Gaywatch

Nobody becomes a paranormal investigator for the food. But sometimes it works out that way anyway. 

We usually meet at Millie's. She has the biggest house. So we were sitting around the table snacking---We had some coconut cake, chips, and sodas. I sat around the table with both teams---Millie, Tim, Ashlin, Devaughn, Pete, and Vince. It was the best meeting we'd had in a while.

"Here's your ticket for the Hiawatha cruise, Ashlin," I said, handing her an envelope. "Been hanging onto it since the last meeting."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll be seeing you guys there."

"Does it take all night?" Millie asked.

"Nah," I said. "Been on the cruises before. It's only a couple of hours."

"I think it's from seven until nine," said Vince.

"That sounds right," I said. "I'm gonna get an article out of it."

"West Branch Pride sold out of tickets again," said Tim. "This makes the fourth year in a row."

"There's an old legend of a ghost along the river," I said. "A Henry Shoemaker story...The Siren of the Susquehanna. A Native American girl who was killed by a jealous lumberman, so her ghost waits by the side of the river singing to lure people in. I'm gonna smuggle in some of my equipment to take some readings while we're onboard."

"I'll let security know," said Tim,"To avoid any problems."

I nodded. "Should be mostly just my all-in-one EMF detector. I don't see the need to wear my whole tac vest on a gay pride cruise."

Tim grinned. "Want some more coconut cake?"

"Do you guys know what ICE is?"

This from Paul, just before bed. Michelle glanced at me; we had that telepathy that comes when you've been married for twenty-two years. Her look said This one's all yours.

I nodded. I got this.

She left the room. I sat down on Paul's bed.

"Yeah, I know ICE. We're talking about the government agency, right?"
"Yeah. Some of my friends are scared."

"I don't blame them, really. It's pretty scary lately. They're rounding up people who came from other countries, and sending them back. Or, in some cases, people who were even born here."

"I have a friend who doesn't speak much English," said Paul. "And he says he just wants to hide in the bathroom."

"I can see where he'd be worried. It's a very scary time. Now, so you know, you're an American citizen, so you don't have to worry. Okay?"

"I'm African-American. Does that mean I'm half African and half American?"

"No, your ancestors were from Africa, but you're also full American."

"Will my friends get taken away by ICE?"

"I hope not. And if I can help, I will." I tugged his blanket up over him. "Things are gonna be okay, little man. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Check it out, kiddo," I said, pointing as we pulled into the parking lot. "That's the boat."

"Cool!" said Paul

The Hiawatha, a huge paddleboat, sat at the bank of the Susquehanna River, festooned with Pride flags and rainbow decorations. Tim was waiting when we walked up the ramp and into the lower level, and he gave me a hug.

"Millie's already on board," he said. "Tif, I have a spot for you on the front. You guys can sit anywhere you want."

"Let's go up top!" said Paul.

We walked up and got a table. Paul asked me,"Can we go get a cupcake and a soda?"

"Sure, kiddo," I said. "Come on."

We walked down to the lower level, and I bought the kid a soda. The cupcake was free, and probably was not going to be Paul's only one of the night. When we walked back up, I bumped into an old friend.

"Lou! Hi!"
"Hi, Claire!" I said with some surprise. It had been a few years since I'd seen her. "How have you been?"

"Great! These are my friends, Kendall and Jonah."

I shook a couple of hands. She said,"I love the ghost shirt. Doing any investigating?"

"Oh sure." I had my rainbow ghost shirt on. I got out my all-in-one. "Brought my EMF detector today."

"I wondered what that was," commented Jonah. "I thought it was some sort of walkie talkie."

"Looks like that, actually. But it measures electricity and magnetism."

"And that's a sign of a ghost?"

"It can be. I like this model because if you press this button, it measures temperature, too. So that means I don't have to carry around several pieces of equipment. It's easier."

"That's cool."

"I'm looking into a legend of a ghost along the river tonight. She was a murdered girl from an old legend, and is said to sing to lure in people....The Susquehanna Siren."

Jonah smiled. "I think we just found our trivia team name! Unless you were going to use it."
"Nah, my wife would just give me that look. You go right ahead." I got out my EMF detector and turned it on, and almost instantly got a little flicker. "Oh, now, that's interesting."

"Are you getting something already?" Claire asked.

"I am, a little bit. I need to look into this some more."

The boat gave a very gentle lurch, and we were off.

Ashlin sat at our table, across from my wife. I looked over at her and grinned. "Who would have thought, a million years ago when you were waiting on me at the grocery store, one day we'd be on a Pride cruise together?"

