I had my handout on the table, and my lesson on crop circles prepared. For almost six years now, I've been teaching teenagers how to investigate the paranormal. We meet once a month, the group Teen Paranormal, and I teach kids how to responsibly investigate. I'd like to think I'm making a difference.
I was sitting in the Sloan Room with my equipment when one of the kids showed up early. Olivia. She sat down at the table.
"Hey, kid," I said. "We're learning about crop circles and hoaxes tonight."
"Can I talk to you?" she asked.
"Sure," I said. "What's up?"
"I saw something," she said. "Some kind of light."
I sat back in my chair, nodding. "Recently?"
"Couple weeks. My mom says not to tell anyone, because they'll think I'm crazy."
"I don't think you're crazy. Tell me about it."
"We were driving home from Bellefonte. I saw something in the air, flying around. It changed color, from white to red to green, and it moved around different.....Not, like, a plane, they don't turn, you know?"
"I know what you mean, yeah."
"So my mom says to not tell anyone, because it's crazy."
"It's not crazy. You saw a light in the sky; that happens all the time. Trick is to figure out what it was."
"How?"
"Get online and check what's in the area. Look for airports, military bases, drone clubs. If you can get back to the place, check for any scientific anomalies. Since you don't know what you're dealing with, check everything---Radiation, electricity, black light." As I said it, I realized I hadn't done this with my own sighting. "See what results you come up with, and where that leads you. I can loan you some equipment, and help out a little."
Olivia smiled. "Thanks."
After work, I rode down to Jay and Water Streets. I stopped and got out at the spot where I'd seen the purple light in the sky, and got out my equipment.
I'd been acting like a witness, not an investigator. I'd realized that as I'd spoken to Olivia. I hadn't done any tests, I hadn't really looked deeply into it. I began by testing for radiation traces, because that's the most pressing issue if it's there.
I realized just how dependent I'd become on being part of a group. It had been a while since I'd had a big UFO sighting, and I hadn't understood just how dependent on the Piper Museum I'd become. Was a time, I'd have just gone in and asked about flights and drones, and gotten my answers. I'd resigned from Piper last year. LHPS wouldn't help with this. I was on my own.
No radiation. No EMFs. No biological samples I could see anyplace. I was going to have to check later on flights and atmospherics. I packed my equipment back into the pouch.
I got back on my bike and took one more look around. Then I started riding home.
What the hell had I seen?
I was in my home office when my cell phone rang. I hate cell phones, but I'd been expecting this call. I was looking over an e-mail from a woman in Montgomery County who'd found my articles somehow and was asking about a haunting in her place in Norristown. I answered the e-mail.
I fished the phone out of my pocket. I was sitting at my desk, Paul in my lap, my figurines of Bigfoot, an alien, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Mothman sitting on the shelf above.
"Hello."
"Hello, Lou? This is the field researcher with MUFON. I'd like to talk to you about the report you filed."
"Sure." I'd put in a report with the Mutual UFO Network, listing it in their database. Since I'd been having no luck with this one, I'd decided to report it and open the field.
"You did well writing out the report; I only have a couple of questions. Most of the time, people miss things, or don't explain themselves well. You did a good job."
"Oh, thanks." Paul started trying to get my attention. I held up one finger.
"When I look into this, I'm going to call airports and military bases, see what I can rule out. That doesn't mean that I automatically think that's what you saw, but----"
I'd delivered some variation on this speech a thousand times. "You should know that I'm a member of the Lock Haven Paranormal Seekers," I said. "I do know how this goes. I get it."
"Oh! Well, okay, then. Can you describe again what happened?"
"I saw a purple light, moving erratically through the sky. I was looking roughly northeast."
"Did it have any kind of shape, or just a light?"
"No, I couldn't see any shape. It was just a light; aside from the color and the directional change, I would have assumed it's a plane."
"You said you were in Lock Haven. Normally, we try to give the coordinates as best we can figure it out. Would you care to give me a more precise location?"
