cryptid, the Snallygaster, on the way. Because what else will I have to do on the bus?

That's awesome! I just found out today we booked a trip to Gettysburg for Sunday/Monday! I am so freaking excited!!!! We are staying at the Farnsworth house in  the McFarlane room. I'm planning on bringing my EMF detectors. I want to ask if you have any other tools I might possibly be able to borrow for my trip?

Absolutely I do! How about a laser thermometer? I can easily loan you one.

I smiled, down in my basement hideout. I like talking to Chloe, and trying to be a role model for her. Sometimes the young kid needs reassurance.

And sometimes, so does the older one.

Paul and I looked down on some manta rays and other fish from the upper balcony. The Baltimore Aquarium is an enjoyable place, and it was the fourth time I'd been there---The first for Paul and his little friend Rylan, who'd come along. They were both carrying orange sodas that had cost about $3.50.

We walked into a dark hallway with a tank of anemones. Paul gasped, looking at the bright colors. Rylan was staring at them, and a moment later, the water in the tank burst with bubbles.

"What did you touch?" I asked Rylan.

"Nothing!" she said. "I swear!"

The next tank had some crabs in it. Rylan asked Paul,"What's your favorite part of this?"

"All of it, I think."

"I liked touching the jellyfish."

"I think this is fun," Paul said,"But I liked the Pittsburgh Zoo better."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, interested. "Why is that?"

He shrugged. "They had all the animals separate. They were all in their own cages."

"I see."

Michelle asked,"What do you guys want to see next?"

"I want to check out the boats outside," said Paul.

Outside the aquarium, on the Chesapeake Bay, there was an operation that rented small boats to ride around the harbor for half an hour at a time. We'd gotten a pirate ship with a kraken on the side, which I liked, and Paul was steering it. I got a photo of another boat shaped like a sea monster.

"Closest I've ever come to finding the Chesapeake Bay serpent," I said.

"There's a serpent out here?" asked Rylan.

"Yeah, Chessie, the Chesapeake Bay cryptid. We've encountered that one before." I'd looked into Chessie years ago, on a family trip to Virginia. 

"What's that?" Paul asked.

I glanced over. There was something swimming in the water by the buoy, sticking a long neck up out of the water. I took a photo and got all excited for a moment, until I realized what it was.

"It's a duck," I said.

It came up out of the water, and then a moment later, flew away.

After a long day at school, Paul likes to relax by going insane on the trampoline. He and Serina were bouncing around, burning off any inexplicable excess energy.

"Find any ghosts?" Serina asked me. She's always interested in these things.

"No ghosts recently, but I did bike out to Castanea to look for thunderbirds the other day."

She looked surprised. "You went all the way to Castanea?"

"It's not that far. Truth is, we live practically next door to Castanea. Castanea Township is right over there. But everyone thinks we live far away, because you have to go the long way around. We could just walk right to it if there was a bridge over Bald Eagle Creek...."

I trailed off. Paul glanced over at me, and said,"Dad?"

"Just had a thought," I said. "Be right back."

I went inside and came back with a Clinton County map. I unfolded it and said,"Okay, so I've had a thunderbird sighting in Castanea and a Mothman sighting in Beech Creek. The Jersey Devil was seen at the paper mill in 1909. Now, it's normal for some birds to follow along waterways; that's where the food is. People see large birds sometimes, out of area specimens, and mistake them for cryptids."

"Have you seen cryptids turn out to be large birds before?" Serena asked.

"Egrets? I've had a few. Beech Creek runs into Bald Eagle Creek, which runs into the Susquehanna River, which ends up in the Chesapeake Bay. So large birds could theoretically fly up the river right in from the coast. Which means....They'd end up at the paper mill. It's why there are all those ducks and geese in the mill ponds."

I looked up from the map. they were both staring at me.

"So I need to check out where all the birds go."

It was autumn; the sun was going down earlier, and it was almost dark when we picked Paul up from dance class. I made him a pizza---He's always starved after dance, plus most of the rest of the time---And he sat down at the table to eat it. I went up to my office and changed into my outift.

Sling bag with the bandolier. Hood, Fingerless gloves. I was ready.

I walked downstairs. Paul asked,"Where are you going?"

"Down to the paper mill to look for the Mothman. I'll be back in a bit."

I got my bike out of the garage and rode toward the paper mill, a couple of blocks away past the Lock Haven city limit. It was a bright moon, not quite full. I turned toward the paper mill.

Birds had been flying up Bald Eagle Creek for probably a hundred years or more. Once I saw it, I couldn't quite unsee it---Even the alleys in this neighborhood were named after birds. Grouse Alley, Finch Alley, Crane Alley. The ponds at the paper mill were a good stopping point for traveling birds, even ones not generally seen in the area.

I pulled up at the gate. Mostly I forget just how close I live to the very edge of Lock Haven. I was in the parking lot of a local bar, which was reasonably quiet on a Thursday night. The ponds with their usual flock of geese were right beside me, past the gate.

I walked along it, looking through, checking for cryptids.

Something moved behind me.

It rustled through the tall grass as I turned.

Showtime.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

It was giant---At least four feet tall. Dark grey. It came at me, making a crowing sort of sound, and I flailed out at it, punching and kicking.

The Mothman!

I punched out, scraping up my knuckles, and then kicked. It backed off. I'm not gonna get killed by a cryptid; I'm gonna have a heart attack sometime. Once I got my pulse back under control, I realized that it was a bird---A huge one, some sort of crane.

It came at me again. I backed up and kicked. I wasn't using any kind of specialized martial art, I was thrashing around in pure panic hoping to hit something. I raised my arms, and held up my shoulder bag, hoping to make myself look bigger and more threatening.

