All I Want For Christmas Is Lou: The 2021 Christmas Special

The coffee table was covered with candles, the Christmas tree was decorated, and and the snacks were out. Millie had really gone all out for the holidays.

The last time LHPS had gathered for our Christmas event, it was pre-pandemic and had ended up with two members quitting the team. We were hoping for a better time this year.

"Guys, this is Heather," I said. "I invited her along because I think she'll be a good member of the team. I know it's the Christmas meeting, but we're so desperate for people, I didn't want to delay it."

"Hi, Heather," said Millie. "We really need new members. Welcome."

Heather, a middle-aged mom with blue hair, smiled at us. "I'm excited," she said. "My sister-in-law is jealous I got invited. She's really into stuff like this."

"This year, I made a record-setting amount of money on the tours," I said. "I've been asked to do a slightly different round for Christmas, so I came up with a program involving a tour of the library, a lesson on paranormal investigation, and then an actual investigation of the library. If I can get seventeen people to attend, I'll have broken a thousand dollars in fundraising for the year. You guys are welcome to come if you'd like."

"I'd love to," said SaraLee. "I didn't get a chance to make your October tours this year."

"I know; I kind of missed you."

"I'd like to be there," said Heather. "I can bring my son."

"I'll reserve you two spots. I'm training my kid to investigate."

"Great."

"Now, I believe we have a gift exchange?" I dug into my bag. "By the way, I got all of you something---I had to guess at the sizes." I handed them small, black rings.

"Nice rings," SaraLee said, trying hers on.

"They take your temperature," I explained.

Millie turned hers over. "Really?" She sounded fairly impressed.

"Well, only in the metric system, but still. You'll see it start around twenty-seven and then creep up until it hits about thirty-six."

"Neat," said Heather, looking at hers.

"I thought we could use them on investigations," I said.

"Where there's a cold spot," said SaraLee. "I like it."

A couple of years ago, the Boss moved my desk so that people knew where to find me. I have never entirely forgiven her for that.

"You're the history expert, aren't you?" the woman asked, approaching my desk. "I have a question. I did my genealogy on a software that's not in use anymore. How can I upgrade it to something new so I can view it?"

"This is why I do all my research on paper," I said. "Been around thousands of years, and it still works."

"Well, I wanted to put it on something digital that works with my new computer," she said. "How can I do that? Do I call the Mormon church? Don't they do genealogy?"

"Well, yes, they do genealogy, but this is more of a tech question than a history question. I'd take it to the techology place downtown and see if they can upgrade it for you."

"You don't think the Mormons would help?"

"Well, they've never helped me any."

As she left, Tammy called out of her office to me. "How's the ghost tours coming?"

"Got three people signed up. Fourteen more, and I've broken a thousand dollars in fundraising for the year."

"Lou," Zach called from the desk. "Phone for you. Your wife."
I was in the middle of processing books. "Thanks, Zach," I called, and picked up the phone. "What's up?"
"We have to pick up Tif," said Michelle. "She's in the Altoona train station. She left on vacation this morning, but there was an accident with her eye and she's losing her vision. Do you want us to pick you up?"
"Yes. Wait, no. I'll meet you at the house."

"We're on our way."

I hung up and stepped into Tammy's office. "Tammy, my daughter had a medical emergency. I'm sorry, but I gotta go."

"Okay. Go. Oh, are you on desk?"

"Yes, at three."

"Go," called Zach. "I got this."

"Thanks, man," I said, and ran for my bike.

Altoona is somewhat over an hour away. I walked into the emergency room a little after six, and it was insane---COVID overflow had pushed some patients into the halls. I found Tif with some difficulty, lying on a gurney outside an office.

"Daddy!" she said.

"Hi, hon," I said. I sat down on a chair. "Talk to me."

"They have to send me to Pittsburgh," she said. "They need a specialist and they can't do the surgery here. They're calling an ambulance to take me."

"Okay. What do you need?"
'Could use a hug."

I hugged her.

"Thanks for coming all this way, Daddy. I'm sorry."

"You haven't done anything wrong. We'll have to get you from Pittsburgh once this is done---We have to go home tonight and take care of Rosie."

"Yeah, I know. I'll call."

"Update us with what's going on. Let us know where we can find you."
"Any chance you can get me something to eat? I'm starved."

"Maybe I can find a vending machine someplace."

There was an old guy with a beard on the next gurney back. He said,"There's a little cafeteria down the hall past the elevators."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll bring you a sandwich or something, hon."

"You know what I like."
"Hey," I said. "It's gonna be okay."

We got the call at 6:48 the next morning. I rolled out of bed to answer the phone, and half an hour later we were on the road, heading to get Tif in Pittsburgh.

"I hope it snows for Christmas," Paul said.

"It might," I said. "We'll see."

"The weather says it'll be hot."

"Oh." I'd had no idea he knew how to check the weather report. "Well, you never know, kid."

"Is Santa real?" Paul asked from the back of the car.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I've been wondering if Santa is real or not," Paul said. "We look for aliens and Yetis and stuff that's maybe real, and I was wondering about Santa."

"Hmm. Well, what do you think?"

"I want to know what you think."

I considered it. My parents had spilled their guts about Santa when I was about six, the very first time I'd ever questioned it. I'd been prepared to do the same thing with Paul, more or less.

But is this really how I want it to happen for him? When he looks back on this in the future, is this what I want him to remember? Finding out just before Christmas, on the way to pick up his sister from a traumatic injury?

"I think he's probably real," I said.

Paul nodded. 

"Me too."

Paul and I brought Tif into her apartment as her cat meowed at her arrival. She sat down in her recliner.

