Shirley You Can't Be Serious

"Kelli, has anyone stopped in asking for me?" I asked when I got into the office of the Hecht Building.

Kelli shook her head. "Not yet. Were you expecting someone?"

"Two of the team. Since we've had a lot of activity lately, we thought we might stop by and take a few readings if that's okay."

"Oh, sure. Did I tell you about the bag full of stuff that fell over?"

"Yeah, while the store was closed. Nobody was even here."
I walked across the street to the Dollar Store---Also haunted---And picked up a Pepsi, and by the time I got back, Lex and Jay were arriving at the print shop.

I gave them a hug. "Hi, guys. Thanks for coming. I figure since we're getting a spike in activity, might as well..."
"Might as well check it out," said Lex. "Hell yeah. Let's go."

"Do we need the recorders?" asked Jay. We set our packs on the table.

"I figure this will be a quick one. Maybe we'll depend mostly on the EMFs for this. Come on, I'll show you where some stuff fell off the shelf in the back room."

"Did anyone die in here?" asked Jay.

"We had a murder in the basement in 1962," I said. "Back when this place was a department store, a guy robbing the place shot a clerk named Shirley down in my basement."

"Oh my god. Really?"

"Really. Got all the newspaper articles about it at home. I'll show them to you later. There, that shelf---That's where something fell off for no reason. And it's not like anyone was over here; this stuff sits on the shelf for months at a time."

Jay held up her EMF detector. "I'm getting a reading. Is that...."

"There's a wire behind it," said Lex.

I tried with my detector. "Yeah, that's definitely hot."

The boss came down and walked to the color printer. I said,"Hey, boss. Since it's slow, I thought I'd show my friend around and we'd take a few readings if that's okay."

He grinned. "Sure, that's fine."

"Come on, I'll show you guys my haunted basement."

"We get to see your cave?" said Lex with some delight.

"Sure, nobody goes down there but me. Come on."

On the way down the steps, Jay's detector spiked all the way to red. I said,"Now, that's weird. I practice down here a lot, and I don't get too many readings."

"Nice detector," said Jay.

"I like this one. It's the all in one model; it does EMFs and temperature, and even has a little flashlight on the back."

"Where did Shirley die?" Jay asked.

"Right about there-ish. This is all one building, and it used to be a department store. This wall wasn't here, and her body was found right on the other side of it. See, that hole there is where, if I wanted to crawl through the ducts like Die Hard, I could get over into the furniture store."

We walked back through the big basement---I'm so used to the place by now, sometimes I forget just how much space is down there. "That's where we keep the holidays decorations. Up here is where I work; I made that table out of an old palette. This area up here is all this open space, so sometimes I come down and play with some of the sports equipment that the boss's sons left back in the Nineties."

Jay glanced at the pink string lights through the small window. "What's in there?"
"That's my office."

I opened the door and flicked on the lights. Jay looked inside and said,"Oooh."

Lex saw the signs on the door. "Warning, High Ghost Area. Raystown Ray Not Allowed. Do Not Feed The Jersey Devil."

"I make those sometimes while I'm warming up the laminator."

Sometimes I forget that my office was just a little storage space before I'd moved in. I'd cleaned some stuff out, left a recliner, brought in a chair, constructed myself a desk from two small tables, and added a computer. And now I had a quiet, cozy little office space all my own.

"This is actually nice," commented Lex. Chloe and Paul had both visited me in my secret underground hideout, but very few other people even realized it was there. It was a little like having Green Lanterns in the Batcave.

"I spent a lot of time down here unwinding. You know how in a lot of workplaces, you have that spot you go to cry? I don't really need that because this is a pretty good job, but I do have this little place all my own down here."

"Getting another reading," said Jay. "Does Shirley ever come in here?"

"I think so. I've told her she's going to be my secretary. If you hire a ghost, you don't have to worry about cost of living raises."

"Did you find anything?" Kelli asked when we got back up.

"We got some readings on the detectors," I said. 

"Are you going to stop next door and check it out? You said there had been some stuff happening there, too."

"You know, that's not a bad idea. I bumped into Misty in the alley, and she told me the TVs had been turning on by themselves."

"We got time," Lex pointed out.

The woman at the counter smiled at me when I walked in. "Hi! Got another poster for us to hang up?"

I grinned. "Not this time, no. We're doing a little paranormal investigation, and I was wondering if you'd mind if we checked things out in your basement a bit."
"We haven't had much happen...."

"Well, the TVs have been turning on by themselves," said the man next to her.

"We should check with Will," she said. "Go get him."

The man took off. I said,"We don't want to be a problem---"

"Don't worry. I think he'll like this."

A moment later, a Hispanic guy came from the back room; I'd chatted with him in the alley before. "Come on down," he said. "I kind of want to watch this."

We walked downstairs and unloaded our backpacks. Jay was showing some of the equipment to Will, and Lex elbowed me. "Look at her, teaching him everything."

"She's come a long way." Just a couple of months ago, Jay had been very hesitant about any kind of public appearance.

I pointed the laser thermometer around the room. "Temp steady at mid-sixties."

"Look at these beds," said Jay.

"If I were haunting this place, I'd spend all day lounging around on these mattresses," I commented.

"Well, now I won't want to come down here anymore," added Will. "Let me turn the lights on for you back here."

We walked into one of the back rooms, taking readings. I said,"This place is way bigger than I realized."

Lex had her thermal imager out. I like the thermal imagers, and hers is even nicer than mine. She said,"Jay, just stand there where you are a minute."

"Something interesting?" I asked.

"Yeah. This concrete floor is so reflective that I'm seeing the heat reflecting on it." Lex showed me the screen, and I could see the red and orange of Jay's body, and, yes, there was a blue reflection in the floor underneath.

"Huh. I've never seen that before."

"Right?!"

"So what's the scariest thing you guys have ever seen on an investigation?" asked Will. "I mean, what scares even you?"

"Some of the clients," I said immediately.

"There was a house in Gettysburg," said Jay. "The Farnsworth House. Lex won't go in that one anymore."

"Oh, yeah, that one," said Lex.

When we got back upstairs, Jay immediately said,"Babe, look at this couch." She sat down on it. "Isn't this nice? We should buy it."

"Jay, we just got a couch."

"But we didn't get this couch."

Lex rolled her eyes. Will said,"If you two need a couch, I'll make you a great deal. You can come in anytime."

"Babe," said Jay.

"You know, if you guys aren't doing anything, we could always see if we can find Shirley's grave," I said.

"Could we?" asked Jay.

"I don't see why not. I just need to stop back at the print shop a minute before we leave."

I walked to the shelves in the print shop, by Tom's desk. He said,"You're back!"

"Yeah, we're going to go find Shirley's grave. I figured I'd just stop in here for the records instead of running all the way home, because we printed them."

I flipped through the box; I'd used the cemetery records so many times it was easy. A moment later, I was back out in the office, where Jay and Lex were waiting.

"She's in Rest Haven," I said. "Let's go."

It was a pleasant day, and we sat in the grass around the small gravestone. Shirley's stone.

"I've been working at the print shop for almost two years now, and this is the first time I've ever been out here," I said. "I never saw this one before."

"Now you're here," said Jay.

"I got you a photo," Lex said.

"All this time, I never got to the grave. I've worked where she worked, where she died....but this is the first time."

I looked down at the grave, mounted in the grass.

"We've had a pretty good day," I said.