I Left My Heart In Williamsport

I woke up on the bathroom floor, covered in blood.

My lip was split. My nose was bleeding.

I sat up in the Lock Haven Emergency Room. My wife said,"You keep asking me the same questions."

"Shit," I said. "Concussion."

A tech leaned over me. "How do you feel? You had to get CPR."

"Did someone say stat? Tell me someone said stat. That would be really cool."

And then I was out again.

I looked out the window of the ambulance. "McElhattan. We're passing through McElhattan. There's an abandoned cemetery right over there."

The EMT leaned over me. "How do you feel?"

"I've had better mornings."

"We're taking you to the Williamsport Hospital."

I don't remember anything else after that.

I woke up in a bed in the Intensive Care Unit of Williamsport Hospital, or at least that's what I remember. Most of the morning had been flashes, fading in and out of consciousness. Michelle was in a sofa by the window. Seemed I rated a private room.

A nurse was leaning over me. "My name is Allie, and I'm taking care of you," she said. "How do you feel?"

"It's not my finest moment," I said.
"Can you tell me your name and birthdate?"
"Lou, July twenty-third."
"Do you know where you are?"

"Williamsport Hospital. There any ghosts up here?"

She smiled. "I haven't seen any myself." 

"Bigfoot maybe walk down the hall?"

"Not that I've noticed."

She began to remove my clothes and get me into a hospital gown. I saw her notice my alien belt. "Yeah," I said,"I do UFO sightings, too."

She walked to a dry erase board and started writing things down. "You had a coronary event this morning. Your heart stopped for a moment, and your heart rate has been low. We're going to take care of you. Do you have any questions?"

"You're doing a pretty good job explaining things."

"Do you have any goals while you're here?"

"I kinda want to get back home, and do my work."

She wrote Get home, work on the board.

"Wouldn't mind finding ghosts in the hospital, as long as I'm here."

She wrote Find ghosts in hospital.

Allie said,"We've been monitoring you. You're going to be in bed for observation for a while. But first we're going to give you a temporary pacemaker and see how that works."

I nodded. I asked Michelle,"How's Paul? Is Paul okay?"

"He's fine. He was at his little friend's last night, and Tif has him now. He's going to spend the night at her place."

"How's Tif?"

"She's okay. She's worried about you."

"Did you call in to work?"

"I told them you won't be in today."

"Okay."

Allie and another nurse came in. She said,"We're going to take you down to get your temporary pacemaker put in. We'll be back in a little while."

I looked over at Michelle. "See you on the other side."

The first night in the hospital sucked. So did all the other nights, but that first one was the worst. I barely slept, connected to IVs and all sorts of electronic shit. I've never been really good at sleeping on my back anyway, and not being able to roll over didn't help anything.

I tried looking out the window for UFOs. But it was pretty dark, and I only really had a view of the brick wall just opposite, so unless a UFO flew between my ward and the next one, I wouldn't see any, and that was unlikely.

Michelle brought Paul and Tif in to visit me in the morning. It was nice to see them walk in the door. Tif sat down by my bed.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm doing okay. This would not be my preference, but I'm allright. Doctor readjusted the temporary pacemaker this morning, and no further incidents with my heart."

She glanced at the board. "Did you really say one of your goals is to find ghosts?"

"As long as I'm here."

"You didn't think to make a goal of getting better?"
"I was only clinically dead."

"I fed Cookie, Daddy," said Paul.

"Good job, kiddo. Good to know the hamster's being taken care of. You have fun in day camp?"

"Yeah! Wednesday is water day!"

"Well, you're gonna like that."

"I fed the dogs," said Michelle. "At first I forgot, but they reminded me."

"They'll do that. I'm hoping to get out of here soon. I got tours to give and articles to write. Shit. I promised Laura I'd get one in for Pride Month."

"I've talked to Laura," said Tif. "She says to not worry about anything and take care of yourself."

"That's basically the plan, believe me."

"Do the doctors have any idea what happened yet?" Michelle asked.