The crane bought it and took off. I chased after it for about ten yards before deciding I really didn't want to do that. I fell to one knee in the parking lot, catching my breath, as it launched itself over the fence and disappeared.

"Birds of a feather," I said.

I was printing envelopes at work when the back door opened and Tif rolled in with her new wheelchair. "Oh, hi, hon," I said.

"Hi Dad," said Tif. "I came to get a copy made. What the hell happened to your hand?"
I looked down at my right hand, scratched up from the night before. "Oh, this. I got into a fight with some kind of sandhill crane."

"On purpose?"

"Not really; the bastard snuck up on me and mugged me. I thought it was the Mothman."

"And you were so disappointed it was a bird that you had to start a fight with it?"

"It started a fight with me. I didn't even see it coming. Apparently they can be aggressive to humans if they're defending their territory."

"Don't some of those things get about five feet tall?"

"This one looked like it was close to Paul's height. It was pretty alarming."

"So the crane accounts for the Mothman sightings?"

"They often do. A sandhill crane was probably responsible for the original sightings in 1966, but nobody really wanted to hear that."

"I think people need cryptids," said Tif.

I grinned.

"I know I do."

Gaywatch

Nobody becomes a paranormal investigator for the food. But sometimes it works out that way anyway. 

We usually meet at Millie's. She has the biggest house. So we were sitting around the table snacking---We had some coconut cake, chips, and sodas. I sat around the table with both teams---Millie, Tim, Ashlin, Devaughn, Pete, and Vince. It was the best meeting we'd had in a while.

"Here's your ticket for the Hiawatha cruise, Ashlin," I said, handing her an envelope. "Been hanging onto it since the last meeting."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll be seeing you guys there."

"Does it take all night?" Millie asked.

"Nah," I said. "Been on the cruises before. It's only a couple of hours."

"I think it's from seven until nine," said Vince.

"That sounds right," I said. "I'm gonna get an article out of it."

"West Branch Pride sold out of tickets again," said Tim. "This makes the fourth year in a row."

"There's an old legend of a ghost along the river," I said. "A Henry Shoemaker story...The Siren of the Susquehanna. A Native American girl who was killed by a jealous lumberman, so her ghost waits by the side of the river singing to lure people in. I'm gonna smuggle in some of my equipment to take some readings while we're onboard."

"I'll let security know," said Tim,"To avoid any problems."

I nodded. "Should be mostly just my all-in-one EMF detector. I don't see the need to wear my whole tac vest on a gay pride cruise."

Tim grinned. "Want some more coconut cake?"

"Do you guys know what ICE is?"

This from Paul, just before bed. Michelle glanced at me; we had that telepathy that comes when you've been married for twenty-two years. Her look said This one's all yours.

I nodded. I got this.

She left the room. I sat down on Paul's bed.

"Yeah, I know ICE. We're talking about the government agency, right?"
"Yeah. Some of my friends are scared."

"I don't blame them, really. It's pretty scary lately. They're rounding up people who came from other countries, and sending them back. Or, in some cases, people who were even born here."

"I have a friend who doesn't speak much English," said Paul. "And he says he just wants to hide in the bathroom."

"I can see where he'd be worried. It's a very scary time. Now, so you know, you're an American citizen, so you don't have to worry. Okay?"

"I'm African-American. Does that mean I'm half African and half American?"

"No, your ancestors were from Africa, but you're also full American."

"Will my friends get taken away by ICE?"

"I hope not. And if I can help, I will." I tugged his blanket up over him. "Things are gonna be okay, little man. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Check it out, kiddo," I said, pointing as we pulled into the parking lot. "That's the boat."

"Cool!" said Paul

The Hiawatha, a huge paddleboat, sat at the bank of the Susquehanna River, festooned with Pride flags and rainbow decorations. Tim was waiting when we walked up the ramp and into the lower level, and he gave me a hug.

"Millie's already on board," he said. "Tif, I have a spot for you on the front. You guys can sit anywhere you want."

"Let's go up top!" said Paul.

We walked up and got a table. Paul asked me,"Can we go get a cupcake and a soda?"

"Sure, kiddo," I said. "Come on."

We walked down to the lower level, and I bought the kid a soda. The cupcake was free, and probably was not going to be Paul's only one of the night. When we walked back up, I bumped into an old friend.

"Lou! Hi!"
"Hi, Claire!" I said with some surprise. It had been a few years since I'd seen her. "How have you been?"

"Great! These are my friends, Kendall and Jonah."

I shook a couple of hands. She said,"I love the ghost shirt. Doing any investigating?"

"Oh sure." I had my rainbow ghost shirt on. I got out my all-in-one. "Brought my EMF detector today."

"I wondered what that was," commented Jonah. "I thought it was some sort of walkie talkie."

"Looks like that, actually. But it measures electricity and magnetism."

"And that's a sign of a ghost?"

"It can be. I like this model because if you press this button, it measures temperature, too. So that means I don't have to carry around several pieces of equipment. It's easier."

"That's cool."

"I'm looking into a legend of a ghost along the river tonight. She was a murdered girl from an old legend, and is said to sing to lure in people....The Susquehanna Siren."

Jonah smiled. "I think we just found our trivia team name! Unless you were going to use it."
"Nah, my wife would just give me that look. You go right ahead." I got out my EMF detector and turned it on, and almost instantly got a little flicker. "Oh, now, that's interesting."

"Are you getting something already?" Claire asked.

"I am, a little bit. I need to look into this some more."

The boat gave a very gentle lurch, and we were off.

