Haunted America: Spirits of '76

There is nothing like a cookout. I sat with Lex, Jay, and Ashlin around our fire pit in the backyard, within view of the porch where Ida had killed herself in 1905. Paul was bouncing on the trampoline nearby. 

We'd decided to have a little post-birthday cookout together. We were roasting hot dogs, and Lex had brought her barbecue macaroni and cheese in a crock pot, for which I'd run an extension cord out the window. We'd been discussing some plans to investigate Gettysburg sometime.

"Just so everyone knows," I said,"I'm going on our annual camping trip next weekend. I'll be away from Friday to Monday. If anyone needs me, I'll be checking my cell phone."

"We'll miss you," Jay said immediately.

"I'll miss you guys, too," I said. "I'll keep you updated. The camp where we go is midway between Fort Freeland and Fort Augusta, so I'm assuming there may be some Revoluntionary War ghosts there."

"Gonna do some hunting while you're there?" asked Lex.

I nodded. "I usually find something cool to investigate when I'm away."

"I'm sorry, you can't check in early today," said the park ranger. "There's a tree down, and it took our power. We're working on getting it fixed. I'm sorry."
"Well, that's not your fault," I said. "We'll just kill a little time and come back."

Michelle and I walked out to the car. She asked,"Is there anything you wanted to do?"

"Kind of wanted to see Fort Augusta while I'm here," I said. "It's in Sunbury."

"Okay, what's the address?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I didn't think it was going to be this easy."

It took a little time, but we had plenty of that, and in a while, I was walking up to the front of Fort Augusta. Or at least, where it had stood. There was a museum and a replica of the fort there now, and I cruised around, taking some photos.

I got out my EMF detector and checked around. Nothing right away. I saw a small sign directing me to the old well from the actual fort, which struck me as interesting, so I walked over. It was amazing; a well that was two hundred and seventy years old, right here along Front Street. Not far behind it was the old powder magazine, and I got some EMF readings there. I took photos and walked back to the car.

"Did you see what you wanted to see?" asked Michelle.

I  nodded. "I got photos and a few readings; I'm happy. We can go see if the campsite's open yet."

"Can we get something to eat first?" asked Paul.

The camp was a Yogi Bear camp, which I'd never heard of until I married Michelle. They were very kid-friendly camps with lots of activities. All of which Paul and his little friend Amelia took one look at, and then decamped for the pool.

I got out some of the ghost-hunting equipment and decided to just test around randomly a bit. The cabin was a nice one, right along one of the main stretches, and there seemed to be a small family right next door.

"Nice shirt," the mom said to me.

"Oh. Thanks." It was the one with the ghost drinking coffee. "I'm a paranormal investigator."

"Oh, that's cool."

"You hunt ghosts?" asked the little boy.

"Yeah, I investigate ghosts, UFOs, monsters, all sorts of stuff."

"There's a ghost up by the bathrooms at the pool! I saw it making the door move!"
"Oh, yeah?" I smiled.

"I'm Lily," said the girl. "This is Max. He likes ghosts and stuff."

"That's cool. Me, too."
"He's always digging in our yard for buried treasure. I fall in the holes and trip."
"I'm told Indiana Jones's sister had the same problem. You guys are, what, six, seven?"

Lily looked impressed. "I'm seven and he's six. You're pretty good at that."

"I got a kid. Max, I'm gonna check up around the doors there later, and see what I can find." It occurred to me that I was talking about ghosts to two children who were about to sleep in the woods. "This place is right between two forts that were built about two hundred and fifty years ago."

"That's when America was started!" said Lily delightedly.

"You're right, it was. And I think any ghosts here might be soldiers, so they were probably pretty good guys."

"Not mean," said Lily.

"No, that's usually not what happens. Most ghosts are pretty cool. I'll let you guys know what I find, okay?"

It was my first lead, so after dinner, I walked up with the EMF detector and looked around. I walked down around the two ponds---The frog pond and the fish pond, though the frogs didn't seem to consider any one pond exclusively their territory. I stood pleasantly by the fish pond for a moment, then walked up to the area Max had described. And the EMF detector lit right up.

I was a little surprised. I checked for power lines, underground cables, engines. Nothing that stood out. In spurts, though, I was getting EMFs. 

I smiled. Max was going to love it.

I walked down to the other end of the park, and into the ranger station. A blue-haired short woman was working the counter; her name tag said MEGAN.

"Hey hey," she said. "How are you doing?"
"So far, so good. Got an odd question for you."
"Okay."

"Are there any interesting haunted stories around? Ghosts, Bigfoot sightings, anything like that?" Was a time I'd felt stupid asking things like that, but that was a long time in my past.

She grinned. "Have you heard of the Todd Sees case?"

"I have not."

She tapped the screen of her phone and handed it to me. I looked it over.

It detailed a missing person---Todd Sees of Northumberland County had disappeared in early August of 2002. A search party had failed to find him for over a day, until a helicopter had spotted his body from the air. His clothes and all his gear were missing. His body had been found in a very dense, hard to reach area under some power lines. Locals reported seeing UFOs near the power lines, which had led to some rumors of alien abductions. I read through it, fascinated.

"This is perfect," I said. "UFOs, a missing person, and it happened right around here on this very weekend twenty-two years ago? This is the perfect campfire story. Thank you, Megan. This is gold."

A bit later, I sat on the front porch of the cabin, and did what I like to do when I'm away from home. I called Chloe.

The kid had promised to pick up the phone when I called, unless she was driving---She'd recently gotten her permit. I tried to call her for information, though the truth is, I always like to have someone to talk to back home. It makes me feel a bit better. For the past year, I'd designated Chloe.

"Hey!" She sounded cheerful. "How are you doing?"

'Doing good. We're here and safe. No big rush, but I need you to look up something for me."

"Sure! You name it."

"Todd Sees. He's a big mystery around here, and I need you to find anything I may have missed. Whenever you get to it; don't drop everything, okay?"

"Won't be hard. I'll get that to you soon. Can I text this number?"

"Sure. It's my cell---It won't get photos or anything, but just words, sure."

"I'll have that to you soon."

"Thanks, Chloe. Love you."

"Love you too."

It took the kid less than an hour. My phone made a noise, and there it was, everything Chloe had dug up for me. And it was weird, allright.

Twenty-two years ago this weekend, Todd Sees had gone missing while out hunting. A search party of over two hundred people had failed to find any trace of him. Finally, a helicopter had seen his body in some brush under a power line, wearing only his underwear. No trace of the clothes had ever been found. The body was in a very hard to reach spot, among heavy brush.

Local fishermen and farmers had reported seeing lights in the sky near those same power lines, behaving strangely and causing the lines to spark. The FBI had jumped in at this point, oddly, taking the body for an autopsy and keeping it for eight weeks. No official cause of death was ever determined, and the FBI had finally blamed it on cocaine.

Chloe had included the report from the National UFO Reporting Center, with a little note saying she wasn't sure how accurate it was. I grinned. She was well aware of how hard I was on other investigators' standards, but NUFORC is actually pretty good.

Max walked by the porch. "I saw a shadow figure that wasn't from us," he told me.

I smiled. "I'll make sure to check that out, too. Thanks."

The sun was beginning to go down. I could, I supposed, do a little investigating. Or I could go inside the cabin and watch TV.

Ten minutes later, I was out in the woods north of camp wearing my shoulder bag. There were trails on the camp property, and I'd taken one of the loops. Then I'd slipped off onto another trail leading north, off amp property, until I'd gotten to somewhere near where Sees had disappeared.

Flashlight in one hand. EMF detector in the other. I turned it on and walked around. After a few passes, it lit up red and beeped. No power lines close enough to set it off, no batteries nearby. Could possibily be the ghost of Todd Sees.

And that had been the easier part. Next up, the UFOs.

Paul and Amelia were in the back room, building forts out of their bunks by hanging the sheets on the top bunks and threading glow sticks into the beds. I watched for a while, then went outside to the path.

I could see the power lines across the mountains in the distance, likely the same power lines where Sees was found. How the hell does that happen, anyway? How do you get lost near power lines, even on cocaine? You just follow them for a while, and they'll always lead to someplace. The more I thought about all this, the less sense it made.

I walked along the path toward the ponds, keeping an eye on the mountains. A few times, I pulled out my optical scope and looked out at the lines. Then I remembered to remove the goddamned lens cap. There were four towers up there, holding up the lines, with blinking red lights. I walked to the pool area, and back, judging the view.

And, in the end, the best place to look was from right on the front porch of the cabin.

I sat down with the scope, lifted it, and found out immediately that it was too dark and I couldn't see shit. So I put it away and watched without it.

The thing about UFOs is they're kind of hard to investigate. You can go to the site and check for clues, but when it happened two decades ago, there's not much point. I immediately did another step, which was to send Chloe a message asking her to find out where all the airports and hospitals were---That might explain unusual lights in the sky. Back in 2002, drones weren't a consideration. So I settled in to do the next step  could think of---Stake the damn thing out and see what I noticed. Designate this one NC-02.

So for the next two hours, I sat on the porch with a cup of microwave coffee, my equipment, and a copy of one of my favorite books. (Steel Beach by John Varley.) I read a bit, got interrupted by Paul a bit, and kept a watch for anything unusual on the mountain near the power lines.

I sat for the next couple of hours, and nothing happened. I hadn't really expected it to, but sometimes you get lucky. 

Finally I gave it up for the night and went to bed.

The next day, it was pouring. I climbed out of bed and had to put on my waterproof LHPS jacket to go get a shower. When I got back I made another cup of coffee and heated up a burrito I'd brought for specifically that purpose, and then retreated back to the porch.

I thought things over while I waited, and none of it made any sense. He'd gotten lost, apparently, in a reasonably populated place with plenty of landmarks. From these mountains, there was civilization around within a hike of a couple hours, tops. His clothes and equipment had been missing, and never found, which is weird to begin with. Even if the lights were unrelated, it was a strange coincidence.

There's a phenomenon called paradoxical undressing, where hypothermia victims remove their clothes, but I didn't find hypothermia to be much of a possibility in early August. And how far could he have gotten without clothes and shoes anyway?