"Hell, I've barely seen any doctors. The nurses have been great. They're all keeping an eye on me. The food is pretty good here; I really liked breakfast." I touched the stitches on my lip. "Probably shouldn't have asked for a breakfast sandwich, though."

"How bad does it hurt?" Tif asked.

"Not too bad, really. This whole experience has been shockingly pain-free."

"Mom says they had to start your heart with electricity in the ambulance."

"Yeah, even that wasn't too bad."

'You have to take this seriously, Dad."

"Tif. I promise, honey. I'm going to be okay."

Allie came into the room that night---She'd been checking on me a lot. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?"

"I'm okay. I just want this over with so I can get back home, you know?"

"Do you need to talk?"

"It's hard being stuck in a hospital bed. I want to get home and do stuff. I have articles due, and tours to give. The night before I came here, I gave a tour of Water Street, and it was great. Now, I can't even go to the bathroom without help."

"We're going to take care of you," she said. "Our goal is to get you back on your feet."

"I know. Thanks. No offense, Allie, you're like my best friend in Williamsport right now, but I really want to get out of here."

"No offense taken. I don't blame you."

Breakfast was scrambled eggs---I'd learned my lesson from the sandwich---Sausage, fried potatoes, and a cup of coffee. They had me on a heart-healthy diet, which as far as I could see was indistinguishable from actual food. If they were slipping me decaf, it actually tasted pretty good.

A nurse named Tiffny came into the room. "Would you like to get cleaned up a bit?" she asked. "We can help you."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

With Tiffny handing me things, I got washed up somewhat. She helped me brush my teeth, and I washed myself off some. I used a sort of bath cap to clean up my hair a little. It wasn't perfect, but considering how my last shower had ended, it felt pretty good.

"Would you like pants?" she asked.

"Hell, yes."

The pants turned out to be light blue pajama-like things. I'd worn dumber stuff. I was reading the latest Stephen King book, which Michelle had brought me, when Chris walked in.

"Chris!" It was surprisingly good to see him. "Thanks for coming!"
"I wrote a whole article about how I'm going to take over your tours," he said. "I'm gonna read it to you before I send it in to the Record."

"Sounds good," I said. "Can you tell them I may be a little late with this week's column?"

"They already know. You're big news, buddy. Do you need anything? Can I go mow your lawn?"
"Sadly, I already mowed it last week. It should still be good."

"Kate will come by with food later, so Michelle doesn't have to cook."

"Thanks. Food's always good. Appreciate that."

"Heard you died for thirty seconds."

"Yeah, that would be way cooler if I could remember any of it."

"No beckoning lights?"

"No lights at all, that I recall. No dead relatives. Too bad. I wouldn't mind seeing Hambone again."

He glanced at the chart. 

"Find any ghosts up here?"

"Nothing yet. In the ER in Lock Haven, they were convinced the fourth floor was haunted. Here, nobody's had any sightings or anything. I'm getting bored. Also, they won't let me out of bed."

"You heal up, buddy. I'm missing your tours."

"Hoping to get back to those soon."

While I was playing around with the TV remote, I found out that I had the option to watch movies. Which was good, as I had less than no desire to sit around watching game shows and Fox News. I ordered up Barbie and watched that, and it was as good as I remembered it. 

I sat in the dark, watching the window for UFOs. Nothing. I wanted to go home. I missed Paul. I missed Rosie and Butters. I wanted to get back to giving tours, writing articles. I wanted to wake up and be me again.

My next nurse was a redhead named Becca. She came in and helped me get cleaned up in the morning, and said,"We're taking out your pacemaker today. Your heart has been working on its own, and you don't need it."

"Good news," I agreed.

"A little later, would you like to go for a walk?"

"Is that an option? I'd love a walk. You got any haunted places in this hospital?"

She laughed. "Not that I know of. But we can walk around the ward. I'll have to follow you with a wheelchair, just in case."

"You do what you gotta do. There's a small black pouch in my pack over there, can you get it for me?"