Ashlin sat at our table, across from my wife. I looked over at her and grinned. "Who would have thought, a million years ago when you were waiting on me at the grocery store, one day we'd be on a Pride cruise together?"

She grinned back at me. "I did not see this coming."

I got up and gave her a hug. "You know you've become one of my best friends."

"You, too."

Tim came over, and I joined him at the railing overlooking the back of the boat. We watched the paddlewheel go around.

"Neat, isn't it?" he said. "Too bad it's fake."

"I didn't actually know that until you said it," I said.

"Yeah, it's actually powered by an engine."

"I'm thinking of ditching the tactical vest for a while," I said.

Tim understood immediately. I knew he would.

"ICE," he said.

I nodded.

"Yeah. I got a rinabow ally patch on there, but still....I don't want to be scaring anyone, or having problems."
"Yeah, you notice I quit wearing mine."

"I'm thinking of a temporary redesign. I've done it before, for similar reasons. I'll be working on that for a while. Maybe something a little more Robin Hood."
Tim smiled.

"Robin Hood is good."

Paul came over. I said,"Having a good time, buddy?"
'Yeah!"

"You see those little islands in the river? Those are log booms. Back in the 1800s, guys used to stand on them with long poles and sort out the logs for the lumber companies."

"Cool."

"You want to help me look for the Susquehanna Seal? It's supposed to be in this river someplace."

"Sure."

"I got a binoculars."

"Oooh! Gimmie."

I handed him the little cheap folding binoculars. "Here, you unfold them like this. No, you're looking through the wrong end. Like that." I was actually glad that I had the string to wear them around your neck, or I might end up with binoculars on the bottom of the Susquehanna.

"It makes everything look close up!"

"Have fun, little man."

Paul leaned over the railing, raised his hands, and called out,"I'm flying, Jack! I mean, Dad!"
"Actually, it's okay with me if you don't use my real name when you do that."

"Oh, come on."

I stepped forward, and Paul stood behind me, and I shouted out,"King of the world!"

You have to do that.

With Tim circulating the boat and Paul on guard against water cryptids, I walked around a bit with the EMF detector. I got a few flickers where I shouldn't have, always a good sign.

Tif was still downstairs where I'd left her, wearing her bright rainbow dress. "You doing okay, honey?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she said. "Paul came by and gave me a rainbow party hat."

I went inside to the bar and got a beer for about $3.50---Normally I never drink while investigating, but I figure you can probably get away with in on a Pride cruise. I returned to the front of the boat.

I leaned over the front rail and looked out at the river. A guy with a beard came over to me. "Enjoying the view?"

"Checking for water monsters."

He went someplace else.

I got out the EMF detector, sipped my beer, and took some readings. It shot up to .12 at one point, which was good. Could be the Susquehanna Siren.

It was not bad, being here with some of my best friends and my family. It was another one of those wonderful times, one of those times you'll never forget.

Paul came to join me as we pulled back into the dock. He had an armload of the table decorations he'd begged off of people---Noisemakers, party hats, and tapestries.

"You have a good time, little man?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Paul.

We stood together as the boat docked back alongside the Susquehanna River.

As we disembarked, I passed Claire and her friends again. She grinned over at me.

"Find anything?" she asked.

"A few flickers I need to look into," I said, smiling. "It's been a good night."

Decades Ago

"Emily, would you mind printing me off one of the signs for my books? I'm going to need it down in Lancaster this weekend."

Emily smiled. "Sure, Lou. No problem. That's right, this weekend is another Lancaster trip."

"Yeah, some of the team and I are in for a Cryptid Weekend event at a club down there. It's called Decades, and it's made from an old armory. So we're investigating the first night, staying over in a hotel, and then I'm trying to sell some of my books at the event the next day."

"Sounds like fun."

"I hope. I been all excited; I'm looking forward to it mostly."

She glanced at me. "Mostly?"

"This coming weekend kind of bothers me a little. Sunday is one year since I died in the emergency room. I mean, it's also the anniversary of the Roswell crash, but I'm a little less concerned with that."

"Oh, wow. Yeah. I can see how that would bother you."

"I don't really expect anything is going to happen. But it's still on my mind, you know? Just a little apprehensive about the day."

"I'm glad you made it," said Emily. "Glad you're still with us."

"Yeah," I said. "Me too."

I was a little surprised to see Devaughn already waiting in the parking lot when we pulled in. I got out of the car and said,"Hey! Were you on guard duty or something?"

He grinned. "I saw you guys getting here through the window. Here's your key."

"Thanks. Everyone else here?"

"Yep. We just got in a little while ago. We have four rooms booked."

"Excellent."

Tim came through the front doors of the hotel. "Millie's looking good," he said. "She's walking without her cane today."

"Good news," I said. "I'm sure she's all excited."

"She's loving this. She said she's starved."

"Me, too, to be honest. Let me get our stuff up to the room, and then we'll head out for food."

"I got us some Golden Corral gift cards. That should work."

"Love Golden Corral. Be right with you."

The room was much nicer than I'd expected. I had two large bags---My camouflage travel bag and my gym bag with the paranormal stuff in it. I set them beside the bed I expected to be using. I tend to travel pretty efficiently, with all of my stuff staying packed unless I'm using it so I can just grab it and go. Michelle and Paul, by contrast, would have their crap all over the room within five minutes.

Michelle came in behind me and looked around. "Hey. This is nice."

"It really is. I'm pleased with it. They say there's a free breakfast."

"Probably just toast and stuff."

"Still. If there's coffee, I'm good. You ready to go to dinner?"

