Merry Cryptid: The 2022 Christmas Special

The puppy bounced around in the grass while I strapped the trees on the car. He was a tiny Mini-Goldendoodle, a couple of months old. My brother sat on the grass, watching with some amusement.

"He's funny as hell," commented Jon.

Paul, holding the puppy's leash, said,"We just got him. Rosie wanted a friend. His name is Butters."

"Good name." Jon glanced at me getting the second tree strapped down. "Two trees this year."

"I've been working with a local charity. For some reason they elected me vice-president a while back. I promised them a tree for their building."

"That's cool," he said. It was our annual Christmas trip to the farm. Paul always enjoyed going to visit, and Butters seemed to be having a good time with it, too. I was having a bit of a slower time since Resurrection Casey had graduated and left, but it was good to see the farm.

"Butters likes this," said Paul.

Jon nodded. "You want to bring him out here in the summer? You guys can work for me."

"Yeah!" said Paul. "How much?"

My teammates Tami and her wife Bre were having an ugly sweater party, and my family was invited. I have an ugly Christmas sweater that puts all the other sweaters to shame. It shows a blinged-out Santa in sunglasses carrying presents, and has a front pocket that perfectly fits a can of beer, if you want one on Christmas morning. I was wearing it as we walked into the house.

I gave Tami a hug. "Make the Yuletide gay," I said.

"Thanks for coming."

'Thanks for inviting us. Michelle made buffalo dip."

"Want a drink?" Bre offered.

"I'd hate myself if I didn't try one of your Grinch drinks," I said. "Let's go with that."

"We had the sound of the exterior door opening and closing the other morning," said Tami. "I thought it was the kid leaving for work, but as it turns out, they were still here."

I grinned. "We'll have to investigate. I just treated myself to a new thermal imager for Christmas, and I've been looking for an excuse to try it out."

"Oh, cool! What does that do?"

"It shows heat sources, sort of like infrared. I'll bring it to the next meeting and show you. It's really pretty cool, and I think it can be used for all sorts of applications---Ghosts, UFOs, cryptids."

"All the cool stuff."

"It can be used to check the insulation in your house, too," added Bre.

Tammy and I looked at each other. It's hard to be married to a non-investigator. "I mean, if you want to be all practical about it," I admitted. "But I'm not gonna pretend that's why I bought it."

I used to hate being in classes, and as an adult, I've been kind of glad those days are behind me. Then technology came along and fucked that all up, too. I was sitting in the kitchen, taking a required class on my laptop, when Paul and his little friend Serena came in, followed by Rosie and Butters.

Serena is in Paul's grade, but is tiny by comparison. She'd moved in next door in October, and ever since it had been a near-constant run on playdates and sleepovers. Both were in their pajamas tonight.

"Serena wants to know if we can teach her to ghost hunt," said Paul.

I smiled. "You're into that?"

Serena nodded. "I think that's really cool."
"Why not?" I said. "Let me get my stuff."

I pulled my tactical vest out of my office and put it on. Paul got into his. Serena said,"You guys really wear those?"

"When we're hunting ghosts, yeah. They're good for keeping all my stuff in the pockets. This is the laser thermometer, and this is the EMF detector. What we do is to find different readings, and then check to make sure it's nothing explainable."

"You guys have a ghost here, don't you?"

I nodded. "Ida Yost. She was seventeen when she died on our back porch."

"That's so cool. I wish my house was haunted."

"Okay, Paul," I said,"You want to show Serena how to do an EMF session?"

So there I was, eating lunch in a closet.

Lately I'd been doing that kind of thing. Not really in the mood to risk doing something extreme like socializing with my co-workers, I'd been slipping off on my lunch break to some of the most remote and unfindable places in the building. I knew them all---Hidden staircases, crawl spaces, and unused offices. Today I'd chosen the second-floor closet in the old part of the building, which I was also using to stash some of my program materials. So I sat among the art supplies, yarn, and a stuffed lion I'd saved for some reason, eating my sandwich and pickle, reading Salem's Lot.

When I was done and went back downstairs, a message was waiting on my computer. A woman who'd been on one of my tours a couple of years ago. I read it, and then considered.

When Chris came in a few minutes later, I was up to my elbows in old maps and cemetery books.

"Don't let me interrupt," he said.

"You know how it goes," I said. "Got a possible Wendigo sighting."

"Wendigo....Refresh me."

"The Wendigos were believed to be cryptids, more or less, by the Native American tribes of the north. They were thought to be created by very cold winters, when someone had to commit cannibalism to survive."

"Really cheerful career you got there."

"Well, it's one of those things where they were seeing something, cryptid or not, but their interpretation was colored by their fears. Like the Jersey Devil. These legends come from Maine, Michigan, Wisconsin, where even in the good winters you were at risk of having to eat somebody."

"And somebody saw one of these locally?"

"A couple saw one while they were staying in a cabin at Pine Creek."

"And you're not concerned you might get eaten?"

"My bloodstream is basically coffee. I can't imagine I'm part of a healthy diet. Thing is, Wendigo or not, they saw something. I gotta figure out what."

"You ever deal with a Wendigo before?"

"A few years ago, in Chicago, I got a bit of a crash course, but I wound up investigating ghosts and stuff instead. I've known about Wendigos, but never had an investigation. I've always wanted one."

