Cryptid Summer: The Yurt Locker

I put the cover on the rice, the gave the chicken a stir. Tif sat at the kitchen table, watching me cook.

"What's for dinner?" she asked.

"Pre-assembled chicken and vegetable bowls," I said. "Tracey got a book in with all sorts of bowl recipes, and it inspired me."

"Smells good. What's that sauce?"

"That's just garlic salt and oil. Did I tell you I'm getting a new editor with the Pennsylvania Wilds?"

"No. LaKeshia get tired of dealing with you?"

"She got a promotion. The new editor is named Hannah. She never responds to my e-mails, and barely communicates with me at all. I love her. She's great."

Tif laughed. "You'd rather be unsupervised."

"I tend to work best with minimal feedback."

"So when's dinner?"

"Hey, I'm working on a piece about UFOs in Jefferson County. My article on Bigfoot sightings in Bald Eagle State Park got over two hundred shares. Did I tell you about the newsletter I got with the Bigfoot tracks in Michaux State Park?"

"You get Bigfoot newsletters?"

"Also UFOs. Have to stay current."

"So there were tracks....?"

"Judging by the photos included, obvious fakes."

"How can you tell?" Tif asked.

"Bipedal creatures roll their feet as they walk. The toes and heels are deeper, and the middle is all mushy. These are too deep and clear. Let me show you." I picked up my work tablet. I hate tablets, but during COVID, I've gotten used to the one the library assigned me. I signed in and brought up the e-mail.

"I want to see," said Paul. I sat down and put him on my lap.

"Here. See how all the prints are very clear, and uniform depth? It's exactly what you'd get with a fake foot on a stick pressed into the ground. It's a fake, and not even a good one. Come on, hoaxers. Take a little pride in your work." I got up and stirred the vegetables. "Speaking of Bald Eagle State Park, your mother booked us a yurt for June."

"A yurt?...."

"It's a little like a wikiup, only bigger----"

"I know what a goddamn yurt is. You guys are going camping?"

"All of us. It's handicap accessible."

Tif looked the park up on her tablet. "Huh. That does look accessible. It's paved, so I can bring my wheelchair."

"Also there have been Bigfoot sightings. So, you know, there's my weekend."

"Stop at the main office, hon," I told my wife from the backseat. "Who wants a map?"

"Why would we need a map?" Michelle asked.

"Why would you not? Does nobody want to know how to get around?"

"I can't read a map," said Tif.

"I'll teach you."

"I can't, either," admitted Biz.

"You served in the military!"

"Military maps are different."

"I'll take a map, Daddy," said Paul.

I went into the main office and got five maps.

We drove to the yurt. I unlocked it, and we went in. It was a big, round thing with a partition in the middle. The kids fanned out a bit to explore.

"This place is bigger than my apartment," said Biz.

We let Rosie off the leash, and she ran around, sniffing everything. I walked into one of the bedrooms and dropped my pack on the top bunk. Paul said,"When we're unpacked, I want to go swimming!"

"Thought I might walk around some," I said. "I'll take Rosie and look for Bigfoot."

"I'll go along," said Biz.

"I might come, too," said Tif. "I have a fitbit, and I'm trying to get more exercise."

"I'll start a fire later," I said. "I got hot dogs for dinner. Let me bring all the stuff in."

I slung the khaki green pouch over my shoulder as we left the yurt. "Got my cryptozoology kit on me. Let's go walking."

"You have a cryptozoology kit?" Tif asked with some amusement.

"Got a kit for everything. I have different equipment in different rigs, depending on what I'm going to be investigating. UFOs, buried treasure...."

Halfway down the loop path, Tif paused on her crutches and breathed. "Gotta stop, guys. I'll wait here at the picnic table and meet up with you on the way back. You guys go on ahead."

"You sure?" I asked. "We're not in any big hurry." Aside from Rosie, who pulls hard on the leash anywhere she goes.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I can meditate while I wait."

"Okay. Catch you on the way back."

Biz and I walked down the path to the trailhead. I said,"Here we go, the footbridge path."

"How far to the footbridge?" asked Biz.

"I think we can practically see it from here. Did I tell you I got a new rifle microphone?"

"I don't think so. What's a rifle microphone?"