The Golden Corral is what would happen if someone piled all of the food in the world together and let everyone go nuts on it. I'm always interested to see what Paul's going to go for---He's a picky eater, but he loves buffets and things. He likes to make his own selections; in this case, four slices of pizza and then dessert.

I walked through the salad bar, then got some pork steaks and seafood salad, and joined Millie and my family at the table. I said to Millie,"You remember the bat incident? That time I got chased out of a stairwell by a bat during an investigation?"

She grinned. "The old VFW, around, what, 2010, wasn't it?"

"That sounds about right."

Michelle asked,"Are you guys going to investigate after dinner?"

"Yeah, we'll come back to grab our stuff and then head out," I said. "Paul, you can come along, or you can stay with your mom. Either way. I should be back around ten."

"I want to stay with Mom," said Paul.

"Okay."

"We can go see a movie," Michelle offered.

"Find out if we can see Lilo and Stitch."

I changed from my Bigfoot Research Team shirt to my LHPS uniform. I got my tactical vest out of my bag and pulled it on. The fingerless gloves with skulls on the back. I strapped on my LHPS belt and clicked it shut. Checked and made sure everything was secured in my pockets.

The others met me down in the lobby, and we walked out the door. We walked across the parking lot to the vehicle.

There was an outdoor elevator at Decades, and we all stepped on it. Me, Tim, Millie, Vince, Devaughn, and Petey. We rose up to the garage door as it opened, almost in slow motion, and we stepped through it into the building.

The ghost hunters had arrived.

Go time.

"We have an art show down here in the basement," said Tony, the owner of Decades. "But nobody should be in this section. You're welcome to do anything you need to down here. I'm excited."

At the end of the hall was a set of big rooms that appeared to be storage. Vince set down the case and started digging for equipment. I got out an EMF detector. Tony asked,"Does anyone need anything? Drinks? Water?"

"I could go for some water," I said. "I'm on a blood pressure patch that leaves me dehydrated."
Tony nodded. "Be right back."

"Okay, guys," I said,"I think we're best sticking to video and measurement readings on this one, and not bothering with any audio. With everything going on upstairs, there's no point. So let's do cameras, EMFs, laser thermometers, and see what we can come up with."

Vince began setting things up, and Tim started going around taking readings. Millie sat down and began looking through the FLIR. I took my EMF detector and wandered into the next room, and immediately saw that there was going to be some trouble.

The entire wall was covered with electrical junction boxes---All the power in the place ran right through here. My EMF detector spiked right away, and stayed high. I walked all the way across the room, and the readings continued.

Tim walked in. He asked,"What do you think?"
"I can see some of this already," I said. "This whole wall is electric. The EMFs are off the charts. Been a while since I've seen this. We have a fear cage going here."

"Oh?"

I nodded. "Some people are sensitive to EMFs. High ones can make a non-haunted place feel haunted, and a haunted place feel worse. Sloan Hall back in Lock Haven is like that. I did an apartment building a few years back that also had the same effect."

"I'm getting some odd temperature readings in the hall," Tim commented. "Millie has some stuff on video---There's a blob of light moving around in there, and she's getting it on tape. She says she has a new friend."

I grinned. "Well, that's cool. I'm going to go and see how far this field goes."

I walked back around to the other room. Tony had left some water bottles for us, and I took one and got a drink. It helped. I was now to the point I could tell when my blood pressure medication was working because I was dehydrated or tired.

 I walked through the far room, and found Devaughn taking some readings. I said,"We're getting high EMFs, even over here. Right through the wall. This would explain a lot."

He nodded. "Yeah, they're pretty high."

We walked out into the hall. A woman was there looking at the art exhibit, and she said,"Oh my god, you guys are ghost hunters! Is this place haunted?"

"Looking that way," commented Tim.

"This is awesome! I'm really into this! Can I take your picture?"

So we posed a moment for a photo at the end of the hall. 

I walked through the hallway quietly, checking with my EMF detector and the laser thermometer. I stopped to look at some of the art, too, which was pretty good. 

A year ago, I'd gotten up in the morning and been quickly rushed to the hospital. I'd actually died for thirty seconds when my heart stopped and I'd needed CPR. I didn't remember a whole lot; I'd basically returned to life in a Williamsport hospital room with a nurse standing over me. 

The anniversary was on my mind. Nobody else seemed to remember exactly what day it had been. Emily got a pass; she hadn't known me then. I didn't particularly expect everyone else to be dwelling on it or anything, but I myself was thinking about it a lot as the one-year anniversary came.

Vince had put a homemade Theremin on a bench down the hall, because apparently he'd had a few minutes available to make them. I could hear it go off thirty feet away. Tim and Tony came out into the hallway, and Tim said,"It's not supposed to be doing that."

"Not while I'm about thirty feet off, it's not," I said. I waved my fingers near the antenna, and it went off when they got too close. "See, I gotta be like an inch away."

"Something is making it go off," said Tim.

"Getting photos." I took my camera out of a pocket and rotated through the hall, snapping photos. "Tony, would it be okay if I did a walk-through upstairs, and just get a few readings? I can take off the vest if you think it would make people nervous."

He grinned. "Yeah, I think it might. But you're welcome to check around upstairs."

I dropped the vest on the table by my pack, and walked upstairs with the EMF detector. The upper floor was packed with people, eating and playing the arcade games. It was also packed with EMFs; I got readings just about everywhere I stood.

The bouncer approached me. "You're one of the ghost hunters, right? How's it going?"

"Place is probably haunted," I said. "But there are also electromagnetic fields making it seem a bit crazier than it really is."

"That's really cool," he said. "You do a lot of this?"