"It's a Christmas miracle," said Chris.

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon when the phone rang. It was Tif.

"Hey, Dad, the staff down here wants to know if they should cut the bottom off the tree stump before they put it up."

"Yeah, at this point they probably should," I said. "About half an inch will do; doesn't have to be too much."

"I'll tell them. Thanks."

Five minutes later, the phone rang again. 

"Dad, the staff can't find a saw. They want to know if you can cut it for them."

"Tell them I'll be down in ten minutes."

A little while later, I pulled up in front of the building with my bow saw. I buzzed in, and Lacey led me to the backyard, where the tree was propped. She said,"Sorry to bring you all the way down here in the rain."

"It was a pretty slow day anyway, until this. You know you guys don't have to make my daughter call me; any of you can ask me for help."

Lacey grinned. "We figured she knew the number."

I took a few minutes and got a pretty good cut in the stump, then carried the tree into the building. "Where do you want this?"

"Up front," she said. "Let's put it in the office. You want to stick around for our potluck lunch?"

"I don't want to take your food, but I'll hang out with you guys for a while," I said. "I'll tell you all about my Wendigo investigation."

It was twenty-one degrees when I put the kids on the school bus, and not warming up much. I had my heaviest coat on, the one I kept around in case of a Yeti attack. Paul nd I had been taking Serena down to the bus stop since she'd moved in, saving her mother a step each morning. Serena's mom was just coming out her door as I walked past on the sidewalk.

"Hi," I said.

"Oh, hi," she said. "Hey, since you're here, I wanted to ask you something. Are you guys going to the Santa shopping at the school tonight?"
"Oh, yeah, I was just talking to my wife about that. We're taking Paul."

"Could Serena ride along with you? I want her to have the opportunity to buy presents, but I can't take the two little ones out that time of night."

"Oh, sure, I don't see why not," I said. "While we're at it, would you mind if we took a little ride afterward? I want to go over to Pine Creek."

"Oh, sure."

"This next part is where it gets weird....I'm investigating a cryptid sighting."

"Cryptid....?"

"Like Bigfoot or something."
"Oh, she'd love that. What time are you leaving?"

"About five-thirty."

"I'll have her ready."

"Guys, we've had a Wendigo sighting out this way," I said. "The Wendigo is a creature the Native Americans believed in, with big horns and glowing eyes. Someone out here thinks they saw one, so we're gonna check it out." I figured it was probably best if I left out the cannibalism details around the eight-year-olds.

The back of the car was filled with purchased Christmas gifts and two excited kids. There wasn't a lot more space in the front, where I had my backpack and my cryptozoology kit. I was wearing my gray ghost sweatshirt and my black adventure jacket.

"It's dark out here," observed Serena. "Do you always do this in the dark?"

"Not always," said Paul.

"We've hunted Bigfoot at high noon," I added.

"But sometimes in the dark?" she asked.

"Sometimes."

"Do you ever get hurt?"

"Well....It happens," I said, at the same time Paul said,"Yeah." I concluded,"But we try to avoid that."

Michelle turned and pulled into the foresty area off 44. She said,"You guys go. I'll wait in the car."

"Okay, guys," I said. I opened my car door and slung my crypto kit over my shoulder. "Take the night vision binoculars and the thermal imager, and check around the edges of the field."

The kids and I spread out across the snowy field. I'd taught them how to use the equipment, so I let them at it while I took some photos. Paul said,"Here's footprints!"

I knelt down and looked at them. "You know what these are? A rabbit."
"Really?"

"Yeah. You can see where he hopped around with his back and front feet. Good eye, though---I'd have missed them."

"There's different prints over here," said Serena.

I looked. "Now these, I can't identify. I'm going to take a photo to check them out later." I got out my pocketknife and laid it down beside the print. "See, what you do is to put something common, like my knife, down beside the print. That way you have a good sense of the size in the photo."

"Ah, I see," said Serena, interested.

"Allright, guys, we've checked enough, and it's cold," I said. "Let's get in the car."
"No!" Paul protested. "A few more minutes!"

"Okay," I said. "Since you're having fun. Few more minutes."

I walked over and leaned against the car.

Michelle rolled down the window. "Find any Wendigos?"
"In a manner of speaking," I said. "Work with me here. This was territory of the Seneca and the Susquehannocks, an Algonquin offshoot. They're the ones who believed in the Wendigo. Now, like the Thunderbird, they were likely seeing something. Whether it was an actual cryptid, or an animal that they mistook for one, they had reports of this thing. Now it's not impossible for some animal to follow Pine Creek down from the north. We have rabbit prints, and where there's prey, there's predators. So it's pretty likely my client saw something that's not supposed to be here---A large, unfamiliar animal, or an actual Wendigo."

Christmas dinner.

I sat at the table with Paul, Michelle, Tif, and Biz, while Butters and Rosie ran around on the floor, hoping something might drop. We'd exchanged presents---I'd gotten a couple of pairs of thermal socks, a bar of Bigfoot soap, and a new canteen. Good year.

"Got everything I wanted," I said. "Including a Wendigo investigation."

"Generally when people see a Wendigo, they don't see another one," said Biz. "Or much of anything else, either. Ever."

I grinned. "Well, you never know. There was a couple who saw something out there."

"But Bigfoot still eludes you," said Tif.

"Well," I said,"The new year's coming."