"I'll run and get you some groceries," I said. 
"Can I stay here until you come back?" Paul asked.

"That's actually a pretty good idea," I admitted. "You help your sister. I'll be right back with some food."

"Dad?" Tif said.

I stopped at the door and turned around.

"Thanks for coming to get me," she said.

"Hey," I said. "It's family."

Back to work. When my predecessor had trained me, she'd told me that the first thing she did every day was check her e-mail. I have yet to have a day that organized, but I usually got around to it sometime within the first hour or so. After the e-mail, I went back to see if Tracey had anything for me.

"How's the fundraiser coming?" she asked.

"I have space for thirty people," I said. "If I get seventeen, at ten dollars each, I break a thousand dollars for the year."
"Why is it you can only do math when you're talking about ghosts?"

"So seventeen people is my goal."

"How many do you have signed up?"

"Six. But I just got a couple of e-mails---People deciding on the spur of the moment to come without registering."

"So people aren't bothering to read the ads. But you're making money."

"I know," I said. "It's a Christmas miracle."

I walked down the stairs and to the main desk area. Jim and Mel were finishing closing down.

"Everything locked on the third floor?" Mel asked.

"It was a couple of hours ago when I was up there," I said. "I haven't been up in a while."

"Oh. I'll check. I thought you were up there."

"Nope, did our lesson in the Sloan Room, and then investigated the old bedroom upstairs. We got some evidence---Some sounds and a ten-degree temperature drop."

"Ten degrees is a lot," commented Jim.

"Yep. Not a bad opening night."

"....So that's the basics of ghost hunting," I said, standing in the Sloan Room in front of five people. "Does anyone have any questions?"

Heather's son raised his hand. "How come you're wearing those gloves?"

I glanced down at the fingerless gloves with skulls on them, which I'd put on along with my black ghost sweatshirt. "Well, they protect my hands but I can still use my equipment. I used to wear a whole tactical vest and everything for investigations, but I realized it looked an awful lot like those terrorists on January sixth. Anything else?"

I looked around the table. "Okay, then, We're going to move down the hall and investigate, using the techniques I've taught you. I'd also like to introduce my new teammate, Heather, who is in training tonight."

Heather smiled.

We walked down the hall to the old bedroom. I said,"Everyone thought to be haunting the Ross Library has lived in this room. It was the bedroom of Annie Halenbake Ross, Mary Elizabeth Crocker, Robert Bridgens, and Isabel Welch. I'm going to start taking photos---You guys get some readings with the thermometers and EMF detectors."

We spread out through the room---It had been the boss's old office before she'd moved downstairs. In the old days, it had been the bedroom in the old house. I got photos from several angles while the others checked the readings on their equipment.

"I have a temperature drop over here," reported Heather.

"I'm getting a reading here, in the corner," said Heather's son. "It went up to yellow."

"Okay. Check that. I'm getting photos. Guys, get a temperature baseline over here. I'll start the recording." I turned on my digital recorder. "Recording. December twenty-second, seven sixteen PM, second floor bedroom of the Ross Library. Is there anyone here?"

We moved through the room, getting readings. Then we settled into some of the chairs to do some recording. I sat by the fireplace, monitoring the digital recorder.

"Can you tell us your name?....Did you live in this house?"

"Where do you get all this stuff from?" Heather asked.

"Mostly Amazon," I said. "I shouldn't be allowed to own a credit card and an Amazon account."

"Can you send me links?" she asked.

"Sure. I'd recommend just buying it all at once. You're gonna wind up owning it all anyway; you might as well get it over with."

"Lou," said one woman,"What do you think of other creatures? Didn't you write an article on werewolves a while ago?"

"Over in Northumberland County? Yeah, I did that one. I have some plans to go investigate them this summer, actually. Did a piece on the grave of a vampire up in Erie once, too."

"We got a spike on the electricity," announced Heather's son. "As soon as you mentioned vampires."

"Are you afraid of vampires?" Heather asked the room at large.

"You know, Annie Halenbake Ross was a fan of classic literature," I said. "It's a fair bet she read Dracula at some point."

"That's true," commented Heather.

"Thank you all for donating to the Ross Library," I said. "I appreciate your being here. We're getting a lot of activity tonight."

I walked Heather down to the lobby. "Gotta close up soon," I said. "Thanks for coming."

She smiled. "It was great," she said. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Welcome to LHPS," I said. "Merry Christmas, Heather."

Afterward, I walked through the dark library, hands in my pockets. I did this every once in a while, walked through this place that had become home, looking at it as if it were the first time.

For too long, we've been letting the inconsiderate and cruel people dictate the terms. We've worn masks and been vaccinated while they refuse. My child has been out of school while others spread the virus.

And I've changed my outfit to a less professional, less convenient one to avoid being seen as one of them.

For a year and a half, I haven't been myself. I've been letting the bad guys call the shots. But I've run out of patience for that.

I looked at my reflection in the window.

It's time to take my look back.

Outside, in the alley, it has started to snow. It was about an inch deep already.

I smiled.

Well, how about that.

The next night was Christmas Eve. Paul had been running around all day, tailed by Rosie, getting things ready for Santa. We'd shuffled him off to Tif's place to watch a movie earlier, for the purpose of getting all his gifts wrapped. He was now in the living room, watching a Christmas movie while he wrote another note to Santa.

"Hey, kiddo," I said. "Got your Christmas Eve present. Here."

"No," he said breathlessly. "It can't be." He opened the little box, and slid out a new pocketknife. Bright red, like mine, but smaller. "I don't believe it!"

He hugged me. I said,"Be careful with it, little man, but it's time we upgraded you."

"Thank you, Daddy," he said.

I smiled at my son.

"Merry Christmas, little man."