"All the time, but mostly back in Lock Haven. Sometimes I get out of the county, though, and do some traveling. Been spending a lot of time in Lancaster lately."

"I like those gloves," he said. "I need to get a pair like that."

I was wearing the vinyl gloves with skulls on the back. "Amazon," I said. "About eleven bucks. I wear these on most investigations."

"Cool!"

I walked around a bit more, and then headed back downstairs. Tim caught me in the hallway and said,"What do you think about packing up and getting ready for tomorrow?"

"Been here a couple of hours. It's probably about time."

"Find anything up there?"

"Place is still bleeding EMFs. The bouncer likes my fashion sense. How's it going down here?"

"Plenty on the spirit box. Millie got her video. It's been pretty busy. Tony is happy."

"Good. Good."

I don't care if I wake up on fire, my first priority is going to be coffee. I got up in the hotel before Michelle and Paul, and went looking for coffee in the lobby. I got a cup and brought it back upstairs, where I found Tim in the hallway doing essentially the same thing.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"We're getting everyone up and ready," he said. "We'll get checked out and head for Decades for the event. Great night last night."

I nodded. I leaned against the wall and drank some of my coffee. "We got some good results. I'm pleased."

"Millie loved it. She's having a great time. I'm glad we could get her out for this."

"Me, too. Millie and I go way back. She was essentially the first person I recruited for the team back in 2007."

"You ready for today?"
I took a drink of my coffee and grinned at him.

"Getting there."

A giant cardboard sign of Bigfoot stood across from me in the lobby. I sat at the table with my vest spread out in front of me, much of my equipment on display, and stacks of my books for sale. I'd been fielding questions and explaining things for a couple of hours. It was a good event.

Tim and the SPI team were across the lobby, with Millie beside them. I caught her eye and gave her a thumbs-up, and she smiled and returned it.

Paul sat down beside me. "Are there any more tokens?" he asked.

I pulled a small black sack out of my pack and handed it to him. "Plenty more, buddy. You enjoying the games?"

He nodded. "I played the basketball one for a while, and a Jurassic Park one. I also played one where I shoot aliens."
"Cool. Just in case we get invaded again."

He looked at me. "It was this time last year when you went to the hospital."

I glances dat him with some surprise. "Yeah. Tomorrow, in fact. How did you know that?"

"You weren't there the first week of my summer camp. I wasn't happy when I woke up and you weren't home. You know that big dent in my top bunk? That's where I kicked it when you didn't come home.""

"It was pretty traumatic for all of us, buddy. But everything seems to be allright now." I gave him a hug. "In fact, everything is just fine."

Dance Dance Apparition: Part Two

"There's Bigfoot!" commented Michelle.

I looked out the car window. "He's enormous."

Along Interstate 80, there was a giant Bigfoot cutout. It had to be thirty feet tall. I was in the back with Paul, and Michelle and Tif were up front, on the way to the second round of dance competitions.

"We'll be staying where there's Bigfoot sightings," I said. "Near the hotel in Mercer, there have been sightings of a tan Bigfoot every ten years. It was 2005, then 2015, so we're right on time. The hotel is near an overpass, and cryptids love overpasses, so I figure I'll go and look."

"What is it with you and cryptids and overpasses?" asked Tif.

"Well, the Virginia Bunnyman---"

"Nope. Never mind."

"Then when we get to New Castle, there's a haunted mansion very near the competition. Also New Castle is the birthplace of Jack Cole, who created Plastic Man, so that's cool."

"How long until we get there?" Paul asked.

I looked at my watch. "About another hour."

"Aargh."

"But we're coming up on the highest point on Eighty east of the Mississippi. Look, you don't want to miss that."

The hotel room was about typical. Two beds, a TV, a bathroom. I texted Emily while I sat at the desk, to let her know we'd arrived safe, and told her I was going to look for the light-colored Bigfoot.

Good luck, she sent back.

If I find him, I told her, I'll call him Blondie.

I'd  brought my cryptid vest, a packable fishing vest with all my equipment in it. I pulled it on and said,"Think I'll go out for a walk while it's still light out."

"Have fun," said Michelle.

I walked down the hall and through the lobby. I checked the rack; there were a couple of brochures available, but nothing too fascinating. There was a redheaded girl working the desk.

"Weird question," I said. "Do you know of any interesting haunted places around here, or Bigfoot sightings? Anything like that?"

I like to talk to locals when I can. Sometimes they give me a prize. Sometimes I know more about the area than they do. This turned out to be that second time.

She frowned. "No, nothing like that. This is a small place; there's just nothing like that around here."

"Okay. Thanks for trying."

I walked outside. It was a nice evening. I walked down to the overpass; Interstate 80 ran right over the highway, very near the hotel. No sign of Blondie Bigfoot, though. I walked back the other way, past the hotel and to a nearby swamp to the north.

I looked around. No prints or hair samples, but I noticed that everything was dry and light brown. This could explain about the tan Bigfoot, or whatever people were reporting: A light-colored creature would camouflage in this terrain better than a dark one.

When I got back to the hotel room, Paul was sitting on the bed with his cell phone. He said,"I'm sending a message to Rosie and Butters."

"They'll like that," I said.

He dialed the house number and waited until the machine picked up. Then he said,"Hi, Rosie. Hi, Butters. How you guys doing? It's me, your best owner, AKA Paul. And I just want to send you a preppy message saying that I would rather be with you guys, but I have a dance competition, so I have to be here, and I miss you very much, and I can't wait to come home, because I would rather be in my bed at home, but I kinda have to stay here. So, bye!"

Dinner was the Mexican restaurant connected with the hotel. I looked over the menu and settled on the fiesta salad, which sounded healthy enough. Paul said,"There aren't any drinks on this menu."