At some point, Paul rousted himself and came out on the porch. Blearily, he looked out at the weather.

"It's raining," he noticed.

I nodded. "Probably gonna be like this all day."

"Can we go shopping?"

"I don't have anything else to do. It's okay with me if it's okay with your mom."

We drove into Selinsgrove, and I convinced the family to let me off at a thrift store while they went to Wal-Mart. I managed to score a pair of nice slip-on shoes and pajama pants with skulls on them. Then we drove over to a nearby mall, which apparently is still a thing.

As we walked through the mall, Paul looked over at a shop that seemed to be all about cryptids. "Hey, Dad," he said.

I veered off and walked in. There was a Mothman sculpture by the door, and Bigfoot shirts hanging everywhere. I liked it. The owners were behind their counter, and a flat-nosed dog came to greet me.

"Oh," I said, and knelt down to pet her. "You're a cutie."

She licked my face.

"That's Raven," said the owner. "She loves everyone."

"So, you guys do cryptids," I said, stepping up to the counter. "Are you familiar with the Giwoggle?"

The woman smiled. "I'm not. I thought I knew them all."

"That one's pretty obscure. It's the official cryptid of Clinton County."

She typed on her laptop, and said,"Oh, here it is. Are you Lou?"

"I am. I wrote most of the Giwoggle stuff."

"You're a writer?"
"Freelance. PA Wilds and NCPA, mostly."

"You know, we work with Strange Knocks magazine," she said. "The editor has been looking for content. Would you be interested?"

I handed her my card. "Sure, I wouldn't mind. I'm not even all that picky about the money. Get in touch." I picked up a couple of Squonk stickers. "I'll take these, too."

When we got back, it was still raining. But they appeared to have opened the splash pad, which Paul took one look at and lit up.

"The splash pad is open! I'm going over!" And the kid who takes forever to get ready for school was in his swimsuit in four seconds, and racing for the pad.

I sat down on the porch with the scope, and sighted it in again. I checked the power lines on the mountain, and had a good enough view through the fog. I zoomed in on the slide tower over at the splash pad, and saw Paul at the top. He saw me looking at him through the scope, and held up two fingers, peace-sign style. 

I grinned and returned the sign, and he disappeared down the slide.

So apparently we had a new thing.

When it got dark, I called Chloe again.

"How's it going?"

"Having fun. Miss you guys; looking forward to getting home." This kid had started out as just The Kid On My Tours, years ago. And then, last year, she'd become my sidekick and occasional coffee meet-up, and now, finally, my teammate and one of my best friends in the world.

"I can understand that. How's the mystery going?"

"I think I'm gonna have to file this one as unsolved for now," I admitted. "I've tried what I can from here, but nothing makes any sense. I'm going to have to work on this one again next time I'm out here."

"It is an interesting one."

"Thanks for your help. Couldn't do it without you."

"It was the least I could do, after all you've done for me,"

"By the way, I'm bringing you a little gift when I get home," I said. "See you soon."

Haunted America: Inker, Taylor

Over the past several months, LHPS headquarters had pretty much become Lex and Jay's place on Main Street. Once it had been Millie's, out on the edge of town, but this was better. We were downtown, meeting in a nice apartment in a historic building. 

It was the first time I'd been there at eight AM, though.

"I wanted to stop by and see you," I said to Jay. "I know today's a rough day for you, so I thought I'd stop by before work."

Jay nodded. "I'm doing okay. I've been thinking about my dad, but I'm doing okay with it. I've talked to Lex, and we're excited about the investigation this weekend."

"I am, too." I smiled. "Thanks for setting us up at your tattoo parlor. I've been looking into the history of the place."

"I can't wait. You can meet us here beforehand, and we'll have tacos."

"That sounds good. I think I'm going to make homemade tortilla chips and corn salsa."

"Can't wait to try it."

"Hey." I reached out and touched Jay's face. "Something I wanted to say for a while. I sometimes get the feeling you don't talk much about your tarot cards and your crystals and stuff because you're afraid of how I might react. I want you to be you. Don't you ever dim your light for me."

She smiled. "I just don't talk about it too much. But okay." She hugged me.

"I just want you to know, I love you for you, okay?"

"Okay. I'm not psychic, though, I promise."

"I know."

It was the day before the investigation when I got around to doing the historic research.

Most of this, fortunately, was doable right form my office. I started with the city directories. These are like reverse phone books, showing who lived in any given building during a certain year. I had them back to the 1920s, and I sat down and compiled a list of owners without finding anyone who stood out as a major candidate to be haunting the place. 

Once upon a time, I'd have been dependent on the library for this stuff. But I'd been accumulating my own files for quite a while. I was preparing to leave the library for a couple of years before it actually happened, so I had most of what I needed right at home.

I went to the Historic Resource Survey Forms. If a building is old enough, it may have had one of these filled out, and that's nice, because it means someone's done much of the research for me. This one was 035-LH-245, and I dug it out in a minute.

The building had been built be a Doctor Charles Taylor, who'd died a couple of years after. At age forty. Score. I checked the cemetery indexes for Taylor, and found out that he'd been buried in the old Great Island Cemetery from the 1700s. When the cemetery was moved in 1919, it seemed his body was one of the missing ones.

There it was. Doctor Taylor.

"Doctor Charles Taylor," I told Lex and Jay. "He built the place, and he died a few years later. He was only forty, which makes him the best candidate for haunting."

"I don't know how you do that," said Lex.

I handed her copies of the cemetery index and the HRSF. "Usually these. File them with the paperwork,"

We'd declared it taco night at the Clinton Trust Building. Jay and Lex had cooked tacos, and I'd brought homemade tortilla chips with corn salsa. Lately. we'd started having dinner before each investigation, talking things over, and doing some team bonding.

"What's tonight's number, by the way?" asked Jay.

"Pretty sure it's 2026.08.01," I said. "I knew this was going to be a busy year, with the 250th celebration."

She wrote it on the form. I said,"I think I'm going to have to drop the hood from my outfit."

Jay looked almost disappointed. "Why?"

"You see all those white supremacists that marched on Washington for the Fourth of July? Every damn one of those bastards had a similar hood. I think I need to lose it."

"Every time you come up with a new outfit, the Nazis steal your ideas," commented Lex.

"Yeah, been thinking about that."

"Are you going to see the fireworks later tonight?" Jay asked.

"Michelle and Paul are at a Crosscutters game in Williamsport," I said. "Thought I'd hang out and watch with you two if that's okay."

"Of course," she said. "We can walk down to the pavliion."

"That's a good place for it."

"You're missing family time, though," she said.

I shrugged. "I'm not a sports guy. I'd have gone, but I'd kinda rather look for ghosts than go to a baseball game anyway."

"What time should we leave here?" asked Jay.

I looked at my watch. "We have about an hour. The investigation's not until seven, and it's right down the street."

We got to the tattoo parlor just before closing, which is about right for the average business investigation. The two women at the counter let us in.

"Where do we start?" one of them asked.

"Let's do a little walk-through," I said. "Show us the place, and let us know where any hotspots are. Then we'll get photos and a baseline on EMFs and temperature."

"The hot spot is the bathroom," she said. "Down this way."

Past the lobby, there was a long hallway with a couple of rooms off to the right, and the bathroom at the very end. Lex was checking temperature with her thermal imager, Jay was checking EMFs, and I snapped photos, which would usually be Chloe's job, but she was in Florida tonight.

"Ah, dammit," I said. "Camera battery going dead. I should have charged it before I left; I never thought to check."

"What kind does it take?" asked Lex. "We got plenty of extra batteries---"

"Nah, it's a specialty type made for the camera. Maybe I packed the spare." I dug through my pouch for a moment before coming up with it. "Here it is! I was hoping I'd left this one in here."

"Remember to charge the other one when you get home," commented Lex. I changed out the battery and dropped the old one in my pouch.

"Up to red," Jay said. "I'm getting high readings in here."

I got out my own detector from my pouch. I was wearing the shoulder bag and the fingerless gloves---Not the hood tonight. I turned it on, and the lights immediately shot up to orange. I switched to the all-in-one model and tried again, and it skyrocketed up, beeping.

"I've never heard it do that before," said Lex.

"High EMFs here," I said. "You guys know the concept of a fear cage?"

They glanced at each other. "No," said Lex.

"An enclosed space that has extremely high EMFs can cause anxiety. It can make a non-haunted place seem haunted, and a hundred place seem worse than it is. This would be one. Last time I saw a fear cage was years ago, on the bottom floor of Sloan Hall." I turned to the employees. "Is there a break box around here?"

"Two. One for this floor, around the corner. One in the back for the whole building."

I checked the closer one. It read higher than average. "Can I see the other one?"

She walked me to the back of the building. The other breaker box was bigger, and my detector shot up the second I got even close to it. When I went back out to the others, I said,"High EMFs in this building, guys. Normally I get around a five or six reading. This one was three hundred and nine."

"Wow," said Lex. "I got a two-degree drop in the bathroom."

"That should be more consistent," I said. "Get your recorders. Let's do an EVP session."

We all gathered in the restroom, and settled in. Lex had her recorder on before I did, so I just clicked mine on and let her lead.

"Thirty East Main Street, it's seven-twenty," she said. "Lex."

We all went around and announced our names, and then began to ask questions and try to get a response. Sometimes you get lucky. Jay said,"My EMF detector is already flashing red."

Lex said,"Hey, he was a doctor, right? I just remembered, we have something he can check. I still have my surgery scars."

"Forgot about that," I said. 

She held out her hand where she'd had her carpal tunnel surgery. "Doctor, take a look at this. How did the surgeon do? Did he do okay?"

"Getting a reading," said Jay.

"Mine, too," I said. "I'm getting steady yellow, pulsing to orange."

"Yours isn't al that sensitive," said Lex. "It never does that."

"No," I agreed. "Looks like Dr. Taylor is active. I was able to find his grave up in the old Great Island Cemetery, and I could pick out the building on the old maps. It was listed under his wife's name on the 1857 map---"

Another spike on both the detectors. Lex said,"Whoa, he really reacted at the mention of the 1857 map."