She grinned back at me. "I did not see this coming."

I got up and gave her a hug. "You know you've become one of my best friends."

"You, too."

Tim came over, and I joined him at the railing overlooking the back of the boat. We watched the paddlewheel go around.

"Neat, isn't it?" he said. "Too bad it's fake."

"I didn't actually know that until you said it," I said.

"Yeah, it's actually powered by an engine."

"I'm thinking of ditching the tactical vest for a while," I said.

Tim understood immediately. I knew he would.

"ICE," he said.

I nodded.

"Yeah. I got a rinabow ally patch on there, but still....I don't want to be scaring anyone, or having problems."
"Yeah, you notice I quit wearing mine."

"I'm thinking of a temporary redesign. I've done it before, for similar reasons. I'll be working on that for a while. Maybe something a little more Robin Hood."
Tim smiled.

"Robin Hood is good."

Paul came over. I said,"Having a good time, buddy?"
'Yeah!"

"You see those little islands in the river? Those are log booms. Back in the 1800s, guys used to stand on them with long poles and sort out the logs for the lumber companies."

"Cool."

"You want to help me look for the Susquehanna Seal? It's supposed to be in this river someplace."

"Sure."

"I got a binoculars."

"Oooh! Gimmie."

I handed him the little cheap folding binoculars. "Here, you unfold them like this. No, you're looking through the wrong end. Like that." I was actually glad that I had the string to wear them around your neck, or I might end up with binoculars on the bottom of the Susquehanna.

"It makes everything look close up!"

"Have fun, little man."

Paul leaned over the railing, raised his hands, and called out,"I'm flying, Jack! I mean, Dad!"
"Actually, it's okay with me if you don't use my real name when you do that."

"Oh, come on."

I stepped forward, and Paul stood behind me, and I shouted out,"King of the world!"

You have to do that.

With Tim circulating the boat and Paul on guard against water cryptids, I walked around a bit with the EMF detector. I got a few flickers where I shouldn't have, always a good sign.

Tif was still downstairs where I'd left her, wearing her bright rainbow dress. "You doing okay, honey?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she said. "Paul came by and gave me a rainbow party hat."

I went inside to the bar and got a beer for about $3.50---Normally I never drink while investigating, but I figure you can probably get away with in on a Pride cruise. I returned to the front of the boat.

I leaned over the front rail and looked out at the river. A guy with a beard came over to me. "Enjoying the view?"

"Checking for water monsters."

He went someplace else.

I got out the EMF detector, sipped my beer, and took some readings. It shot up to .12 at one point, which was good. Could be the Susquehanna Siren.

It was not bad, being here with some of my best friends and my family. It was another one of those wonderful times, one of those times you'll never forget.

Paul came to join me as we pulled back into the dock. He had an armload of the table decorations he'd begged off of people---Noisemakers, party hats, and tapestries.

"You have a good time, little man?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Paul.

We stood together as the boat docked back alongside the Susquehanna River.

As we disembarked, I passed Claire and her friends again. She grinned over at me.

"Find anything?" she asked.

"A few flickers I need to look into," I said, smiling. "It's been a good night."

Decades Ago

"Emily, would you mind printing me off one of the signs for my books? I'm going to need it down in Lancaster this weekend."

Emily smiled. "Sure, Lou. No problem. That's right, this weekend is another Lancaster trip."

"Yeah, some of the team and I are in for a Cryptid Weekend event at a club down there. It's called Decades, and it's made from an old armory. So we're investigating the first night, staying over in a hotel, and then I'm trying to sell some of my books at the event the next day."

"Sounds like fun."

"I hope. I been all excited; I'm looking forward to it mostly."

She glanced at me. "Mostly?"

"This coming weekend kind of bothers me a little. Sunday is one year since I died in the emergency room. I mean, it's also the anniversary of the Roswell crash, but I'm a little less concerned with that."

"Oh, wow. Yeah. I can see how that would bother you."

"I don't really expect anything is going to happen. But it's still on my mind, you know? Just a little apprehensive about the day."

"I'm glad you made it," said Emily. "Glad you're still with us."

"Yeah," I said. "Me too."

I was a little surprised to see Devaughn already waiting in the parking lot when we pulled in. I got out of the car and said,"Hey! Were you on guard duty or something?"

He grinned. "I saw you guys getting here through the window. Here's your key."

"Thanks. Everyone else here?"

"Yep. We just got in a little while ago. We have four rooms booked."

"Excellent."