"They're right here, on the front," I pointed out.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Okay if I order the kid a nonalcoholic margarita?" Tif asked.

"It's okay with me," I said.

"Any luck on your tan Bigfoot?" she asked me.

"Not really. We may still be too close to 80, though you can never tell. I did see why the local Bigfoot is light-colored; everything around here is dry and dead, which probably comes in waves as the area experiences droughts. So a light-colored Bigfoot, or whatever animal people are reporting, would camouflage better than a dark-colored one in this area, as opposed to, say, the middle of Cook Forest."

She looked at me. "Did you really just use weather studies to explain a Bigfoot?"

"I mean....You gotta have a general science background to really do it right."

Paul's strawberry margarita came. He sipped it, and smiled. "I like it!"

I was the first one up in the morning, which was usual when we traveled. Tif was asleep in a chair, and Paul was lying crossways on the bed. Paul rolls around in his sleep; the kid sleeps like he's running a marathon.

I walked down to the lobby to get a coffee. Drank a little while I sent Emily a message updating her. It always made me feel better to have someone back home to contact while I'm traveling. And Emily and I had gotten to be close friends; I was lucky to have her in my life.

I went out to the jeep to check on things; the trailer was down and ready, and the small stool we use for Tif to get in was in the back. Back inside, there was a dark-haired girl working the desk, and I asked her,"Do you know of any haunted spots around here, anything like that?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing I know of. I've never heard anything."
I sipped some coffee.

Sometimes it pays to check with the locals. Sometimes it doesn't.

"I got this, Dad. You can go," Paul said as we walked into the Scottish Rite building in New Castle. He immediately peeled off to join his friends.

"If you need me---" I called after him, and then dropped it because he was already out of range. He and his team, all dressed in their sparkly outfits, went running off wherever they go together.

Tif put her hand on my arm. "Let him go, Dad. He belongs to Team Edge now."

I saw Rachael, the owner of the dance studio, walking across the lobby, and I joined her. "Paul's here, so you know. He's been stressing out all week over his eye makeup."

She smiled. "Oh, he'll be fine."

"He's really thriving in dance class. He does soccer and basketball, too, but he seems to love dance the most."

"That's great," she said. "When the weather warms up, I'll be sure to bring the kids for a haunted tour."

"Think I might go and explore a haunted place right now, actually."

I walked outside and headed west. Two doors down from the Scottish Rite was the Foxfire Mansion, an 1890 building that as said to be haunted and built on a burial ground. I walked down to it, wearing my Rachael's Team Edge shirt and a green hoodie. Usually I'd be wearing my paranormal outfit, but I'd put on the shirt this time because of the competition. I'd done ghost-hunting in worse; last June it had been a light blue hospital gown once.

The mansion was even better than I'd expected. It was under repair, so some of the windows were boarded up, the front steps were cracked, and it was high up on a hill overlooking the city. 

I got out my EMF detector and walked around. It spiked in a couple of places. That was a good sign. I found a cold spot on the north side, and I checked that out for a while. I was a little dubious about the burial ground story; this far up on a hill wouldn't have been as likely. But the place seemed to be haunted. 

I found a spot that wasn't easily seen from the street, and got out a Plastic Man action figure. I could use that as a trigger object; this was about as close as I was going to come to a team-up with Plastic Man. I set an index card down, set the action figure on it, and traced around it with my pen. I could come back the next day and see if anything had disturbed it. Emily was going to love it.

"Dad, how do you get to the livestream for the competitions?" Paul asked, sitting on the hotel bed.

"What in our history together would make you think I'd know that?"

"I'll ask Mom. Can we go get a cup of tea in the lobby?" Paul asked. The kid loves hotels, but he's also easily bored. 

"Yeah, why not," I said. "Come on, let's walk on down and see if there's still any left."

We walked down the hall to the lobby. Paul made himself a cup of tea from the hot water there. There was a third employee working the desk this time, and I decided I had nothing to lose by rolling the dice again.

"Excuse me," I said. Paul watched calmly; he's seen all this before. "Do you know of any haunted places around here?"

"Well, this hotel is haunted," she said. "We get stuff happening here all the time."

Paul turned to me. "Can we take a walk and check?"

"We can. I usually have some equipment on me. The hotel does have kind of a Shining vibe."

We gathered up a couple of my EMF detectors and walked the halls. Paul was a little ahead of me---Probably looking for possible vending machines---And he heard my detector go off. He turned around.

"Was that?"
"A reading? Yeah. We got some EMFs in this area. Looks like the hotel might be haunted, after all."

It was pouring out the next day when I walked out of the Scottish Rite. I had an hour before Paul was on, so I walked down to the Foxfire Mansion again. On the corner, high up on the hill, I looked around.

An 1890 mansion. I checked with the EMF detector as I walked around to the back.

Plastic Man was still there, but he'd moved about an inch from where he'd been the day before. I took some more readings; this was good. The place was very likely haunted.

I walked back to the Scottish Rite, and met the other dads backstage. I'd volunteered to help move props around for the act, so I wound up shoving some stuff around the stage before the kids came on. And then the dance began, with the kids in their shiny costumes coming out....My son among them.

"Who's that girl....Watch that scene....Digging the dancing queen."

Paul lit up the stage. He was out there, dancing with his team, having a great time. And this....This was his part of the story. His much more than mine.

It was still raining afterward, when we went out to the car. Paul had changed from his costume into a new T-shirt advertising the dance competition. I said,"You did great, little man."

"Thanks," said Paul. 