"Getting a lot of EMF activity tonight," commented Jay. "This is awesome."

"Paging Doctor Taylor," I said.

We sat in the dark under the pavilion, looking out over the Susquehanna River.

"It's beautiful," said Jay. "Look at the mountains over there. I love this."

"I love Lock Haven," I said. "There's so much here. When I'm giving my tours, it's....Well, that's really the closest you get to seeing the real, unfiltered me."

Lex nodded. "When I lived in Avis, it was a really quiet place. I thought I'd hate it here, but the apartment we found was the only one we could get. I love it. Living in Lock Haven is wonderful."

"Plus, you're in a historic building," I said.

She grinned. "And I get to hunt ghosts."

"Plus that. Yes."

The fireworks started----Big explosions downriver of white, yellow, blue, and green. Jay said,"Ooooh."

"There it is, guys," I said. "Happy July."

Do You Fear What I Fear: The 2025 Christmas Special

First thing in the morning, I took the dogs out. I plugged in the Christmas lights on the tree. I started coffee, and I was in the middle of making breakfast when the phone rang.

It was Chris. "Hey, Lou, I wanted to tell you this before you saw it on social media."
"Yeah?"
"Kate and I are having a baby."
I gasped. This was the best news I'd heard in about a year and a half.

"Oh my god oh my god! That's great! I am so happy for you!"

Chris laughed. "I wanted to tell you myself, as soon as I could. You deserve that. You're one of my best friends."

"You're mine." This had been true for about fifteen years, but I wasn't sure we'd ever admitted it aloud before.

"We're due sometime in early June. Right in the middle of the America 250th celebration, actually."

"Paul was born during Clinton County's 175th. He's going to be delighted. He'll want to play with your kid a lot."

"That won't be a problem."

After I got off the phone, Paul was stirring in his room. From upstairs, he called down,"Who was on the phone, Daddy?"

"That was Uncle Chris, little man. He called with big news. Uncle Chris and Aunt Kate are going to have a baby."

From the top of the stairs, Paul squealed with delight.

 

I walked into the doughnut shop and sat down across from Ashlin. "I kinda like meeting here," I said. "On Sunday nights, it's basically deserted, and we have the place to ourselves."

Ashlin nodded. "I'm all for it."

I handed Paul a gift card. "One of my editors gave me a card. There's twenty-five dollars on this, kid. Go nuts."

He ran off to the kiosk. I sipped my coffee. "We have one new member, Chloe. I've invited a couple of others, including my friend Chris. I think he'd been a good member, if he can find the time."

Ashlin grinned. "I'd invite someone, but I don't know anyone. At least, no one I'd trust on an investigation."

"We've got a couple of good ones coming up. I hope to schedule a return to that Main Street house in December---You remember the one we did a couple of years ago? They're having activity again. And there's another place in Sugar Valley that's contacted me. And, hopefully in January, there's an abandoned funeral home in Renovo."

"Oooh, that one sounds good," she said.

"You'll love it. Some of the equipment is still there."

"So I get to lay down on a morgue table."
I laughed. "I did that on the first investigation LHPS ever had. It was a funeral home up in Cameron County. I was about your age, and I did, in fact, lay down on a morgue table."

"I mean, how many chances do you get?"

"Usually just the one. I think we may get an upswing in activity soon. You know how construction can make the ghosts act up?" Ashlin nodded. I continued,"Well, the White House is said to be very haunted. As far back as the Lincoln administration, there were sightings. With Trump ripping down the East Wing, it may stir something up."
"It's always something with him. I miss the days we had boring presidents."

"Yeah. Me too. I e-mailed the White House to ask if there was an increase in activity. They said it was too soon to tell. And now I'm probably on three or four watchlists."

"Worth it."

"I've noticed that sightings see to increase in times of turmoil. The Civil War. Covid. There's always an upswing in paranormal activity. Well, nobody can deny that the country is in turmoil right now. I'm expecting there may be a lot of activity. We may be pretty busy."
Ashlin grinned. "It's about time."

One of the bad things about being a high-profile paranormal investigator is that people will find you. It can also be one of the good things. I wasn't sure which one this was yet.

I was in the doughnut shop drinking my coffee when the two women came in. Both young. One dark-haired, one lighter-haired with glasses.

They sat down with me, and I said,"So you're Jaydann and Alexis."

They nodded. "We've been on your tours," Jaydann said. The dark-haired one.

"I thought you looked familiar! Sorry it took me this long to recognize you."

She waved that away. "We wanted to learn how to hunt ghosts."
"We did Gettysburg recently, and wanted to learn more," added Alexis.

"You should know that I don't work with psychics," I said. "I've had some bad experiences with people who claimed to be psychic, but were actually either just pretending, or straight-up con artists."

"That's okay." said Jaydann. "We're not claiming to be psychic."

"I'll believe that some people might be, but not as many as they think," said Alexis.

"Okay, that's reasonable. You already have some equipment?"

"EMF detectors, cat balls, recorders, a thermal camera."

"That's a good start. My advice is to just go ahead and buy all of it. You're gonna end up with it all anyway, so you might as well get it over with. Do you know how to do any of the historical research?"

"Not yet, no," sad Jaydann. "But we were hoping that's something you could teach us."

"Do either of you have any first aid experience?"

"Both of us," said Jaydann. "I'm a home health aide."

"I'm certified in CPR and AED," Alexis told me.

I considered it, and decided to take a chance on these two. I dug into my backpack and pulled out two applications, and slid them across the table.

"Interested in joining the Lock Haven Paranormal Seekers?"

Jaydann smiled. "Yes!"

"Fill out these applications and get them back to me. We've had some changes lately and I've been looking  for new members. I think you two would be good. We'll arrange some sort of a training session for you; maybe one of the local cemeteries. I've gotten a lot of reports of a house in my neighborhood being highly haunted, but we don't investigate private homes unless we're invited. We have one of those coming up in January. I'm trying to rebuild our team, and looking for the best of the best."

"We won't let you down," said Jaydann.

"I know," I said. "I have a good feeling about you two."

"Hey, kiddo." I looked in Paul's room from the hall. He was sitting on the bed with his phone. "Get this. There's a comet going by Earth; it's called 3I Atlas. I've been following the news for a couple months. It's from outside our solar system, some people think it's created by aliens, and it'll be at its closest point to Earth tonight. Want to go check with me later, if it's clear?"

"Okay, probably," said Paul.

"Maybe we'll go around the corner and check out a haunted property, too," I said. "People have been contacting me about 425 South Highland, and it's been a little slow lately. Want to come along?"

"Sure."

I walked down the hall to my office. I had a couple of hundred years of research and files lining the walls, and I sat at my desk and pulled the city directories.

I could hear the wind blowing outside. Winter had arrived; we had cold weather and an ongoing windstorm for the last few days. Yeti weather.

425 South Highland. The best way to find out about a haunting is to find out who lived there, and then who died there. In 1926, the place had been owned by the Honetor family. George Honetor. I went to the cemetery directories, and looked him up. He was buried out in Rest Haven, but he had two babies not far away in Fairview. 

Kenneth Honetor had been born in 1931, and died after two days. Harry Honetor had been four days old when he died in 1937. It appeared that the family had been living in the house at the time.

There they were. It was always something; chances are when I looked into it, I'd find the reason. That was the reason behind 425....Two dead babies.

The winter solstice---Shortest amount of daylight in the year. I looked outside to see if it was dark enough to see the stars, and it was---It had begun getting dark around four-thirty. I went upstairs and looked into Paul's room, and found him asleep on the bed. Robin never does this to Batman.

I went downstairs and pulled on my coat. It was about twenty-eight degrees out. Nice night for a walk.

In the yard, I looked around at the sky. I saw a bright light that may have been 3I Atlas, and watched it for a while. Then I walked down the street, looking at the Christmas lights. Several of the neighbors had their lights on in a cluster of homes; the street was lit right up. There was a really cool-looking reindeer made of lights in a yard half a block down. Someone had Christmas music playing: Silent night....Holy night....All is calm....All is bright....

I turned onto South Highland. I'd lived in this neighborhood for over twenty years; I knew which house was which. As I walked up the block, I turned on my EMF detector.

It was the all-in-one, which had a thermometer on it. I wasn't getting any sign of EMFs, but I noticed something as I got closer to the house---The temperature was reading fifty-five.

I had a heavy coat and my hood on. It was nowhere even remotely near fifty-five.

The lights at 425 were off; nobody appeared to be home. I walked around the yard a little bit, and the detector spiked as high as fifty-seven. When I walked away on the sidewalk, it began dropping again, until it hit the twenties. Still no EMFs.

Now, that was weird. I turned and walked past again, and this time, nothing. No temperature spikes, nothing.

I'd have to do a little more digging. I headed back to the house. It was cold out there.

"Careful on the ice."

We pulled up in Saint Agnes Cemetery and got out of the car---Me and the new two, Alexis and Jaydann. I was walking carefully on the ice sheet, sticking mostly to the grass, which had a bit more traction. Jaydann was just a head of me. Alexis, who seemed to have considerably better balance than either Jaydann or myself, was strolling casually across the icy road.

"I brought my new pack," commented Jaydann.

I grinned. "You got the ghost backpack!" Her new pack, with all her equipment in it, had sketches of little ghosts all over it. I'd worn the usual outfit with the shoulder strap, which was easy to throw a heavy coat over. I was wearing the heavier hood; it was about twenty-eight degrees out.

"The grave we're looking for is over here," I said, leading them across the cemetery. "A murdered man whose ghost was reported as attending his own funeral. When they got out here, the strap that was being used to lower the coffin in wrapped around a pallbearer's leg and almost pulled him into the grave. The pallbearer was arrested as being the murderer, but not convicted."

"Whoa," said Alexis.

"About here, near this tree." I looked around. "Maybe under the snow. I didn't completely think this through. But it's right around here, so let's check it out."

Alexis got out her thermal imager and began checking around. Jaydann borrowed mine, and said,"This thing is about to die."