"It looks kind or like a ray gun with a radar dish on the front. You can use it to listen for things at a distance. I plan to use it for Bigfoot."

"Still not hunting ghosts?"

"Not at the moment." Rosie was sniffing everything she walked past; a lot of this was new to her.

"Hey! Guys!" It was Tif, calling from the trailhead. "Stay where you are! I'm coming down!"

Biz and I paused on the path and waited for Tif to come down on her crutches. "Oh," she said, looking at the path. "It's gravel."

"You made it down," I commented.

"I decided palsy could kiss my fat ass," said Tif. "I want to see the footbridge."

"Well, it's right around the corner."

We walked down the trail and turned, and there it was---The footbridge. It was made of a hundred feet of wood, stretching across the lake. 

"It looks like it's going to fall down any minute," said Tif.

"It looks like something from Middle Earth!" said Biz. "I could picture Hobbits living here."

"It's solid," I said. "Come on, let's walk out on it."

It was about one-thirty in the morning when I heard the yurt door open and close. A moment later, I heard it again. When I'd gone to sleep, Tif and Biz were still up talking, and Paul had changed his mind about his sleeping location maybe twenty times. He'd wanted the top bunk, but Rosie didn't like it. She'd actually jumped off, because the puppy has no sense of survival. Paul had bounced around for a while, finally passing out in the main room with the girls, with Rosie sleeping on the floor.

I decided I'd better get up and check what was going on. I love my daughters, and they're competent, independent women. And then every once in a while one of them forgets to not shower with a cell phone or something. Wearing my Lake Erie Monster pajamas, I climbed off the bunk.

I found Biz outside with Rosie. She said,"Tif went down to the bathrooms. I thought I'd better bring Rosie out."

I nodded. "What time did Paul pass out?"
"Maybe eleven or so. Rosie's been up and down."

"They're both all excited as hell."

"I should go check on Tif. Hold Rosie?"

I took Rosie's leash and waited as Biz walked down the path. It was a nice night; it had cooled down and things were pleasant. I could see Tif coming up the path, Biz going down to meet her. Something made a sound in the woods nearby, and I saw Biz turn with her light.

"Yeah," I called out to her. "I heard it, too."

"Bigfoot, Daddy," Tif commented as she approached.

"Sounded awfully small for Bigfoot."

"A child Bigfoot."

"Probably a raccoon or a possum." I looked up at the sky. "Can you guys see the Big Dipper? Who can tell me which way north is?"

Both of them turned and pointed in opposite directions, both wrong. I said,"It's that way. You follow the two stars at the end of the cup, and they point to the North Star."

"Oh," said Tif. "I thought it was the handle."
"I'll see you two in the morning."

Breakfast was scrambled eggs and hash, all of which Biz slept through. Rosie got all the leftovers, the spoiled little thing. As we finished up, Michelle said,"I just have to make two calls for work, and then we can make a run for supplies."

"Think I'll take a walk while you do that," I said. "There's an overpass I want to check out."

"Is Bigfoot by the overpass?" Tif asked.

"It's possible. Cryptids love overpasses. The Virginia Bunnyman does nothing all day but hang around overpasses."

"Take your map," Michelle said.

Leaving the yurt, I walked west. (I know which way west is.) I found the Shrike Trail, which looked about right. Checking the map as I went, I walked up and over the hill, and in about twenty minutes, I found the overpass. I walked down and headed under.

As I went under, there was a very strong, distinct smell. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. The closest I can come to describing it is the beach, when there's a lot of dead stuff washed up in the sun. I was intrigued; Bigfoot has been described as having a smell. Though I'd never heard it described as a bucket of dead clams.

I walked under the overpass and a little further up, then turned around and came back. As I passed through on the return trip, the scent was gone.

I noticed it again a short way back up the Shrike Trail. I stopped and glanced around---The smell was right where a line of damaged grass led into the thick woods, as if a large animal had pushed its way in and stomped all the grass flat on the way. I looked for prints, but didn't find any---Too much grass. It could have been an especially unhygienic deer, but I took some photos anyway. You never know.

"Daddy? I'm bored."
Paul had been running around with Rosie ever since dinner, and I was a little amazed that either of them was still standing in the heat. I said,"Well, what would you like to do?"
"I want to hang out in the yurt with my sisters, but they want to stay outside."