Tif parked her chair and began walking toward the car door. She said,"Paul, you did great. I was really happy to see it. That was wonderful."
"Thanks," said Paul. "Where can we go eat?"

I rolled Tif's wheelchair up onto the trailer, and strapped it down. Tif was standing by the passenger side door.

"Where's the stool?" she asked.

I looked in the back, where the stool usually was. I began digging through the luggage. "I don't see it."

"Did we leave it in the parking lot of the hotel when I got in? Drive off and forget it?"
"Shit," I said with feeling.

"Did we really drive away and leave the stool sitting in a parking lot?" Michelle asked.

"I mean, I want to say no, but....It's not entirely implausible. We have to go back that way to get on 80; let's drive over and see if anyone found it. Either it'll be there or it won't. It's been six hours, but maybe we'll get lucky."

"If we can't find it," said Michelle,"We'll just have to buy a new one."

"I can get into the car if you help," said Tif.

We drove back up toward the hotel. As we pulled across the highway and into the lot, I said,"I see it!"

"You do not," said Michelle.

"No, I really---"

"Oh my god, there it is!" said Tif.

We all began laughing. The stool was sitting there, right where we'd left it six hours ago. Nobody had even noticed it there, the whole day.

I got out of the jeep, held up the stool triumphantly, and then put it in the back. I got back in the jeep, beside Paul, and we headed home. Michelle drove us up onto Interstate 80 going east.

I looked over at my son.

"Proud of you, little man," I said.

Paul smiled.

"Thanks, Dad."

Dance Dance Apparition: Part One

"Paul has his dance competitions coming up," I said. "It runs for like four straight weeks. We have weekends in Lancaster, New Castle, and the Lancaster again. Thanks for printing out the maps and schedules."

I was making notepads for a Sugar Valley store. Emily was hanging out with me in my work area, and we were talking, as we often do.

"No problem, Lou," she said. "Glad to help out."

"Well, you can help out a bit more," I said. "I'll probably be sending you a few messages while I'm there. You're under no obligation to respond, or keep an eye on your phone, or whatever. But I like to feel like I'm connected; like there's someone at home to message."

She nodded. "That's understandable."

"So you're my lifeline, Em."

Emily grinned. "Happy to be your lifeline, Lou."

"If I get a chance, I'm gonna get out exploring," I said. "Lancaster is America's oldest inland city; there's gotta be a few ghosts. I found a legend of a ghost stagecoach that rides through there, and a walking statue in a cemetery. And my friend Kevin sent me an article about a water cryptid down there, and I might look into that."
"Yeah, I printed the article out for you."

"Yeah, thanks for that, too."

"You're a good dad," she said. "I can't imagine Lou without Paul."

I smiled.

"I was there at the time," I said,"And I can't, either."

When we got to the apartment in Lancaster, Paul did what he usually does---Inspected the place thoroughly, checking for traps, cameras, and secret doors. I don't know where he gets this stuff.

"This is nice," commented Michelle.

"Nicer than our place," I agreed. 

She looked in the kitchen. "They have a sign up saying not to drink the water."

"I wonder why."

"I don't know. They have jugs in the fridge that we can use for drinking."

"Probably something like my dad's place," I said,"Where there's a lot of sulphur in the ground and you can taste it in the water."

"Your dad has well water."

"My dad has not-so-well water."

I walked around a bit. The apartment was set up in a way that you could walk all the way around in a square, with the living room, kitchen, and bedroom along the route. There was a big bookshelf in one corner, and I looked it over. It seemed to be mainly religious and Republican works, which I wasn't so interested in. One book caught my eye, and I removed it to look it over.

It was a small paperback spell book. It looked like it had been left by a previous tenant. Black cover, white title: Der Langer Verborgener Freund. Written by a man who'd lived in Lancaster. Inside was a bunch of spells for health, luck, crime prevention, and so on.

Paul rounded the corner and came in. "When do we eat? I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"I'm growing."

"We can go now, and hit the buffet. I could eat something, too."

"So, you enjoying the buffet, little man?" I asked.

"Bet!" Paul said enthusiastically. "I love this! I'm going to go back for ten more plates!"

Paul loved the buffet; he went back for several slices of pizza and some hamburgers. He'd also managed about $3.50 worth of dessert items. I enjoyed it myself; I started with a salad and then moved on to the steak and seafood. Doesn't take me too long to get my money's worth.

The waitress stopped and looked at my shirt. "Are you really a paranormal investigator?" she asked.

I had the black shirt that said "Paranormal Investigator" on it. I looked down at myself for a moment. "I really am."
"No way!"

"Oh, sure." I gave her one of my cards. "Mostly up around Clinton County, but we're in town for a dance competition."

"That's so cool! There's plenty of haunted places around here. Have you heard about the cemetery?"

"I have; gonna try that if I get a chance."

"That's neat. I hope you find something." She moved off to gather plates.

I said to Michelle,"I forgot I was wearing this one."

Paul's first dance was "Respect." We had to get up way too early in the morning to get him to the hotel, which was the largest hotel I'd ever seen. After a while, we figured out where his dressing room was, and at his insistence, I left him there. A little while later, his friends from the team showed up, and he gathered with them.

I watched them run around the lobby and the ballrooms for a while, in the company of two of the moms. One of them looked into the crowd of kids, and said,"There's mine. I can spot the red hair."

"Yeah," I said,"Paul stands out in a crowd, too."

The other mom said,"Mine looks exactly like all the rest of them."

"Don't worry. As long as she stays with the other two, she'll be fine."

We watched the kids until it was time to go on. They got up onstage, and did their dance.