"Really?" I glanced over. "Yeah, looks like I need to change the batteries. Yours is better anyway. Let me get a few photos."

I clicked some shots, and Alexis said,"Do you hear that?"

I stopped and listened. "I hear something---"

"From up there. I'm hearing what sounds like footsteps."

"An animal maybe?"

"Would have to be an awfully big heavy deer. It sounds like a human."

"I don't see anything. I'm getting photos." I got out my camera and snapped several shots, which is procedure.

We walked out from under the tree, into more of a clear area. I heard the footsteps again, up above us on the hill. Alexis said,"There---"

"Yeah." I got some more photos and set my digital recorder on a gravestone. "Going to recording. December at six-forty-five PM, Saint Mary's Cemetery. Lou."

"Jaydann."

"Alexis."
"Is anyone here?"

I liked these two. I couldn't help it. They were enthusiastic, dedicated, and willing to learn. They were also kind of fun to spend time with.

Alexis was clicking photos with her phone. She said,"Look at this one."

Her photo showed the cemetery, looking downhill, but it had an odd streak in it. I said,"Is it still snowing? It doesn't really seem to be, does it?"

"And it's going sideways," said Jaydann.

"It is," I agreed. "The wind isn't blowing enough to make it go horizontal like that."

"You think we have something?"

"We might," I agreed. "You two are good. I spent a couple of months considering people for new members, and none were quite right. And the you two showed up. You're the best Christmas gift I could ask for. You want to see Fairview Cemetery on the way home?"

For the record, I wouldn't much mind being visited by three ghosts for Christmas, but that hasn't yet happened to me. Occasionally I encounter the one I live with. Mostly, it's just the family and me getting together for Christmas dinner.

"Paul," I said,"I have one more present for you." I reached into my pocket and handed him my old Swiss Army knife---The one I'd recently replaced. "This is for you now. You've earned it. Take care of it."

Paul smiled. "Okay," he said.

"I thought, since you liked this one better, you can have it," I said. "If you don't really want it right now, I can keep it until you're ready."

"No," he said. "I want it."

#150: Moth To A Flame

It was a nice evening.

I was leaving the store with some crackers for an upcoming trip, and some root beers for Paul. I got on my bike and pulled into Kite Alley, when I found a friend of mine walking over.

"Hi, Wendi. How are you?"

"Hi, Lou! Doing good, how about you?"

"Doing good. Planning my haunted tours for the year. You want to come?"

"Oh, of course I do. You know I love that stuff. Hey, while we're on the subject, I wanted to tell you about something!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, I was picking my daughter and her friend up in Beech Creek and we saw Mothman. It's not much, but...."

"No, Mothman is one of my favorites! Tell me about it."

"We were picking her and her friend up in Beech Creek. In the woods, we saw something really quick---Big and black, wing ten-foot wings, flying. It was only for a moment, and then it was gone."

"Well, this is gonna give me something to look into," I said. "I love the Mothman. Now I gotta do some investigating."

I'd seen the old lady before, occasionally. She'd approached me a few times over the years to ask me questions about local history, or tell me things she thought I didn't know. When I got to work, she was in the front office, making some photocopies. Tom was helping her. When I walked in, she showed one to me. It looked to be a newspaper story about thunderbirds.

"Ah, cool," I commented.

"They've been seen around this area," she said.

I nodded. "I've written about some sightings."

She continued, giving me no sign she'd heard me. She was the kind of person who only heard what she felt like hearing. "Thunderbirds have been seen out near Bald Eagle Creek, you know. Out near the Castanea Fire Hall."

"Have they? I didn't know that."

"Oh, yes. I've seen them out there. There used to be a man who knew my dad, he lived out near the old storage building, and he would talk about seeing them."
"Well, now I'm interested. Oh, that reminds me." I turned to Tom, still making copies. "You live in Beech Creek. You ever see the Mothman down there?"
"Wait, what?"

"Or any weird flying creature that you can't explain. I've had a Mothman sighting in the Beech Creek area."

"Mothman?"

"Sort of a big bug-person creature. Usually sticks close to West Virginia, but he's been seen in Chicago lately. I haven't heard of Mothman being out this far in central Pennsylvania before."
"Oh. No, I haven't seen anything. I'm not really out enough to see anything like that."

"Well, if you happen to be out at camp or something, and you have a sighting, let me know. I got a job to do."

"B...Forty-two. B....Forty-two." 

I walked across the Bingo hall and sat down with Michelle. She was playing two cards at once, while I'd been walking around helping out. It was a fundraiser for Paul's dance class; Paul himself was back in the small kids' room playing with some of his friends.

"Just got done telling the kids some ghost stories by request," I said. "How's it going?"

"Okay," she said. "How you doing?"

"Kind of a rough day," I said. "Tim fired me from SPI this morning for my refusal to work with psychics."

She looked at me in some shock. "What happened?"

"Tim included a fucking psychic in our last investigation. When I had to submit my report, I stated that we'd damaged our credibility by including a fraudulent psychic, and the whole investigation should be scrapped and done over due to the whole thing being compromised. Tim ran it past the lawyer, who said that I could be in trouble for defamation. And Tim dropped me from the team."

"Could you really be sued for defamation?"
"I'd love to see her try to prove in court that her abilities work."

"Are you and Tim still friends?"

"I guess so. I'm pissed as hell right now, and I think it's going to be a while before I want to hang with him. But I don't plan on cutting off contact or anything."

"Did you have to say that in your report?"

"I think it was the only ethical thing I could do. I do historic research and prove what I say; I can't go letting people make stuff up as if it's actual documentation."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, look into Mothman and the thunderbird a bit; I've had sightings. And Chloe asked me to do some research on her house."

"I mean about the team."

I shrugged. 

"I still have LHPS." I could see Paul signaling to me from across the room. "Gotta go. The kids want more ghost stories."

I get home from work every day about four, usually just in time to beat Paul inside. I walked the dogs and brought in the mail, and when the kid got home, I tossed him a small package.

"What's this?"

"Your new ghost-hunting outfit, if you want it," I said.

He tore it open and pulled out a fanny pack, black, with a thick strap. He looked it over, and said,"I approve."

"With me changing mine so I don't look like an ICE agent, I didn't want you running around in a tac vest, either," I said. "You like to wear these across your chest, and I thought that was a good look. I'll transfer your equipment into it. You still want the skull gloves?"

Paul nodded, heading for the refrigerator. "Yeah. I like those."

"Okay. Good. With me out of SPI, it looks like it's likely to be you and me doing investigations for a while. Just got a Mothman sighting down around the county line; you want in?"

"Sure."
"Maybe down to Bald Eagle State Park one of these weekends to take a look? Sometime after we get back from our bus trip to Baltimore."

"Maybe. I asked Rylan if she could come along."

"What'd she say?"

"She's going to check with her mom. But she wants to wait until her mom is in the right mood."

"I get that. I used to do that." A thought occurred to me. "Do you have to do that?"

"Not really. Well, sometimes with Mom. But you're usually in a pretty good mood, except for when there's problems with your friends."

"You mean like this thing with Tim and SPI?"

"Well, yeah, like that."

"Well, I'm not too bothered by that, buddy. And don't worry about asking me stuff---A lot of the time, when things are bad, you cheer me up considerably."

"Okay, buddy. Have a good day at school."

Paul headed out the door and down to the bus stop---He doesn't let me walk him down there anymore. I went to the kitchen and poured myself another cup of coffee. Alone with Rosie, Butters, and the hamster.

I sat down at my computer and looked up the number for the Mothman Museum in West Virginia. I tried calling, but they had a long, rambling message, so I settled for e-mailing instead. Then I stepped out on the porch with the coffee and looked outside.

It was pouring out. I sipped some coffee and looked at the horrible rain, considering. I had some stuff I'd wanted to do, but it wasn't pressing. I could stay home and avoid the rain.

I smiled.

On the other hand, is there better weather to investigate a thunderbird?

Across town, I did the title search on Chloe's house at the courthouse annex. I got as far back as 1945, where the deeds suddenly dropped---Someone may have typed a wrong number in 1951, leaving me clueless after that. I scribbled down a list of names and dates, and then gathered my stuff and walked out.

Since I was on the east end of Lock Haven anyway, I biked out to Castanea. Still pouring. I turned and rode down past the Castanea Fire Hall, and down along Bald Eagle Creek. The irony is that I was practically right across from my own house; Castanea Township begins about two blocks from where I live. But because there's no bridge across the creek, I have to go the long way around.

I stopped along Lower Creek Road and got off the bike. I was wearing the huge poncho I'd bought a while back, and still getting wet. I worked my way through some trees and thorns, beating my way back to Bald Eagle Creek.

The slope had turned completely to mud, making the footing somewhat hazardous. I clung to some trees as I carefully worked my way down to the creek, standing on some large rocks.

No signs of thunderbirds. I hadn't exactly expected one to be sitting around and waiting for me anyway. I knelt on the rocks by the creek, looking things over.

Bald Eagle Creek routes from the Susquehanna, which in turn runs down and into the Chesapeake Bay. When you're looking into a flying creature especially, you have to consider what's called an OOPS---Out Of Place Specimen. In other words, a creature that isn't usually seen in a certain area. Stop me if I'm getting too technical for you.

Theoretically, thunderbird sightings could easily be caused by an especially large bird, say a condor, flying too far inland where they're not supposed to be. A logical route would be for them to follow the water, form the ocean up the Susquehana into Castanea Township. Water is where prey is.

I looked down the creek and saw it; I remembered it being there before. An old Native American fish trap---A V-shaped weir in the water, designed to funnel fish into a spot where they could be easily caught. Fish clustered in one spot would certainly be a food source for a large bird, which might explain the thunderbird sightings.

I climbed back up the bank. I still had time to buy groceries before I headed back home.

From my office in the basement, I sent Chloe a message. I loved having a small office in the basement; I'd always dreamed of underground hideouts when I was a kid. It helped that the boss didn't really care much what I was doing down there.