She brought the pouch over. I got out my all-in-one EMF detector.

A little while later, Becca was helping me out of bed. I was wearing blue grip socks, the light blue pajama pants, and the hospital gown. That was going to have to be my current ghost-hunting outfit. I could feel I had a growth of stubble on my face; I hadn't been near a razor in days. Paul was going to hate that.

Becca unplugged me from everything---I was connected to a considerable number of monitors. She asked,"Any pain? Dizziness?"

"Nope. Nothing." This was true, though I wanted to get out of bed so badly I'd have lied if I was bleeding from my eyeballs.

With Becca following me with the wheelchair, I walked around the ICU in a loop. I was periodically checking my EMF detector, which remained firmly on zero. Tiffny was at the desk, and she said,"Looking for ghosts?"

"I gotta be me."

"Finding anything?" Becca asked as we walked down the hall.

"Not really. Not even anything explainable. You guys have this place wired really good."

"Is that what that measures?"

"Yeah, electrical fields. I'm getting no signs of ghosts, and no others. Your wiring is fairly good and modern, which is good." I leaned over and held it to an outlet. "Yeah, nothing. Normally, in the old houses I investigate, that would show something. You guys have really good wiring in this hospital."

We'd come back around to my room. Becca asked,"Do you feel up to going around again?"

"Yeah, I feel pretty good. Let's do it."

About halfway around, a woman met us at the room door. She said to Becca,"You should ask this guy about the Civil War. Or paranormal stories."

I grinned. There's always someone. "You recognize me, do you?"

"My husband and I attend all your talks at the senior center. When you walked by before, he said,'I think that's Lou.' And I said,'It couldn't be. What would he be doing here?'"

"Had a little bit of heart failure, actually. But I'm doing okay."

"Oh, no. You take care of yourself. We want to see more of your talks."

"I'm scheduled for next week, actually. I don't plan to skip anything."

We moved on down the hall. Around the corner, we went back to my room, and Becca let me sit in an actual chair. You have no idea what a novelty that is after being trapped in a goddamn bed for several days.

Becca came in Wednesday morning and told me I was going home, but in true hospital fashion, it didn't actually happen until the afternoon. Michelle was there all day. She'd been in most of every day while I'd been stuck in the hospital.

The doctor, whom I'd otherwise seen very little of, came to visit. "You're going to have a heart monitor for thirty days," he said. "That will give us more information, and tell us about what caused this. It'll just be a small thing, with a sticker, on your chest."

"Like Iron Man."

He smiled, but not like I'd been actually funny. "Yes. You'll have a device with you like a cell phone, and if you have any incidents, you can record it."

"Okay."

"Do you have any questions?"

"What can I do as far as activity? I ride a bike to work. I give tours."

"That would be fine. Some exercise will be good for you."

"How about coffee?"
"Coffee is okay."

"Alcohol. I usually have a beer or two before bed. Do I need to cut that back?"

"Did you drink more than usual before you collapsed?"

"No, it's been a long time since I had more than two."

"Alcohol wasn't the cause of this. So if you want to cut back for other reasons, that's good, but it didn't have any effect on this."

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

"I'll get a wheelchair," said Becca. "Michelle, you can get your car and meet us by the revolving doors."

Michelle left. Becca helped me get dressed again---I had a grey T-shirt that Michelle had brought me, nd jeans. I'd almost forgotten about jeans. She said,"I like your alien belt."

"It doubles as a bottle opener."

She rolled me down in the elevator, and I was outside for the first time in nearly a week. We found the Jeep, and she locked the wheels on the chair.

"Now, you take good care of yourself," she said. "We don't want to have you back here."

"That's the plan," I said. "Believe me."

She smiled. "Best of luck."

I climbed into the Jeep. Michelle said,"Ready to go home?"

"Been ready since Saturday."

"Paul and the dogs will be glad to see you."
"Yeah, me too."

She pulled out of the parking lot, and we started driving back to Clinton County. Back to Lock Haven. Home.