Paul's team. His people; the ones he was happy with. This was his thing. I had Millie, Ashlin, and Tim, and he had his dance group. They finished their dance and left the stage.

The announcer came out to give out the awards. 

"Second place....Team Edge! Respect!"

Paul walked up to receive the award.

That's my boy.

One thing about dance competitions; they wear the kid out. After the dance, we went back to the apartment and he collapsed on the couch for a while.

I went to the bedroom and changed into my LHPS uniform. I put on one of my vests---The travel model with the logo on it---And slung a pouch of equipment over my shoulder. I sent a message to Emily letting her know how things were going, and told Michelle,"I'm gonna go out for a walk."

"Have fun." Michelle was concentrating on a game on her cell phone.

I went outside. I wanted to get a water sample from Mill Creek, and check on the Sea Dog, the water cryptid from 1885. The Sea Dog had been spotted in the Susquehanna, but Mill Creek came off of the Susquehanna, so it was all the same water.

The creek was closer than I'd expected. I walked down a fairly steep slope, across the lawn, and was there. I walked around for a while, looking for a good place to go down and get some water. I found a short slope where I could walk down and collect some, and I got a sample container out of my bag, walked down, and dipped some water out.

I climbed back up to the grass, and there were geese.

Goddamn it. Geese. I'd dealt with these bastards before, showing up to bully me when I tried to get a water sample. There were several of them, all coming toward me and acting all badass.

I turned and ran. There was no way I was going to take on a bunch of geese in hand-to-hand combat. They chased me across the grass. I stopped and lifted the corners of my vest, making myself look bigger and more threatening. They weren't really intimidated. I ran back up the hill, and they decided I wasn't worth the trouble.

When I got back to the patio, Paul was waiting there. "They have a sign up that you're not supposed to go down there, I think," he said.

"Also some vicious guard geese. Let's not tell your mother. Want to help me run a litmus test on this water sample?"
"Sure."

We walked inside and dipped a piece of litmus paper in the water. "Seven," said Paul.

"You guys should test the faucet water," said Michelle. "See why we can't drink it."

"That's not a bad idea," I admitted. We tried the faucet water, and the paper immediately turned a deep green.

"That looks like a nine," commented Paul.

"It wouldn't support much life," I said. "Too acidic. No wonder we can't drink it; we'd be better off just sucking water out of the creek."

"Are you guys hungry?" Michelle asked. "I know you wanted to check out that place where they're having the cryptid festival in June, and there was that cemetery...."

"Lancaster Cemetery," I said. "We can check that out before dinner."

"Her name was Augusta Bitner," I said. "There are a couple of different stories, but they all seem to involve her dying in some sort of accident or illness while she was engaged. She was buried in Lancaster Cemetery, with a statue of her there. According to the stories, the statue comes to life and walks around at night."

"Do I have to not blink?" Michelle asked.

"I think it's not until sundown. Turn here."

Lancaster Cemetery is nice. Not the most elaborate I've ever seen, but pretty. It's not Erie Cemetery, but it's not Stech-Simcox, either. We stopped at a roundabout in the cemetery.

"I think it's that way," I said. "North."

"That's just a grass path," said Michelle. "I don't want to drive down there."

"I'll walk it, and check it out."

I could see the statue as I approached from a distance; it was easy to find and only about fifty feet away. I pulled out my EMF detector and checked---No readings at all. I stopped at the statue, looking it over. It was a girl, about six feet tall, with a pillar next to her. It had her name, the dates of birth and death, and a phrase: "Could love have kept her?"

There was a small pile of coins on the base of the statue, probably a couple of dollars. A couple of other trinkets---Keychains, a plastic coin, a small plastic heart. I dropped a penny on the pile.

I waved toward the jeep, trying to signal Paul and Michelle. Nothing. I waved both arms over my head, and nothing continued to happen. Probably both staring at their goddamn cell phones. I walked back to the van and opened the door.

"I found it," I said. Both of them were looking at their phones. "You want to see it?"

"I'll wait here," said Paul. "I'm wearing shorts, and it's cold out."

"I'll come," said Michelle.

So we walked back to the statue.

"Is it really haunted?" Michelle asked.

"Probably not," I said. "I'm not getting any readings. But this thing gets lots of attention." I pointed to the pile of coins and trinkets. "This is probably within the past week; I'm betting the cemetery association clears this up all the time. So people come to visit, and they tell stories. And it's because of that."

I pointed to the phrase: "Could love have kept her?"

"That's dramatic," I said. "It's memorable, and it suggests a story. People see that and want to talk about it. She died in 1906. That phrase, right there, is exactly what's kept the legends going for the last century or so. That's what makes people tell stories about the statue."

"Getting late, little guy," I said to Paul. "You have another big day tomorrow. Time to finish your tea and get to bed."

He nodded. He was sitting at the counter, drinking a cup of tea I'd made him and watching videos on his cell phone. "I like a little noise," he said. "It helps me sleep."

"Not sure that's how I've always experienced it," I said,"But okay." I sat down with him. "You did good today, buddy. Your whole team did."

"I like competition dance," he said. "I'm glad I signed up for it. I really like it."

I smiled.

"I'm glad," I said. "You do seem to be getting a lot out of it."
"It's fun," he said. "Doing all this stuff with Team Edge."

I nodded. I know how it goes, being part of a team. I have Millie, Tim, and Ashlin; Paul has Willow, Josie, Juliet, Tall Addie, Short Addie, Lili, Sophia, and all the others whose names I don't bother to memorize. 

He thrives in dance class; since signing him up during COVID, I'd seen him come a long way. He'd really grown into it. I had my things. This was his.

"I'm proud of you, buddy," I said. "That's my boy."