Because of all the rain, the south end of the basement was leaking badly. Up near the ceiling, water was pouring in through a pipe, making a sort of pretty waterfall down the wall. It all pooled into a pond on the floor, and ran into two holes in the floor before it drained. Excess water ran across the floor to the north and into a pit under the stairs. So when it rained hard, my office had a water feature.

I sent her the historic information I'd found on her house. She was online.

I got fired from a ghost hunting team I'm on because of my refusal to work with psychics. So I needed a little cheering up!

She responded a moment later.

If it makes you feel any better about the ghost hunting team, I'm glad you stood your ground. As someone who is definitely a people-pleaser, seeing you stand your ground and not give up your beliefs is something to look up to.

That helps, actually. Thanks. Makes me feel a lot better. 

I agree with you completely. If you're gonna pretend to be psychic, at least be creative. It really paints a completely misleading picture for the field of ghost hunting, and makes it seem like it's based on instinct instead of research.

Exactly! You get it. You're making me feel a lot better, actually. Thanks for that. I figure if I did something that you can respect, I probably did the right thing.

I'm glad I could help! I look up to a lot of what you do, your serving as a great role model for me right now! Especially regarding how you don't back down when your beliefs are threatened.

So, excitement tomorrow---My family is going on a bus trip to the Baltimore Aquarium! My wife's company does these trips sometimes. I hope to do a little research into water cryptids, and show Paul some good stuff, and maybe look out the window for a Maryland flying cryptid, the Snallygaster, on the way. Because what else will I have to do on the bus?

That's awesome! I just found out today we booked a trip to Gettysburg for Sunday/Monday! I am so freaking excited!!!! We are staying at the Farnsworth house in  the McFarlane room. I'm planning on bringing my EMF detectors. I want to ask if you have any other tools I might possibly be able to borrow for my trip?

Absolutely I do! How about a laser thermometer? I can easily loan you one.

I smiled, down in my basement hideout. I like talking to Chloe, and trying to be a role model for her. Sometimes the young kid needs reassurance.

And sometimes, so does the older one.

Paul and I looked down on some manta rays and other fish from the upper balcony. The Baltimore Aquarium is an enjoyable place, and it was the fourth time I'd been there---The first for Paul and his little friend Rylan, who'd come along. They were both carrying orange sodas that had cost about $3.50.

We walked into a dark hallway with a tank of anemones. Paul gasped, looking at the bright colors. Rylan was staring at them, and a moment later, the water in the tank burst with bubbles.

"What did you touch?" I asked Rylan.

"Nothing!" she said. "I swear!"

The next tank had some crabs in it. Rylan asked Paul,"What's your favorite part of this?"

"All of it, I think."

"I liked touching the jellyfish."

"I think this is fun," Paul said,"But I liked the Pittsburgh Zoo better."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, interested. "Why is that?"

He shrugged. "They had all the animals separate. They were all in their own cages."

"I see."

Michelle asked,"What do you guys want to see next?"

"I want to check out the boats outside," said Paul.

Outside the aquarium, on the Chesapeake Bay, there was an operation that rented small boats to ride around the harbor for half an hour at a time. We'd gotten a pirate ship with a kraken on the side, which I liked, and Paul was steering it. I got a photo of another boat shaped like a sea monster.

"Closest I've ever come to finding the Chesapeake Bay serpent," I said.

"There's a serpent out here?" asked Rylan.

"Yeah, Chessie, the Chesapeake Bay cryptid. We've encountered that one before." I'd looked into Chessie years ago, on a family trip to Virginia. 

"What's that?" Paul asked.

I glanced over. There was something swimming in the water by the buoy, sticking a long neck up out of the water. I took a photo and got all excited for a moment, until I realized what it was.

"It's a duck," I said.

It came up out of the water, and then a moment later, flew away.

After a long day at school, Paul likes to relax by going insane on the trampoline. He and Serina were bouncing around, burning off any inexplicable excess energy.

"Find any ghosts?" Serina asked me. She's always interested in these things.

"No ghosts recently, but I did bike out to Castanea to look for thunderbirds the other day."

She looked surprised. "You went all the way to Castanea?"

"It's not that far. Truth is, we live practically next door to Castanea. Castanea Township is right over there. But everyone thinks we live far away, because you have to go the long way around. We could just walk right to it if there was a bridge over Bald Eagle Creek...."

I trailed off. Paul glanced over at me, and said,"Dad?"

"Just had a thought," I said. "Be right back."

I went inside and came back with a Clinton County map. I unfolded it and said,"Okay, so I've had a thunderbird sighting in Castanea and a Mothman sighting in Beech Creek. The Jersey Devil was seen at the paper mill in 1909. Now, it's normal for some birds to follow along waterways; that's where the food is. People see large birds sometimes, out of area specimens, and mistake them for cryptids."

"Have you seen cryptids turn out to be large birds before?" Serena asked.

"Egrets? I've had a few. Beech Creek runs into Bald Eagle Creek, which runs into the Susquehanna River, which ends up in the Chesapeake Bay. So large birds could theoretically fly up the river right in from the coast. Which means....They'd end up at the paper mill. It's why there are all those ducks and geese in the mill ponds."

I looked up from the map. they were both staring at me.

"So I need to check out where all the birds go."

It was autumn; the sun was going down earlier, and it was almost dark when we picked Paul up from dance class. I made him a pizza---He's always starved after dance, plus most of the rest of the time---And he sat down at the table to eat it. I went up to my office and changed into my outift.

Sling bag with the bandolier. Hood, Fingerless gloves. I was ready.

I walked downstairs. Paul asked,"Where are you going?"

"Down to the paper mill to look for the Mothman. I'll be back in a bit."

I got my bike out of the garage and rode toward the paper mill, a couple of blocks away past the Lock Haven city limit. It was a bright moon, not quite full. I turned toward the paper mill.

Birds had been flying up Bald Eagle Creek for probably a hundred years or more. Once I saw it, I couldn't quite unsee it---Even the alleys in this neighborhood were named after birds. Grouse Alley, Finch Alley, Crane Alley. The ponds at the paper mill were a good stopping point for traveling birds, even ones not generally seen in the area.

I pulled up at the gate. Mostly I forget just how close I live to the very edge of Lock Haven. I was in the parking lot of a local bar, which was reasonably quiet on a Thursday night. The ponds with their usual flock of geese were right beside me, past the gate.

I walked along it, looking through, checking for cryptids.

Something moved behind me.

It rustled through the tall grass as I turned.

Showtime.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

It was giant---At least four feet tall. Dark grey. It came at me, making a crowing sort of sound, and I flailed out at it, punching and kicking.

The Mothman!

I punched out, scraping up my knuckles, and then kicked. It backed off. I'm not gonna get killed by a cryptid; I'm gonna have a heart attack sometime. Once I got my pulse back under control, I realized that it was a bird---A huge one, some sort of crane.

It came at me again. I backed up and kicked. I wasn't using any kind of specialized martial art, I was thrashing around in pure panic hoping to hit something. I raised my arms, and held up my shoulder bag, hoping to make myself look bigger and more threatening.

The crane bought it and took off. I chased after it for about ten yards before deciding I really didn't want to do that. I fell to one knee in the parking lot, catching my breath, as it launched itself over the fence and disappeared.

"Birds of a feather," I said.

I was printing envelopes at work when the back door opened and Tif rolled in with her new wheelchair. "Oh, hi, hon," I said.

"Hi Dad," said Tif. "I came to get a copy made. What the hell happened to your hand?"
I looked down at my right hand, scratched up from the night before. "Oh, this. I got into a fight with some kind of sandhill crane."

"On purpose?"

"Not really; the bastard snuck up on me and mugged me. I thought it was the Mothman."

"And you were so disappointed it was a bird that you had to start a fight with it?"

"It started a fight with me. I didn't even see it coming. Apparently they can be aggressive to humans if they're defending their territory."

"Don't some of those things get about five feet tall?"

"This one looked like it was close to Paul's height. It was pretty alarming."

"So the crane accounts for the Mothman sightings?"

"They often do. A sandhill crane was probably responsible for the original sightings in 1966, but nobody really wanted to hear that."

"I think people need cryptids," said Tif.

I grinned.

"I know I do."

Philadelphia Phantom

"How about in August, we go to Philadelphia?" Michelle asked me.

I looked up from dinner. "What's in Philadelphia? I mean, there's a lot of stuff, but what specifically this summer?"

"There's a Chinese lantern festival. I'd really like to see it. I know you've been to Philadelphia plenty of times before, but...."

"I was born near there. But that actually sounds pretty cool. Sure, if you want to, see if you can find us a place to stay." I turned to my laptop and did a search.

"Oh....Wow," I said.

"What?"

"It's very near Fairmount Park," I said. "I've been dying to get to Fairmount Park for years now. You know what's in Fairmount Park?"

"The Philosopher's Stone, kid," I said. "You know the Philosopher's Stone?"

Chloe nodded. "Sure I know the Philosopher's Stone!"
I'd invited Chloe out to Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and a fruity drink she was having. Chloe is a teenager about to start college, and the words "awesome kid" come readily to mind with her. She'd been coming on my tours for a few years, and had shown a strong interest in local history. We'd recently reconnected, and were hanging out and chatting.

"So there's this old legend down there, connected with some history," I explained. "The history part is that there were a group of monks living in Fairmount Park back in the seventeen hundreds. They lived in some caves down there. You can still apparently see the cave of their leader, Kelpius. He died there, but before he died....Here's the legend part...He gave his assistant, Geissler, a box of ancient magical artifacts."
I took a sip of my coffee. Chloe was listening intently.

"Kelpius wanted the artifacts thrown into Wissahickon Creek so that they never fell into the wrong hands. But according to the story, Geissler decided to preserve them for future generations. So he buried them somewhere beside the creek. Now, the magic part is also kind of plausible---The local farmers believed that these guys could do magic; when their crops failed or a cow got sick or something, they'd go to the monks. One of the artifacts that was said to be in their possession....And therefore buried....Is the Philosopher's Stone."

Chloe smiled. "So....."

"So someplace down in Philadelphia, buried, may be the Philosopher's Stone, or at least an item that the monks believed to be the Philosopher's Stone. I've been dying to go after this one for years. So when we go on vacation down there....Now's my chance."