"Why not? You got my cell number; you already know where to reach me. I was at the corner of Water Street and Sarah's Alley, looking northeast. The light was over the mountains, could have been half a mile off."
"Okay. Thanks. That's about all I need for now. Can I contact you if I have any further questions?"
"Of course."
"Thank you."
I hung up and set my phone down. "What's up, little man?"
Paul pointed toward the hallway. "I think there's a Giwoggle in my bedroom."
"Yes sir. Can I help you?" I stood at the circulation desk, facing the man standing there holding the book.
"Yeah, I have a question." He set the book down on the counter. It was an older printing, yellow cover. "My wife and I have this book. It's a first printing, you can see right here.....It's old, you can tell that. Can you tell me how much it's worth?"
"I can't, sir. I'm not allowed." I've been a museum curator twice in my life. It's one of the things they drill into you during training: Never put a ptice on anything. It can land you in legal trouble. I get people who ask, but I'm not allowed or qualified to price an item.
"Why not?"
"I'm not qualified to say how much," I said. "There's a rule that I can't put a price on things. My advice is to find an appraiser."
"Well, I'd appreciate it if you could give me some idea."
"Not allowed, sir. There's a good book appraiser in Avis, and I'd ask her."
"Well, how much would you pay for it?"
"I really couldn't say."
"I don't know why not."
"I'm not a trained appraiser, sir. My opinion would be meaningless."
"Not to me."
They always push when I say no, but this guy was really trying to press it. Mel was watching with some amusement. "Sir, I'm sorry. I'm not an appraiser, which is what you need. I am not qualified or allowed to discuss money."
He thought it over.
"Can anyone else here give me a....?"
"No, sir, none of us are appraisers."
He took the book and left. Mel said,"Well, that was interesting."
"I get that a couple of times a year. He was worse than most."
"At least he wasn't that guy in the white robes. Where's he been?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen him in two, three weeks."
"Maybe he went back to basketmaking."
I laughed. "I don't have a better explanation."
Mel handed me a copy of UFOs Above PA. "Your ILL book came in. You have it until August nineteenth."
"That should be way more time than I need," I said. "Thanks."
I went back to my desk and re-opened the e-mail from the Montgomery County woman. I couldn't do too much of an investigation from a hundred miles away, but maybe I could find out a few things.
I checked the website for Montgomery County. It had some of the records online. I signed up for an account and went to work. It took me a couple of tries before I figured out how to best search, but I came up with the deeds on the house going back to 1984. I found all the owners names, and then went to check obits.
I found one for the woman who had owned it in 1984, and then checked Findagrave. Her grave was in Montgomery County, and I traced a couple of her relatives. Her daughter had had a baby who'd died in 1986, while the family had still owned the house. Bingo.
I wrote it all up and e-mailed it to the woman. Not perfect, but not bad from halfway across the state.
"Good morning, Daddy!" Paul walked into the bedroom. I sat up in my Chupacabra pajamas, checking the time. Eight-fifteen. He'd gone easy one me. "Happy birthday!"
"Thank you, little man."
"I maded you breakfast in bed!"
He handed me an open Jello packet and a bottle of Gatorade. I smiled. "Thanks, little guy. That was sweet of you."
"Are you going to work today?"
"I am, just a little later."
I was mowing the lawn while Paul splashed around in his pool. My mentor had sent us the pool, a decent twelve-footer, and Paul loved it. I was within sight, getting some mowing done, when I looked up and saw Joel standing on the sidewalk.
Joel was a city councilman and candidate for mayor. I turned off the mower and walked over to him. I'd been expecting him to drop by, and had left him a note on the door. Joel had no reason to think I might be mowing the lawn.
"Glad I caught you," he said. "Here's the key."
He handed me a thick key. I put it on my Bigfoot multi-tool keychain. "Thanks. I'll lock up the playground on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and whenever else you need."
"That's a big help." He'd led a fight to get a publicly-funded playground opened to the public again, instead of only the school district. I'd volunteered to help out.
