It's A Zoo In Here

It had become almost a summer tradition for me, my visit to Hyner Run. I was invited to give a talk at their summer events every year, and, being me, I usually went with a side quest. I walked down to the usual spot, a quiet, grassy place near the bridge.

This year, I'd decided to follow up on the possible existence of silver in the area, a holdover from an investigation during the spring. I dropped my pack and knelt near the water. Dipping a piece of litmus paper into the stream, I checked---A dull yellow-green. Almost perfectly neutral.

I got out a metal plate from my old mess kit. I dipped it into the water and scooped up some of the silt from the bottom, swishing it around in circles. Most people assume that you can only pan for gold, but you can do it with silver, too.

I wasn't finding much. A few small pieces of quartz. I crept under the bridge and tried again on the upstream side of the creek. Then I saw something in the water---Something big, sort of slithering upstream.

I dropped the plate and moved after it.

It was big, much bigger than the minnows I'd been seeing. Swimming its way upstream. I chased it, losing ground. Running alongside the creek, I dashed up through the forest.

It was still going. I took two steps over large rocks and leaped to the other side, running up through the mud. I chased it rapidly upstream for about a hundred yards before it vanished from sight. I was going to look great for my speech.

"So you didn't find silver?" Paul asked as we ate at McDonald's.

"Not really. A little quartz, which is an indicator, but it doesn't really prove anything."

"And you saw a water monster."

"Could have been the Susquehanna Seal. Could have been a large catfish. I didn't get close enough to get a photo."

"Well, that sucks."

"Might get another chance at a water cryptid," I said,"You know how we're going to the Pittsburgh Zoo on a bus trip with your mom's company on Sunday, right?"

"Yeah! Are you packing snacks?"

"They're already packed."

"Did you get fruit snacks?"

"I'll get fruit snacks. Been doing a little research. You know in the Pittsburgh rivers there's a water monster called the Ogua?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Seems to be a giant turtle sort of thing that people see sometimes. On the way in, we take a bridge over the Allegheny River. Maybe we can check for it."

"That'd be cool."
"There's also sewergators in Pittsburgh."
Paul looked up rapidly. "Wait, really?"

"Well, there have been witnesses."

"There's sewergators in one of the games I play."

"Oh, that's cool. You want to check into sewergators?"

"Yeah, I do."

"We can add that to the list of things to do while we're there."

It was hot, and getting hotter, as Paul and I left McDonald's and rode our bikes down to the Clinton Plaza Pharmacy. I got the package out of my pack as we walked in.

"You have everything, Daddy?" Paul asked.

I nodded. "I packed up the heart monitor this morning. Yesterday was the last day I need it, so I ripped the thing off me this morning, and put it all in the box."

I got in line while Paul went and browsed the shelves. The cashier said,"Is that all you're shipping?"

"That'll do."

"Do you need a receipt?"
"Yes, please." Probably a few thousand dollars worth of medical equipment in there.

And I sent it off---The last of the testing equipment from my hospital stay. 

Paul showed up with a little hand-held fan that seemed to operate with no blades. "Isn't this cool, Daddy?"

It was about a hundred degrees out. I said,"You want it, don't you?"
He nodded.

"How much is it?"
"$3.50."

I turned to the cashier. "Add this too, please."

My wife's company does these occasional bus trips for morale. It's even good for my morale; these things get me out of Clinton County and off experiencing places I usually wouldn't get to. I'd come up with a functional arrangement for these things---I had a small pack, which would go into the zoo with me, and contained just a couple of items that I'd need. It was inside my usual pack, which I would leave on the bus, and that one prepared me for everything. I'd used the "pack-in-pack" arrangement for a couple of years, and it worked well. As I'd discovered when I'd gone to pack the little one, and found items from the last couple of trips in there.

"I looked it up," I told Michelle. "There are two ways to get to Pittsburgh. The fast way, and the less efficient way. This bus driver somehow found a slower third way."

"How can you tell?"

"We're supposed to be riding along the Allegheny River. There's no way in hell we should be in a residential neighborhood."

It too about a half-hour longer than it should have, but we finally arrived at the Pittsburgh Zoo. I scored a map from a helpful employee, and we found our way to the pavilion, where a lunch was set up.