"That's so cool," said Chloe. "I hope you find it."
"That brings me to a favor I wanted to ask you, kid," I said. "When I'm away, it kind of makes me feel better to have someone back home to talk to....A message or maybe a couple of phone calls. Would you mind being my lifeline while I'm away?"

"Oh, sure," said Chloe. "Feel free to message me. I'd love that."

"Great. I appreciate that. It always makes me feel a bit better to have someone to keep in touch with, you know?"
"I can understand it."

"I may be trying out a new paranormal uniform," I said. "I always wear a tactical vest when I'm investigating, because it has enough pockets for all my stuff. But lately....Well, honestly, I just look too much like an ICE agent."

Chloe made a face. "Yeah, you don't want that."

"No. I don't like the image, I don't want to scare anyone by accident. I've been wearing this thing for years now, but I look at photos of these guys and I cringe. So I'm thinking about a temporary change to the outfit."

"Have anything in mind?"
I grinned.

"I've been thinking of something a little more ninja."

"When I was a kid, Pipper, we used to come to Philadelphia," I said. "My dad would bring us; we lived not too far from here. I had some fun times here. Look! There's Boathouse Row!"

"That's cool, Dad," said Paul, sitting in the back of the Jeep. I looked at Boathouse Row, lined in white lights, as we passed along the Delaware River.

"There's a few haunted spots near where we're going to be," I said. "You want to check them out with me later?"

"Sure," said Paul. 

"We have the Chinese Lantern festival tomorrow night," said Michelle. "Should be at the apartment any minute."

"On our way out on Thursday, I'm going to look for the Philosopher's Stone," I said.

"Harry Potter already found that," said Paul. "I saw the movie like five times."

"This one was owned by a group of monks," I said. "They lived in Philadelphia."

We found our parking garage around the corner from the place Michelle had rented. There was a psychic shop on the corner as we passed by, offering tarot readings. Typically for Philadelphia, everything was tagged---The whole city is pretty much held together by spray paint.

"Look over there, Paul," I said. "That's the Delaware River. And across from there is New Jersey. We're on the very edge of the state here."

The apartment was a nice one, with a bedroom and kitchen area, and a living room with a pull-out couch. I dropped our stuff and dug out some of my maps and charts, sitting down at the desk for a while. Then I looked up at Paul.

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked him.

"Sure."

We came out of the building, and I was wearing my new uniform. 

I'd dropped the tactical vest. I'd always loved it, but I don't want to be dressing like the bad guys. So I'd spent some time redesigning my outfit.

I needed something functional that could be carried places, and would hold all my equipment. Something that stood out a little, but didn't mark me as too unusual. And after some work, I'd come up with it.

The fingerless gloves remained. I had a shoulder bag slung over my left shoulder, with a strap across my chest, bandolier-style. It had a couple of small pouches on the strap to hold my most important equipment. And I had a black hood, pulled down.

"What do you think, kid?" I asked. "This is the new outfit. I'm thinking I look like a ninja, or maybe Robin Hood or something."

Paul looked me over.

"Not bad," he decided. "But with the hood up, you look like a kidnapper."

'Not a ninja?"

"Kind of a ninja. But I'm definitely getting kidnapper vibes here. You're not going to wear the forest ranger jacket again, are you?"

"No, that was for Covid. I'm done with the forest ranger jacket."

"Okay. What happened to the skull gloves?"
"I traded them for these plain black ones. You like the skull gloves?"

"Yeah, I liked those."
"Maybe I'll re-add the skull gloves."

"There's a Seven-Eleven over there. Can I get a hot dog?"

"Yeah. I'll buy you a hot dog."

We walked peaceably down the street while Paul ate his hot dog. I was pointing out stores and things I remembered from Philadelphia when I was a kid. I saw a sign and said,"The Betsy Ross House! Do you want to see the Betsy Ross House?"

"Sure."

"Have you learned about Betsy Ross in school?"

"A little. Didn't she put nineteen stars on the flag because there were nineteen states?"

"Yeah, that's right. The house is said to be haunted, maybe Betsy Ross herself." I got my EMF detector out of the pocket, and turned it on. It didn't react for a minute, and then flared up to .14, and then back down. 

"Now, that's interesting. And now it's back to nothing. Yeah, kid, we may have a ghost here."

I sat at the small desk, maps spread out in front of me. I'd sent Chloe a message asking where Benjamin Franklin was supposed to be haunting. I was drinking coffee from the only mug that had been provided---The Airbnb people had left us ten coffee pods but one mug. Michelle came out of the bedroom.

"How's the kid?" I asked.

"Still asleep. Where are you off to?"
"Thought I'd take a walk, do a little exploring and investigating. There's plenty of haunted spots around."

"No Bigfoot this time?"

"You don't get a lot of Bigfoot sightings in downtown Philadelphia. I checked."

"How long are you going to be out?"

"Probably not too long. I promised Paul we'd take him shopping a bit later. I think he might like the Fashion District."

My cell phone blipped. I checked my messages---Chloe had answered my question: Independence Hal.

I smiled.

The kid had come through.

I walked through Philadelphia wearing the new uniform. Turning south, I went toward the City Tavern. It had been a meeting place of the Founding Fathers, when they'd wanted a beer, and if that was the catalyst I figured we should send a few cases over to the White House right now. It had burned down, but a reproduction had been rebuilt, and it was thought to be haunted by a bride who'd died in the fire.

The new outfit was working. It did what I needed it to do, and in the city, it didn't stand out excessively. In Lock Haven, where I was known, I could get away with a lot. I'd wondered about Philadelphia, but it wasn't attracting a whole lot of attention. I'd already passed like six guys with similar chest rigs.

I got to the City Tavern, which was right across from our parking garage. I pulled out the EMF detector and walked around the outside of the building. No readings initially, just like last night at the Betsy Ross House.

I found a small garden on the southwest side, and it didn't look exactly closed to the public, so I walked up into it. Pretty little place. As I walked across, I got a reading on the EMF detector---Just for a moment, and then it was gone.

I walked back and retraced my path twice, and I couldn't get it to come back again. No power lines. No lights. No reason that I could see for the flicker I'd gotten.

So, maybe a ghost. It made at least as much sense as the Philly Phanatic.

Philadelphia knows what it is. The city promotes its historic sites with the same intensity it pushes food trucks on the corner. I walked through the historic district with my EMF detector, reaching Independence Hall.

It's amazing to me, the way you can just....Be somewhere. Two hundred and forty-nine years ago, our entire country was created right here, just a few blocks from where we were staying. And here I was, in the same place that great men had walked. All you have to do is sit in a car forever, and you can just be there, in the same place they'd been. There's really something magical about it.

My EMF detector did it again---A spike, for a few seconds, and then a drop to zero. No reason for it. No lights or cables. I lowered it to the ground to test---Other places I did this routine, I'd attracted stares. In Philadelphia, I wasn't even close to the most unusual thing going on today. No readings, meaning that underground wires weren't causing the signal.

I smiled. I'd have to tell Chloe.

We walked through Franklin Park, looking at the Chinese Lantern festival. I had to admit, it was worth the trip. Elaborate, colorful Chinese lanterns were on display throughout the park, in a variety of shapes. My personal favorite was the bear.

We walked through a tunnel of lanterns, made to look like flowers with bees flying among them,

"Bees," I said. "Why did it have to be bees?"

"Can I get a hot dog?" asked Paul.

We sat at a table with hi shot dog, and he ate half in a single bite. Michelle smiled. "This is wonderful. I've always wanted to come to one of these things."

"I got to go shopping this morning," said Paul. "This is the best day ever!"

"My favorite part, buddy, was walking around the city with you," I told him.

I'd been on plenty of trips with the family. Me being me, I'd always had to have some sort of a side quest---I always tried to find out where the ghosts and cryptids were, have something to sneak off and go investigate. And more than once, I'd been so excited about the upcoming adventure that I'd almost missed the smaller moments.

It hadn't been like that, this time. I'd been enjoying all of it, every little stop along the way. I'd been having a good time with my kid, and not trying to leap forward to the next thing.

Maybe, finally in my fifties, I was learning to enjoy the moment.

"Well," I said,"All I need to do is find a Philosopher's Stone, and I'll be having a pretty good vacation, too."

I sat at the small desk, drinking coffee. Outside, the sun was rising over the Delaware River. I was wearing my black alien T-shirt. It was already looking to be a nice day.

Michelle came out of the bedroom. She said,"Is there still coffee?"

"Should be plenty. How's the kid?"

"Still asleep."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. I got all my stuff packed."

"We have to be out of here at ten. And he has dance tonight."

"We'll be headed home in plenty of time," I said. "I just want to hike out to the Cave of Kelpius, and then we'll be on our way."

"Hermit Lane," I said. "Pull in there. It's named after the hermits who lived here."

"Seriously?" asked Michelle.

"Oh yeah, really. Back around 1700, they were pretty big in the area. Look, there's a playground we can park in. Paul, you want to come with me, or stick around the playground?"

"I think I want to play," said Paul.

"Okay." I got out of the car. "I'll be back soon."

Wearing the new uniform, I walked through Wissahickon Park. I followed the trails listed on my map---I like working in a print shop; I can print off as many maps as I want. The park was a nice place, with a lot of forest area to explore. 

I came out of the forest in what appeared to be a backyard. An elaborate garden surrounded what appeared to be an old mansion. It could be the hermitage where the monks had lived, but it was equally possible that I'd gotten misdirected and stumbled into someone's private property.

No, it was the hermitage. I walked up the stone stairs alongside, and found another trail. After a moment to check the map again, I walked down into the woods.

After a while, the path split off to the right. I took the turn, and made my way along a winding footpath that led up and over a hill....And there it was.

The Cave of Kelpius.

I stopped to admire it for a moment. It reminded me of my father's root cellar, back on the farm. A small stone door built into the hillside sat next to a stone monument that explained who Kelpius had been. I took it all in, standing in the woods. I'd wanted to come explore this place for fifteen years....And now I was here.

I'd actually made it.