"You know, there's an old law on the books that says the mayor can recruit his own private army," I commented. "I never thought it would be for a playground."
"I'm not the mayor yet," said Joel.
"Wait until November," I said.
When I got to work, there was a box of doughnuts on my desk with a note from Eleanor, one of our best volunteers. I smiled and carried them to the back room---We have a counter that we call the Bermuda Triangle, because anything put there disappears.
Mel and Zach saw me bringing in the doughnuts. "I was wondering if you were going to share them," Mel said.
"Oh god, of course I'm going to share them," I told her. "No way I'm capable of eating a dozen doughnuts singlehandedly."
Zach took a doughnut. "So how does it feel to be fifty, old man?"
"Well, right now I'm gonna gimp off to my desk and set a spell before I forget why I came here," I said. We both laughed. "No, actually, it's not bad. Nothing particularly feels any different."
Nancy, the children's librarian, came in. "Oh, doughnuts!" she said. "I'll just have a quarter of one. Anyone want to split it?"
I grabbed a strawberry doughnut. "I'm going to my desk. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."
I sat down at my desk.
Nothing feels any different....
My line rang. I picked it up. "Ross Library."
"Hey there," said Resurrection Casey on the other end. "Happy birthday!"
"Hey, Casey. Thanks. You get your bus fare this month?"
"Just came, thanks."
"Anytime. You calling from college?"
"Yeah, I'm between classes. I'm not dumb enough to think I can get you on your cell phone. How you doing?"
"Doing okay. I was just about to make a few calls. I'm following up on a UFO sighting in June."
"Oh, yeah? Who saw a UFO?"
"Well....Me."
"No kidding? At least you don't have to judge the witness reliability."
I laughed. "I guess not. I've been working on this and others half the summer."
"You know what? You've inspired me. It's been a little slow lately. I'm gonna look into some UFOs around here. Know any good ones?"
I brought up the MUFON map on my computer. "Got a black triangle in Walnutport."
"That sounds great. I'm on it. Happy birthday, boss."
"Thanks, Casey. I'm gonna make a few calls about the UFO."
"Have fun. See you!"
I was just getting off the phone when Tif rolled in with her wheelchair, Paul riding on the back. "Happy birthday, Daddy," she said. She handed me a patch. "Got this for you."
It was a nice patch, grey and white, showing the river and the words LOCK HAVEN. I smiled. "Thanks, hon. It's great. I need to figure out where I'm going to wear it."
"Happy birthday, Daddy!" Paul said. Paul loves birthdays. I hugged him.
"Did we come while you're too busy?" Tif asked.
I shook my head. "Nah, just following up on a UFO. Nothing from the airport, Nothing from the military bases. Not that I expected much, but still."
"What's next?"
"Not sure. I got a book through ILL, but it's not as good as I thought it might be. The author reported some interesting sightings, but he dramatized them. He also goes out of his way to discount most explanations, basically blowing off the government testing as a possibility. Hell, government testing probably accounts for half the sightings."
"Have a good birthday anyway. You're fifty!"
"I am well aware that I'm fifty. It's actually been a good day. I ordered myself a new Snallygaster shirt." I was currently wearing the blue one that showed Bigfoot being abducted by a UFO. "Gotta plan for next month. I have a lesson on UFOs coming up, and a couple of fundraisers."
Tif smiled. "That sounds fun."
"We can only hope."
I was at the grocery store after work, which is my usual stop. It's nice having the local grocery halfway between work and home. I was grabbing something to eat, plus stuff for dinner tomorrow.
My fiftieth birthday was almost over. A song began on the speaker system, and I found myself bouncing my head and shoulders to the rhythm.
In my defense, it was "Dancing Queen."
I danced to the music, pushing my cart down the aisle. Anybody could be that guy.....The store was empty, which meant nobody saw the fifty-year-old in the alien hat bopping to the music.
"Who's that girl....Watch that scene....Digging the dancing queen."
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