Homecoming

I was within walking distance of a historic cemetery, a haunted section of town, and several UFO sightings. And, for the moment, I didn't care about any of that.

"You're going to feel a little ouchie," the nurse said,"And then...."

She withdrew the needle. Paul look up at her, and then at me, surprised. 

"That's it?" he asked.

"That's it," the nurse confirmed. "You just got your first COVID vaccine. We'll need you to wait fifteen minutes in the waiting room, and you'll be back in two weeks for your second dose."

Paul turned to me.

"Can we get McDonald's?"

"Grandpa's house is bigger than I remember it," Paul said, looking out the car window as we drove up the road.

"Well, it's been two years since we've been here," I said.

Michelle turned the Prius into the driveway, and we parked. Truth was, it looked a little different to me, too. One of the many things COVID had taken away was two years' worth of visits home for me. Last year, we'd painted a ladder as a substitute Christmas tree. With Paul half-vaccinated, we'd now decided we could get away with a trip back to the tree farm I'd grown up on.

We got out of the car, and I released Rosie from the back. My brother was waiting in the barnyard.

I gave him a hug. "Hey, Jon."
"Glad you could make it back," he said.

Rosie barked at him, retreating several steps. Jon laughed. "Are you suspicious of me?"

"She takes a while to warm up to adults," I said.

"Hi, Uncle Jon!" Paul said. "Rosie wants to play with Miles!"

"Let me walk Rosie around a bit," I said. "And then we'll be in. So where's the best place to find a tree this year?"

"Go on down in the back, past the barn," Jon said. "And take a walk down to the creek. We've done some work down there."

I walked Rosie around the yard, and looked toward the back of the garage. Drawn on the back of the garage wall, in white chalk, were Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and a Yeti, clearly labeled in a scrawling handwriting. I could still remember the day I'd put them there.

Six years old. I chalked the Yeti on the wall to join Bigfoot and Nessie, scribbling their names next to them. "It's a museum," I explained to my brother. "I captured these monsters and put them in the museum for people to see."

"Did you ask Dad if you could draw on this wall?" my brother asked me.

"Um," I said. "Maybe he won't notice."

"Would you like some coffee?" my father asked, settling himself onto the kitchen chair.

"No, thanks, Dad," I said. "I'm good. But thanks."

He shook his head. "Staying in for a while. The older I get, the less I can handle the cold."

"Yeah, I get that," I said. "I have less tolerance for it myself. I'm getting older, too."

I walked through the house a while. It was the house I'd grown up in....But it wasn't. The bedrooms on the second floor had been converted into offices. The bathroom had been redecorated twice since I'd moved to Lock Haven. The upstairs hallway was in the process of being repainted.

Downstairs, my brother's wife Amy was bringing out a backpack full of gifts for Paul. She said,"These are....Well, I don't know how long. It's been a while."

"Yeah, COVID," I said. "We didn't want to risk spreading it in either direction. But now that we're vaccinated, we'll be able to get away with a few more visits."

"I love this backpack!" Paul said.

"We can make that into a go bag for you," I said. "Like I have. Put some flashlights and stuff in it."
My brother appeared in the doorway. "We actually considered that," he said. "But I wasn't sure how you'd feel about giving the kid knives and lighters."

"I'm actually pretty okay with it," I said. "During our lockdown, I taught him a lot of survival skills. Gave him a Swiss Army knife for his birthday. He's learned to be pretty responsible."

"Colored pencils!" Paul said, delighted. "What's this?" He picked up a TV tray with Smurfs on it, and my name written carefully on it in my mother's handwriting.

"That used to be mine," I said. "I used that for homework and stuff when I was your age."
"It's Paul's now," said Amy.

"Well, I love it," said Paul. "I'm going to use it at home."

"I made a lot of plans on that when I was around your age," I said.

Seven years old. "I heard something," I said. "Let's check if there's a ghost in the closet."

"What if there is?" asked my cousin Jan. I pushed my way into the bedroom, followed by my cousins, Jan, Jim, and Pat.

"I'll find a way to catch it," I said. "Maybe I can make something out of the washing machine."

"Aren't we supposed to be in bed?" asked Jim.

"Well, yes," I admitted,"But we're the Ghost Gang. And we have to search if there's a ghost in the house."

"How about our house?" asked Jan.

"We'll do that next time," I said. "I'm working on a way to catch a ghost in a jar and freeze it."