"Well, it's pretty hot in here," I admitted. "Tell you what....I know what we can do. You want to take a walk with me?"

He shook his head. "I don't feel like it."

"Then how about this?" I got out a solid briefcase, and opened it up. Inside was the rifle microphone, my night-vision binoculars, and two comlinks. I turned them both on and handed one to Paul.

"You press this button to talk. Hold it in. Now, I'm gonna go on my walk, but we can stay in touch. Sound good?"

"Yeah!" He pressed the button, and his voice came from across the room, ten feet away. "I love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, buddy. I'll be back soon."

I left the yurt. This time, I went down and around the loop until I saw the small amphitheater---The trailhead was behind it. Paul's voice came across. "How's it going, Daddy?"

"So far, so good. I found the trailhead. It's behind a little amphitheater---That's a small stage out here in the woods."
"Cool, cool."

I walked down the Swamp Oak Trail. It wasn't long before I stumbled on the reason for the name. I hit the button. "Still with me, kid?"

"Ten-four, good buddy."

Clearly he'd gone out to sit with Tif and Biz, and was now being coached. "I just found a giant tree. It's a really, really big oak tree. I mean, it's huge."

"Cool!"

"Ask Sissy if she wants a crow feather."

"Sissy says yes."

I picked up a black feather and put it in the crypto kit. The trail moved through the swamp, and then rose up the hill. I followed it up.

I heard something, not too far off, making noise in the woods. I couldn't see it, but I could hear it clearly, rustling off the path.

"There's something else out here with me," I said. "I can hear some sort of animal."

"A Bigfoot?"

"Maybe."

"Sissy says don't get eaten."

The trail went up and turned, moving northeast across the hill. I walked it, casually, still hearing the sounds from the forest.

"Whatever it is, it's still with me."

"Roger!"

After a while, the trail turned northwest and went downhill. It was coming back to the footbridge. I hit the button.

"Inbound on the footbridge, kid. I'm not too far from home now; I'll be arriving in a few minutes."

"Okay. I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, buddy."

"You can run ahead, if you like," Tif said as we walked up the path.

"Nah, I got nowhere to be." We were walking back up toward the yurt. The sun had gone down. "Great trip."

"Yeah, it was a fun one," said Tif. "I can't believe I did seven thousand steps yesterday."
"You basically went hiking. You're doing really well, for you."

There was a sound---A thump, almost like a drum beat, from off in the woods. I glanced at Tif. "Did you hear that?"

"It sounds like a turkey," she said.

"Turkeys play the drums?"

"The male ones make noises like that. We had them at my grandmother's house when I was little."
We walked back to the yurt. Michelle was reading a book. Paul was eating some cheese curls, and Rosie was keeping a close eye on both him and Biz, who had the graham crackers. "Sit," said Paul. Rosie sat, and got a cheese curl.

Tif sat down. I sat at the kitchen table and got a glass of water. The heat had dropped, but I was still sweating some. I said,"Tomorrow I figure I'll make the rest of the eggs and hash for breakfast. Everyone eat all the groceries. I don't want to repack them in the morning."

From outside, there was the gobbling sound a turkey makes, in the distance. Tif said,"You hear that, Dad?"
I nodded. "It's wild turkeys, allright. That's from roughly the direction of the overpass I saw earlier."

"They're angry," Tif said. "Something's attacking them. A lone coyote?"
"Maybe Bigfoot," suggested Biz.

"Why the hell am I just sitting here?" I got up and opened the briefcase.

"The rifle microphone," Tif said.

I snapped the pieces together. "Let's see what I can hear out there."

Paul picked up the might-vision binoculars. "I'm going with you."

We left the yurt and stood in front of it, looking west. I put the headphones on and aimed the microphone, picking up sounds in the distance. Beside me, I saw Paul press the button that turned the green laser night vision on the binoculars.

"I don't see anything," he said. "Just trees."

"I can hear the turkeys, but nothing else. Can't tell what's hunting them."
"Maybe Bigfoot."

"Maybe," I said.

I felt his little hand slip into mine. "Wait until I tell my friends back home, Daddy," he said. "I'm having fun."
I held his hand.

"Me, too," I said.