I stepped inside and looked around. The stone walls surrounded a dirt floor, a little bit smaller than Paul's bedroom. After a moment, I walked back out into the sunlight.

A path led down to the river. I followed it, and a few minutes later, came out beside Wissahickon Creek.

This was where Daniel Geissler had stood, and thrown artifacts into the water. Or buried them, depending on exactly which version of the legend you selected. 

I walked back and forth along the path for a moment. Then I stopped, and began to make a few concentric circles through the woods, walking with my EMF detector. At one point, I got a faint flicker, and I stopped there and looked around.

In one spot, there was a place where the grass was growing differently than the rest. For about a foot, the grass looked mangled, twisted.

Like there was something underneath it, affecting the way it grew.

I knelt down beside it. I pulled a trowel out of my pouch---I'd loaded the new outfit up with all sorts of useful stuff---And began digging.

About a foot and a half down, I found it.

Something was there. I wriggled it out of the ground. It was wrapped in a sort of waxy parchment paper that fell apart as I lifted it. And as the paper fell away, I saw it.

A stone.

It was roughly egg-shaped, golden and glittering. Like nothing I'd seen along the path. It sparkled in the sun as I held it up.

The Philosopher's Stone. The stone that Kelpius had believed to be the mystical one.

I slipped it into my pocket and stood up. I started walking back up the path. My family would be waiting.

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time in Philadelphia, Dad," said Tif.

She was finishing up dinner at the table. I was washing the dishes. I said,"Yeah, it was great. Did some exploring and some ghost hunting, Paul went shopping, Michelle got her Chinese lantern festival. We had a good time."

"Good."

"So, you want to see the new look?"

Tif's eyes lit up. "Yes!"
I walked out, and came back a minute later wearing the new uniform. She looked it over. "I like it."

"It does what I need it to do. It's functional, carries my stuff, and I've wanted a hood for years now. I think it's got kind of  a ninja look."

"I'm getting Robin Hood, for sure."

"Yeah, there's some Robin Hood in there, too."

"So how about the Philosopher's Stone? Did you find that?"

I grinned.

"Funny you should ask."

It ended the way it began---Having coffee with Chloe.

"So how was Philadelphia?" she asked me, sitting across from me in the little café on Main Street.

I smiled. "It was pretty amazing. We had a great time, saw a lot of cool stuff. We all got to do something we liked. Michelle got her Chinese lantern festival, Paul got to shop...."
Chloe grinned. "I can understand that."

"....And I got to hunt ghosts. By the way, thanks for helping out with that."

"Well, thanks for letting me. A lot of the time, people will say they might ask for help, but they don't. So it was nice that you followed through."

"Well, I really did need the help. And maybe you helped me find Benjamin Franklin's ghost." And I was pretty sure I'd also found a new partner.

She leaned across the table. "So, did you bring it?"

I brought out the Philosopher's Stone and showed her. "See? It sparkles. It was pretty much right where I expected it to be."
"That's really cool. I mean, what are the odds?"

"There's always an adventure out there, kid," I said.

Gaywatch

Nobody becomes a paranormal investigator for the food. But sometimes it works out that way anyway. 

We usually meet at Millie's. She has the biggest house. So we were sitting around the table snacking---We had some coconut cake, chips, and sodas. I sat around the table with both teams---Millie, Tim, Ashlin, Devaughn, Pete, and Vince. It was the best meeting we'd had in a while.

"Here's your ticket for the Hiawatha cruise, Ashlin," I said, handing her an envelope. "Been hanging onto it since the last meeting."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll be seeing you guys there."

"Does it take all night?" Millie asked.

"Nah," I said. "Been on the cruises before. It's only a couple of hours."

"I think it's from seven until nine," said Vince.

"That sounds right," I said. "I'm gonna get an article out of it."

"West Branch Pride sold out of tickets again," said Tim. "This makes the fourth year in a row."

"There's an old legend of a ghost along the river," I said. "A Henry Shoemaker story...The Siren of the Susquehanna. A Native American girl who was killed by a jealous lumberman, so her ghost waits by the side of the river singing to lure people in. I'm gonna smuggle in some of my equipment to take some readings while we're onboard."

"I'll let security know," said Tim,"To avoid any problems."

I nodded. "Should be mostly just my all-in-one EMF detector. I don't see the need to wear my whole tac vest on a gay pride cruise."

Tim grinned. "Want some more coconut cake?"

"Do you guys know what ICE is?"

This from Paul, just before bed. Michelle glanced at me; we had that telepathy that comes when you've been married for twenty-two years. Her look said This one's all yours.

I nodded. I got this.

She left the room. I sat down on Paul's bed.

"Yeah, I know ICE. We're talking about the government agency, right?"
"Yeah. Some of my friends are scared."

"I don't blame them, really. It's pretty scary lately. They're rounding up people who came from other countries, and sending them back. Or, in some cases, people who were even born here."

"I have a friend who doesn't speak much English," said Paul. "And he says he just wants to hide in the bathroom."

"I can see where he'd be worried. It's a very scary time. Now, so you know, you're an American citizen, so you don't have to worry. Okay?"

"I'm African-American. Does that mean I'm half African and half American?"

"No, your ancestors were from Africa, but you're also full American."

"Will my friends get taken away by ICE?"

"I hope not. And if I can help, I will." I tugged his blanket up over him. "Things are gonna be okay, little man. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Check it out, kiddo," I said, pointing as we pulled into the parking lot. "That's the boat."

"Cool!" said Paul

The Hiawatha, a huge paddleboat, sat at the bank of the Susquehanna River, festooned with Pride flags and rainbow decorations. Tim was waiting when we walked up the ramp and into the lower level, and he gave me a hug.

"Millie's already on board," he said. "Tif, I have a spot for you on the front. You guys can sit anywhere you want."

"Let's go up top!" said Paul.

We walked up and got a table. Paul asked me,"Can we go get a cupcake and a soda?"

"Sure, kiddo," I said. "Come on."

We walked down to the lower level, and I bought the kid a soda. The cupcake was free, and probably was not going to be Paul's only one of the night. When we walked back up, I bumped into an old friend.

"Lou! Hi!"
"Hi, Claire!" I said with some surprise. It had been a few years since I'd seen her. "How have you been?"

"Great! These are my friends, Kendall and Jonah."

I shook a couple of hands. She said,"I love the ghost shirt. Doing any investigating?"

"Oh sure." I had my rainbow ghost shirt on. I got out my all-in-one. "Brought my EMF detector today."

"I wondered what that was," commented Jonah. "I thought it was some sort of walkie talkie."

"Looks like that, actually. But it measures electricity and magnetism."

"And that's a sign of a ghost?"

"It can be. I like this model because if you press this button, it measures temperature, too. So that means I don't have to carry around several pieces of equipment. It's easier."

"That's cool."

"I'm looking into a legend of a ghost along the river tonight. She was a murdered girl from an old legend, and is said to sing to lure in people....The Susquehanna Siren."

Jonah smiled. "I think we just found our trivia team name! Unless you were going to use it."
"Nah, my wife would just give me that look. You go right ahead." I got out my EMF detector and turned it on, and almost instantly got a little flicker. "Oh, now, that's interesting."

"Are you getting something already?" Claire asked.

"I am, a little bit. I need to look into this some more."

The boat gave a very gentle lurch, and we were off.

Ashlin sat at our table, across from my wife. I looked over at her and grinned. "Who would have thought, a million years ago when you were waiting on me at the grocery store, one day we'd be on a Pride cruise together?"

She grinned back at me. "I did not see this coming."

I got up and gave her a hug. "You know you've become one of my best friends."

"You, too."

Tim came over, and I joined him at the railing overlooking the back of the boat. We watched the paddlewheel go around.

"Neat, isn't it?" he said. "Too bad it's fake."

"I didn't actually know that until you said it," I said.

"Yeah, it's actually powered by an engine."

"I'm thinking of ditching the tactical vest for a while," I said.

Tim understood immediately. I knew he would.

"ICE," he said.

I nodded.

"Yeah. I got a rinabow ally patch on there, but still....I don't want to be scaring anyone, or having problems."
"Yeah, you notice I quit wearing mine."

"I'm thinking of a temporary redesign. I've done it before, for similar reasons. I'll be working on that for a while. Maybe something a little more Robin Hood."
Tim smiled.

"Robin Hood is good."

Paul came over. I said,"Having a good time, buddy?"
'Yeah!"

"You see those little islands in the river? Those are log booms. Back in the 1800s, guys used to stand on them with long poles and sort out the logs for the lumber companies."

"Cool."

"You want to help me look for the Susquehanna Seal? It's supposed to be in this river someplace."

"Sure."

"I got a binoculars."

"Oooh! Gimmie."

I handed him the little cheap folding binoculars. "Here, you unfold them like this. No, you're looking through the wrong end. Like that." I was actually glad that I had the string to wear them around your neck, or I might end up with binoculars on the bottom of the Susquehanna.

"It makes everything look close up!"

"Have fun, little man."

Paul leaned over the railing, raised his hands, and called out,"I'm flying, Jack! I mean, Dad!"
"Actually, it's okay with me if you don't use my real name when you do that."

"Oh, come on."

I stepped forward, and Paul stood behind me, and I shouted out,"King of the world!"

You have to do that.

With Tim circulating the boat and Paul on guard against water cryptids, I walked around a bit with the EMF detector. I got a few flickers where I shouldn't have, always a good sign.

Tif was still downstairs where I'd left her, wearing her bright rainbow dress. "You doing okay, honey?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she said. "Paul came by and gave me a rainbow party hat."

I went inside to the bar and got a beer for about $3.50---Normally I never drink while investigating, but I figure you can probably get away with in on a Pride cruise. I returned to the front of the boat.

I leaned over the front rail and looked out at the river. A guy with a beard came over to me. "Enjoying the view?"

"Checking for water monsters."

He went someplace else.

I got out the EMF detector, sipped my beer, and took some readings. It shot up to .12 at one point, which was good. Could be the Susquehanna Siren.

It was not bad, being here with some of my best friends and my family. It was another one of those wonderful times, one of those times you'll never forget.