"Thanks for getting together with me," I said to Resurrection Casey as we walked along the top of the ridge. 

"Thanks for giving me the chance, boss," she said. "Been too long."
I nodded. "How you been doing?"

"I'm holding up, I guess. Thought I might graduate this spring, but COVID messed that up. I'm vaccinated, though."

"Yeah, me too. Not due for a booster yet. But Paul's vaccinated now, which is a relief. We're considering sending him back to school in January."

Casey looked out over the fields. "You ever see Bigfoot out here as a kid?"

"Always hoped to. My dad made up a story about a cryptid called the Great Christmas Tree Goblin, kind of a green Bigfoot."

She nodded. "So, how are you holding up?"

"About as well as anyone. Which is to say, not great. I'm having some nightmares, and I've been about as stable as a Squonk. I read an article where people were crying in the shower, but I can't even do that because Paul and Rosie always come barging in there."

"You know, you ever need to talk...."

"I'll call. You, too."

"I know."

Michelle and I walked down the path, toward the creek. I looked off into the woods. Rosie was running around with us. Rosie sees no point in being very far away from her people.

"I had a fort over there," I said. "Built it when I was a kid. I thought it was a pretty good piece of construction. I started it myself one summer, and kept adding on, and Kline came to help out later on."
"Is this where you guys camped?"

"Sometimes," I said. "Down here in the meadow, a lot, in the summer. Up in the springhouse in the winter. Paul tells me I like nature better than he does."

"Well, maybe he'll grow into it."

We stopped by the creek, where my brother had constructed a stone bridge in a feat of engineering. I said,"We used to build dams down here a lot, and other stuff, from here all the way to the pond. It's grown up a lot more than it used to be. I had a thousand adventures in these woods."

Eleven years old. I took the hammer and whanged a nail into place on a large empty can, sort of compiling together the can, the nail, some metal mesh I'd found, and tied a rope around the whole thing. My father looked it over as he walked past.

"What're you constructing?" he asked.

"I am making," I declared,"A sea monster trap."

"I see. You're going to catch sea monsters with that?"

"Yep. See, the sea monster will swim in here, and get caught in this netting, and won't be able to get out."

"What are you going to do with the sea monster when you get him?"

"Keep it."

"Where are you going to launch your sea monster trap?" 

"In the pond," I said, naming the only body of water I had access to.

"I'm not sure there are any sea monsters in the pond," Dad said.

I picked up the trap. "Well, we're going to find out, aren't we?"

We pulled up on Hill Street, in lower Slatington. I said,"This here, Paul, is the Hundred Steps." There was a long, high set of concrete stairs running up the hill. "Every time you count them, you come up with a different number. I've been trying for years. People around here believe that if you ever count them and get to a hundred, you'll disappear."

"I don't want to disappear."

"Nobody ever gets to a hundred. You coming with me?"

"Do I have to wear shoes?"

"I suppose."

We got out of the car and headed up the steps. Paul counted aloud as we walked, and I counted silently. I could see him grinning as we walked all the way up to the top.

"Ninety," he said.

"I got ninety-three."

"Does it always do that?"

"Pretty much, ever since I was a kid."

"I had fun today," he said. "So did Rosie."

"Yeah," I said. "It's been too long since we visited. But now that we're all vaccinated....We can visit more."

Back in Lock Haven. I sat with Paul, who was happily drawing with his colored pencils, using the tray he'd been given while he watched TV. Rosie was curled up beside him, sleeping off her busy day.

"You know what my favorite present is, Daddy?" he asked.

"I'm going to guess the colored pencils."

"No. It's this tray. Because it's yours."

"Well, now it's yours, little man." I looked at my name on the tray in permanent marker. "My mother wrote that there when I was your age."

"Will you write my name on it?"

"Soon as I find a permanent marker, sure."

"That way," he said,"I'll give it to my kid one day. And I'll write their name on it, too."

SaraLee's Territory

It was a haunted hotel. Old, run-down, it looked dangerous to be in. I walked across the lawn and to the doors.

I'd been in it before, but more and more, I had this feeling of dread---Like I was pushing my luck. Every time I entered, it increased the danger, and one of these times, the hotel was going to kill me.

It felt like this was the time. This time I was going to die.

I opened the door. Inside, I could see furniture, broken and dirty. I looked through the door for a moment, feeling more and more afraid.