Surprisingly, there was plenty of food. Paul and I had two hamburgers each, and he went back for more iced tea a couple of times. At age ten, he's been more independent for a while, and can be left unsupervised to go fend for himself a bit. It's nice for me, but I miss the days he had to hold my hand, too.

"I want to see the red pandas," Paul announced. "And check out the gift shop."

"We'll do that," I said. "Both of those. How about you, honey?"

"I want to see the elephants."
"I'm interested in the monkey island," I said. "Pipper, while we're here, let's keep an eye out for any animal that could explain the sewergators or the Ogua. Any time you have cryptid sightings near a zoo, you have to account for the possibility of escaped animals. Now, the Ogua has been seen since 1745 and the zoo was founded in 1898, so it won't explain everything. But it's possible that some of the more modern sightings are some sort of escapee from this place."

"Okay," said Paul.

"We'll hit the gift shop, but we'll do that at the end of the day," I said. "That way we don't have to be carrying around a bunch of stuff. We have about four hours to walk around here, which should be enough time to see some really good things."

The Pittsburgh Zoo, I discovered, is set up in a really user-friendly way. It's designed in a series of loops around a central area, so that you can just walk along and see everything---You don't have to make an effort to fit everything in; you just walk along and you see it all along the way. The red pandas that Paul wanted to just happened to be the first stop.

"They seem to have a new red panda," I said. "The sign says her name is Mandy."

"Aww," said Paul, and ran right up to the glass.

I watched him as he looked through the glass, beaming at his favorite animal. Moments like this are why I became a parent in the first place.

We strolled through the zoo, looking at the animals one at a time. Elephants, tigers, exotic pigs. I took a  look at the Komodo dragons; they've always fascinated me. Paul said,"Those things will fight each other."

"So I hear," I said. "I've heard this zoo has had the occasional escape."
"Wait....Really? I'm getting out of here."

We stopped at the Galapagos Tortoises for a moment, and I looked and took a photo. The Ogua had been described as somewhat turtle-like by some witnesses, and it would explain some things if they'd had some escapees over the years. I had a feeling that, standing there at the zoo, I was looking at a real live Ogua.

We walked up the path, and rounded the loop. I grinned.

"Here it is, guys. The monkey island."

I stopped and took a photo. The concrete island was in the middle of an artificial stream, and there were two dark-colored monkeys hopping around on it. I smiled.

"When I was a kid, the monkey island was my favorite part of the Lehigh County Game Preserve," I said. "I was really looking forward to this."

"I bet the people who work here swim across to the island at the end of the day to feed the monkeys," said Paul.

I smiled. "You do, huh?" Even though he's an intelligent ten years old, sometimes he still comes up with stuff like this.

"It's one of the perks," he said. "Can we get something to drink? I'm thirsty."

"It is hot out," I said. "There's a snack bar right up here."

Paul got a pink lemonade in a plastic cup with a red panda on it. We sat at the table together, and he drank his drink happily.

"So," I said,"We've been looking into the Ogua and sewergators. Now, we have giant tortoises here, and we've seen alligators. Every zoo has the occasional escape. I know this one has."

Paul nodded, drinking his lemonade.

I laid out the map on the table. "Now, the Allegheny River runs right along here to the north. And over here is the Highland Park Reservoir. It covers the water system for a lot of the city, and connects into the sewers. And it's right next door. So, how much you want to bet that some of the Ogua and sewergator sightings are from right here in this zoo?"

Paul grinned. "I bet they are. The alligators can climb right out of here and get away."

"It doesn't happen often, but a few times would be enough to start off the sightings. Once you finish that lemonade, we'll grab a refill, and then head out and see the aquarium."

Paul nodded. "And the gift shop before we leave."

It was dark and late when we got home. Rosie and Butters were happy to see us, and I gave them some attention before I started unpacking the snacks. As I put them on the shelves, Paul took a look at the metal cup I'd bought him in the gift shop. He was already wearing the T-shirt.

"I owe you, Daddy," he said. "I didn't realize what these things cost."

"Oh, kid, don't worry about it," I said. "I expect things in tourist spots to cost more; it's all part of the experience. I want you to have good memories of these trips. Besides, you're my son."

"Well, I can give you a hug," he said.

I wrapped my arms around him, and he hugged me, there in the kitchen.

Moments like this are why I became a parent in the first place.