Paul came to join me as we pulled back into the dock. He had an armload of the table decorations he'd begged off of people---Noisemakers, party hats, and tapestries.

"You have a good time, little man?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Paul.

We stood together as the boat docked back alongside the Susquehanna River.

As we disembarked, I passed Claire and her friends again. She grinned over at me.

"Find anything?" she asked.

"A few flickers I need to look into," I said, smiling. "It's been a good night."

Dance Dance Apparition: Part One

"Paul has his dance competitions coming up," I said. "It runs for like four straight weeks. We have weekends in Lancaster, New Castle, and the Lancaster again. Thanks for printing out the maps and schedules."

I was making notepads for a Sugar Valley store. Emily was hanging out with me in my work area, and we were talking, as we often do.

"No problem, Lou," she said. "Glad to help out."

"Well, you can help out a bit more," I said. "I'll probably be sending you a few messages while I'm there. You're under no obligation to respond, or keep an eye on your phone, or whatever. But I like to feel like I'm connected; like there's someone at home to message."

She nodded. "That's understandable."

"So you're my lifeline, Em."

Emily grinned. "Happy to be your lifeline, Lou."

"If I get a chance, I'm gonna get out exploring," I said. "Lancaster is America's oldest inland city; there's gotta be a few ghosts. I found a legend of a ghost stagecoach that rides through there, and a walking statue in a cemetery. And my friend Kevin sent me an article about a water cryptid down there, and I might look into that."
"Yeah, I printed the article out for you."

"Yeah, thanks for that, too."

"You're a good dad," she said. "I can't imagine Lou without Paul."

I smiled.

"I was there at the time," I said,"And I can't, either."

When we got to the apartment in Lancaster, Paul did what he usually does---Inspected the place thoroughly, checking for traps, cameras, and secret doors. I don't know where he gets this stuff.

"This is nice," commented Michelle.

"Nicer than our place," I agreed. 

She looked in the kitchen. "They have a sign up saying not to drink the water."

"I wonder why."

"I don't know. They have jugs in the fridge that we can use for drinking."

"Probably something like my dad's place," I said,"Where there's a lot of sulphur in the ground and you can taste it in the water."

"Your dad has well water."

"My dad has not-so-well water."

I walked around a bit. The apartment was set up in a way that you could walk all the way around in a square, with the living room, kitchen, and bedroom along the route. There was a big bookshelf in one corner, and I looked it over. It seemed to be mainly religious and Republican works, which I wasn't so interested in. One book caught my eye, and I removed it to look it over.

It was a small paperback spell book. It looked like it had been left by a previous tenant. Black cover, white title: Der Langer Verborgener Freund. Written by a man who'd lived in Lancaster. Inside was a bunch of spells for health, luck, crime prevention, and so on.

Paul rounded the corner and came in. "When do we eat? I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"I'm growing."

"We can go now, and hit the buffet. I could eat something, too."

"So, you enjoying the buffet, little man?" I asked.

"Bet!" Paul said enthusiastically. "I love this! I'm going to go back for ten more plates!"

Paul loved the buffet; he went back for several slices of pizza and some hamburgers. He'd also managed about $3.50 worth of dessert items. I enjoyed it myself; I started with a salad and then moved on to the steak and seafood. Doesn't take me too long to get my money's worth.

The waitress stopped and looked at my shirt. "Are you really a paranormal investigator?" she asked.

I had the black shirt that said "Paranormal Investigator" on it. I looked down at myself for a moment. "I really am."
"No way!"

"Oh, sure." I gave her one of my cards. "Mostly up around Clinton County, but we're in town for a dance competition."

"That's so cool! There's plenty of haunted places around here. Have you heard about the cemetery?"

"I have; gonna try that if I get a chance."

"That's neat. I hope you find something." She moved off to gather plates.

I said to Michelle,"I forgot I was wearing this one."

Paul's first dance was "Respect." We had to get up way too early in the morning to get him to the hotel, which was the largest hotel I'd ever seen. After a while, we figured out where his dressing room was, and at his insistence, I left him there. A little while later, his friends from the team showed up, and he gathered with them.

I watched them run around the lobby and the ballrooms for a while, in the company of two of the moms. One of them looked into the crowd of kids, and said,"There's mine. I can spot the red hair."

"Yeah," I said,"Paul stands out in a crowd, too."

The other mom said,"Mine looks exactly like all the rest of them."

"Don't worry. As long as she stays with the other two, she'll be fine."

We watched the kids until it was time to go on. They got up onstage, and did their dance.

Paul's team. His people; the ones he was happy with. This was his thing. I had Millie, Ashlin, and Tim, and he had his dance group. They finished their dance and left the stage.

The announcer came out to give out the awards. 

"Second place....Team Edge! Respect!"

Paul walked up to receive the award.

That's my boy.

One thing about dance competitions; they wear the kid out. After the dance, we went back to the apartment and he collapsed on the couch for a while.

I went to the bedroom and changed into my LHPS uniform. I put on one of my vests---The travel model with the logo on it---And slung a pouch of equipment over my shoulder. I sent a message to Emily letting her know how things were going, and told Michelle,"I'm gonna go out for a walk."

"Have fun." Michelle was concentrating on a game on her cell phone.

I went outside. I wanted to get a water sample from Mill Creek, and check on the Sea Dog, the water cryptid from 1885. The Sea Dog had been spotted in the Susquehanna, but Mill Creek came off of the Susquehanna, so it was all the same water.

The creek was closer than I'd expected. I walked down a fairly steep slope, across the lawn, and was there. I walked around for a while, looking for a good place to go down and get some water. I found a short slope where I could walk down and collect some, and I got a sample container out of my bag, walked down, and dipped some water out.

I climbed back up to the grass, and there were geese.

Goddamn it. Geese. I'd dealt with these bastards before, showing up to bully me when I tried to get a water sample. There were several of them, all coming toward me and acting all badass.

I turned and ran. There was no way I was going to take on a bunch of geese in hand-to-hand combat. They chased me across the grass. I stopped and lifted the corners of my vest, making myself look bigger and more threatening. They weren't really intimidated. I ran back up the hill, and they decided I wasn't worth the trouble.

When I got back to the patio, Paul was waiting there. "They have a sign up that you're not supposed to go down there, I think," he said.

"Also some vicious guard geese. Let's not tell your mother. Want to help me run a litmus test on this water sample?"
"Sure."

We walked inside and dipped a piece of litmus paper in the water. "Seven," said Paul.

"You guys should test the faucet water," said Michelle. "See why we can't drink it."

"That's not a bad idea," I admitted. We tried the faucet water, and the paper immediately turned a deep green.

"That looks like a nine," commented Paul.

"It wouldn't support much life," I said. "Too acidic. No wonder we can't drink it; we'd be better off just sucking water out of the creek."

"Are you guys hungry?" Michelle asked. "I know you wanted to check out that place where they're having the cryptid festival in June, and there was that cemetery...."

"Lancaster Cemetery," I said. "We can check that out before dinner."

"Her name was Augusta Bitner," I said. "There are a couple of different stories, but they all seem to involve her dying in some sort of accident or illness while she was engaged. She was buried in Lancaster Cemetery, with a statue of her there. According to the stories, the statue comes to life and walks around at night."

"Do I have to not blink?" Michelle asked.

"I think it's not until sundown. Turn here."

Lancaster Cemetery is nice. Not the most elaborate I've ever seen, but pretty. It's not Erie Cemetery, but it's not Stech-Simcox, either. We stopped at a roundabout in the cemetery.

"I think it's that way," I said. "North."

"That's just a grass path," said Michelle. "I don't want to drive down there."

"I'll walk it, and check it out."

I could see the statue as I approached from a distance; it was easy to find and only about fifty feet away. I pulled out my EMF detector and checked---No readings at all. I stopped at the statue, looking it over. It was a girl, about six feet tall, with a pillar next to her. It had her name, the dates of birth and death, and a phrase: "Could love have kept her?"

There was a small pile of coins on the base of the statue, probably a couple of dollars. A couple of other trinkets---Keychains, a plastic coin, a small plastic heart. I dropped a penny on the pile.

I waved toward the jeep, trying to signal Paul and Michelle. Nothing. I waved both arms over my head, and nothing continued to happen. Probably both staring at their goddamn cell phones. I walked back to the van and opened the door.

"I found it," I said. Both of them were looking at their phones. "You want to see it?"

"I'll wait here," said Paul. "I'm wearing shorts, and it's cold out."

"I'll come," said Michelle.

So we walked back to the statue.

"Is it really haunted?" Michelle asked.

"Probably not," I said. "I'm not getting any readings. But this thing gets lots of attention." I pointed to the pile of coins and trinkets. "This is probably within the past week; I'm betting the cemetery association clears this up all the time. So people come to visit, and they tell stories. And it's because of that."

I pointed to the phrase: "Could love have kept her?"

"That's dramatic," I said. "It's memorable, and it suggests a story. People see that and want to talk about it. She died in 1906. That phrase, right there, is exactly what's kept the legends going for the last century or so. That's what makes people tell stories about the statue."

"Getting late, little guy," I said to Paul. "You have another big day tomorrow. Time to finish your tea and get to bed."

He nodded. He was sitting at the counter, drinking a cup of tea I'd made him and watching videos on his cell phone. "I like a little noise," he said. "It helps me sleep."

"Not sure that's how I've always experienced it," I said,"But okay." I sat down with him. "You did good today, buddy. Your whole team did."

"I like competition dance," he said. "I'm glad I signed up for it. I really like it."

I smiled.

"I'm glad," I said. "You do seem to be getting a lot out of it."
"It's fun," he said. "Doing all this stuff with Team Edge."

I nodded. I know how it goes, being part of a team. I have Millie, Tim, and Ashlin; Paul has Willow, Josie, Juliet, Tall Addie, Short Addie, Lili, Sophia, and all the others whose names I don't bother to memorize. 

He thrives in dance class; since signing him up during COVID, I'd seen him come a long way. He'd really grown into it. I had my things. This was his.

"I'm proud of you, buddy," I said. "That's my boy."