Then I stepped inside.

I woke up suddenly, sitting up in bed. I exhaled. 

Just a nightmare.

I got out of bed, wearing my Yeti pajamas. I walked down the hall to the bathroom. Little Rosie, the lab puppy, joined me on the trip, coming out of my son's room.

Standing in the hall for a moment, I fell into a habit Id' developed during COVID. I thought, Today is Thursday. I'm working at one. On desk at two. Program tonight. I'd begun rolling these thoughts around in my head whenever I woke up, as a way of keeping track.

Rosie followed me back down the hallway.

"Good girl. Now go back to bed."
Rosie retreated to Paul's room, and I went back to my own. I could hear Ida in the hall, disembodied footsteps walking back and forth. It was a relief to wake up in my own haunted house, with the ghost I'm used to.

"Excuse me. Are you Lou?"

"That's me." I looked up, with a sinking feeling. The guy at the desk was familiar, and I realized he was the same guy who'd been sending me messages all morning, trying to convince me that his phone app was reliable for ghost-hunting. I'd stopped responding; he wasn't about to be persuaded that it was a cheap toy.

Looks like he'd tracked me down.

"Yeah, I wanted to show you this app. It's actually really legitimate, I've checked it out. I was up in the cemetery, and it was giving me all sorts of statements. It works on a laser grid that can detect human shapes---"

I held up a hand. "Look, I know all about these apps. They're clearly labeled as entertainment only. I prefer not to trust them."

"But this one's really good. Look at the human shape I got---"

"They're made to interpret just about anything as a human shape," I said. "Fog. Branches. The same with the sounds---They are programmed to randomly create words. If you didn't find anything, you wouldn't pay for the app."

'It's free."

"You trying to tell me that someone invented an app that genuinely detects dead people, and decided the best use was to hand it out free?"

"I'd really like to check it out in here," he said. "I understand Miss Ross is haunting the place?"

I thought it over. "Well, it's a public library," I said. "As long as you're sticking to the public areas and not bothering anyone, you're welcome to come in and do whatever."

"I'd rather do it at night."

"We're open until eight."

"I was hoping for maybe a little more than that," he said. "Maybe you let me in overnight? Ghost hunter to ghost hunter?"

I shook my head. "Can't do that."

"Come on, man," he said. "Just because I use an app? We could be partners."

I shook my head again.

"I already have partners."

"What we need," I said,"Is an investigation."
I sat in the living room, Millie to my right, SaraLee to my left. Ashlin was across from me in the recliner. 

"What we need are a couple more members," said Millie.

"That's true," I agreed. "We need to find a couple of good people. But we're also out of practice. We need to get better at being a team again. For that matter, since it came up....Look, when Theresa left, we never really held a vote on the new leader. Everyone just kind of turned to me. I realize it was never officialized, so....I wanted to correct that. If anyone else wants to step up, I'm cool with that."

Millie shook her head. "You were second in command. It should be you."

"Agreed," said Ashlin.

"Am I hearing you right, Lou?" asked SaraLee. "You're finding it too much, or something?"

"No, I'm not. In fact, I haven't been great at at," I admitted. "I'll keep doing it if that's what we all want. I just realized that we never formalized it."

She smiled. "I'm right behind you."
"Okay, then. We need to get back to working as a team. I bought us all matching masks," I said. I handed everyone a mask; they all said "I'm with a ghost." "Now we need to find a way to practice."

"There's still my place," said SaraLee.

"I'm cool with that." I said. "Let's pick a date. We're going to Bellefonte."

Ashlin pulled up to pick me up on time, and Paul ran out to give her a hug. Paul has adored Ashlin since he was one year old. Ashlin hugged him, and said,"How you doing there, buddy?"

"Good," said Paul. "You and Daddy going to find a ghost tonight?"

"Hope so," said Ashlin.

"What time will you be home, Daddy?" he asked.

"Hopefully about eight-thirty."
"Okay."

I gave him a hug and a kiss, and he turned and trudged back toward the house, looking glum. I got into Ashlin's car.

"He gets upset when I have to leave," I said. "It bothers him when I'm not around."

"Probably a COVID thing," said Ashlin. "Anxiety."

"Yeah," I said. "Been feeling some anxiety myself."

We pulled up in front of SaraLee's house a little after six. The clocks had been set back the night before, so now it was getting dark in about two minutes every day at three-thirty. I was wearing my uniform and the black jacket with all the buttons, and I grabbed my pack and rang the doorbell.

SaraLee came to the door, and I gave her a hug. 

"Happy birthday, pal," I said, and handed her a book. She sat down on the couch and began paging through it.

"It's Mountain Folks," I said. "A bunch of good legends and stories from our area. I thought you might like it."

"Thank you," she said. "Got you something, too." She handed me a small Bigfoot coloring book---"That's for Paul," she said---A Bigfoot figurine and two UFO stickers.

"Got these in my travels," she said. "I thought of you."
I smiled. "Thanks, pal."

We all sat down in the living room.

"Calvin," called SaraLee. "Bring my stuff."

"Why?" called a voice from the next room.

"Because I asked you to."

A moment later, SaraLee's son Calvin came in with a hard plastic case. He set it down in front of her, and she opened it up. She had it filled with equipment, and she pulled each item out.

"REM pod," she said. "Digital recorder. Laser thermometer from my bestie....Light ball...."

"A light ball?" Millie asked. "Haven't heard of those."

"Well, it's a cat toy," admitted SaraLee. "But it lights up when anyone bumps it, and it comes in sets of twelve for about a buck."

"A trigger object," I realized. "But a trigger object that you'd notice when it happened. That's actually pretty brilliant."

She smiled.

I unpacked my stuff. "Got two cameras, two laser thermometers, digital recorder, my K2 meter...."

"You got a black one," Millie commented.

"Yeah, I just grabbed the cheapest one on Amazon. Who wants what?"

I began to pull my fingerless gloves on. The new ones had skulls on them. Ashlin said,"Those are new."

"Making a few changes to the outfit," I said. "I'm going a little goth. Skulls on the gloves and boots."

"Are you having a midlife crisis, Lou?" Millie asked.

"Almost certainly. But still making an effort not to look like a cop or a terrorist."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

I grinned.

"Let's get to work."

"We get activities in all the bedrooms," said SaraLee as we walked down the hall. "We can spread out and cover them all."

"Last time, we had someone in the hallway," I said. "I'll cover that."

"Master bedroom," called Ashlin.

Millie went into one of the kid bedrooms, and SaraLee and Calvin took the other. I set down my K2 meter and my digital recorder.

"Turning on. It's November 7, six forty-five PM, SaraLee's house in Bellefonte. Lou, in the hallway."

"Ashlin, master bedroom."
"SaraLee and Calvin, Chloe's bedroom."

"Millie, Calvin's room."

"Is there anyone here?" I asked.

We let the recorders run for a while---An actual EVP session is not the most exciting thing to describe---And then my recorder beeped. 

"What the hell?"

"What's up?" asked Ashlin.

"My recorder went dead. These were fresh batteries."

"Weird."

"I just charged these."

'I have a light in here," said Millie. "Green light, on the wall!"
"Get photos and readings," I called.

"The DVD player just went on in here," said SaraLee. 

"Cat ball is lighting up," Ashlin said. "I'm getting photos."
Camera flashes began going off. I called out,"Ashlin, do you have a good angle on Millie?"

"Not really. I can see the REM pod and the bed, but not much else."

"Okay, I'm getting photos. You concentrate on what you can see from there."

I moved down the hall and into the bedroom, where Millie was sitting on the bed with her EMF detector. She pointed at the wall. "Right there."

I snapped photos, turning throughout the room to get every angle. Then I moved throughout the hallway and back down into the other bedroom, where SaraLee and Calvin were taking measurements. I snapped some photos of the DVD player, which had turned off again.

"Everything all at once," I said. "That's pretty impressive."

"The DVD player just came on, and then off again."
"Mark it on the recorders," I said. "Seven-ten PM. We got this."

After the investigation, we packed up. I gave SaraLee a hug. 

"Thanks, pal," I said. "See you at the next meeting."

"Thanks for coming over," she said.

We went out and climbed into Ashlin's car. She pulled back out into the street.

"Good investigation," I said.

"Yeah," agreed Ashlin. "It was."

"Cat balls," I said. "Hunh."

When Ashlin pulled up in front of my place, Paul immediately came running off the porch to greet me. I gave him a hug.

"Tell me you weren't sitting out here in the cold all night."
"No, I just came out."

"Okay, good. How's Rosie?"

"She misses you."

I smiled.

"Well, I miss her, too," I said. "Let's go in and say hi."