Tim came through the front doors of the hotel. "Millie's looking good," he said. "She's walking without her cane today."

"Good news," I said. "I'm sure she's all excited."

"She's loving this. She said she's starved."

"Me, too, to be honest. Let me get our stuff up to the room, and then we'll head out for food."

"I got us some Golden Corral gift cards. That should work."

"Love Golden Corral. Be right with you."

The room was much nicer than I'd expected. I had two large bags---My camouflage travel bag and my gym bag with the paranormal stuff in it. I set them beside the bed I expected to be using. I tend to travel pretty efficiently, with all of my stuff staying packed unless I'm using it so I can just grab it and go. Michelle and Paul, by contrast, would have their crap all over the room within five minutes.

Michelle came in behind me and looked around. "Hey. This is nice."

"It really is. I'm pleased with it. They say there's a free breakfast."

"Probably just toast and stuff."

"Still. If there's coffee, I'm good. You ready to go to dinner?"

The Golden Corral is what would happen if someone piled all of the food in the world together and let everyone go nuts on it. I'm always interested to see what Paul's going to go for---He's a picky eater, but he loves buffets and things. He likes to make his own selections; in this case, four slices of pizza and then dessert.

I walked through the salad bar, then got some pork steaks and seafood salad, and joined Millie and my family at the table. I said to Millie,"You remember the bat incident? That time I got chased out of a stairwell by a bat during an investigation?"

She grinned. "The old VFW, around, what, 2010, wasn't it?"

"That sounds about right."

Michelle asked,"Are you guys going to investigate after dinner?"

"Yeah, we'll come back to grab our stuff and then head out," I said. "Paul, you can come along, or you can stay with your mom. Either way. I should be back around ten."

"I want to stay with Mom," said Paul.

"Okay."

"We can go see a movie," Michelle offered.

"Find out if we can see Lilo and Stitch."

I changed from my Bigfoot Research Team shirt to my LHPS uniform. I got my tactical vest out of my bag and pulled it on. The fingerless gloves with skulls on the back. I strapped on my LHPS belt and clicked it shut. Checked and made sure everything was secured in my pockets.

The others met me down in the lobby, and we walked out the door. We walked across the parking lot to the vehicle.

There was an outdoor elevator at Decades, and we all stepped on it. Me, Tim, Millie, Vince, Devaughn, and Petey. We rose up to the garage door as it opened, almost in slow motion, and we stepped through it into the building.

The ghost hunters had arrived.

Go time.

"We have an art show down here in the basement," said Tony, the owner of Decades. "But nobody should be in this section. You're welcome to do anything you need to down here. I'm excited."

At the end of the hall was a set of big rooms that appeared to be storage. Vince set down the case and started digging for equipment. I got out an EMF detector. Tony asked,"Does anyone need anything? Drinks? Water?"

"I could go for some water," I said. "I'm on a blood pressure patch that leaves me dehydrated."
Tony nodded. "Be right back."

"Okay, guys," I said,"I think we're best sticking to video and measurement readings on this one, and not bothering with any audio. With everything going on upstairs, there's no point. So let's do cameras, EMFs, laser thermometers, and see what we can come up with."

Vince began setting things up, and Tim started going around taking readings. Millie sat down and began looking through the FLIR. I took my EMF detector and wandered into the next room, and immediately saw that there was going to be some trouble.

The entire wall was covered with electrical junction boxes---All the power in the place ran right through here. My EMF detector spiked right away, and stayed high. I walked all the way across the room, and the readings continued.

Tim walked in. He asked,"What do you think?"
"I can see some of this already," I said. "This whole wall is electric. The EMFs are off the charts. Been a while since I've seen this. We have a fear cage going here."

"Oh?"

I nodded. "Some people are sensitive to EMFs. High ones can make a non-haunted place feel haunted, and a haunted place feel worse. Sloan Hall back in Lock Haven is like that. I did an apartment building a few years back that also had the same effect."

"I'm getting some odd temperature readings in the hall," Tim commented. "Millie has some stuff on video---There's a blob of light moving around in there, and she's getting it on tape. She says she has a new friend."

I grinned. "Well, that's cool. I'm going to go and see how far this field goes."

I walked back around to the other room. Tony had left some water bottles for us, and I took one and got a drink. It helped. I was now to the point I could tell when my blood pressure medication was working because I was dehydrated or tired.

 I walked through the far room, and found Devaughn taking some readings. I said,"We're getting high EMFs, even over here. Right through the wall. This would explain a lot."

He nodded. "Yeah, they're pretty high."

We walked out into the hall. A woman was there looking at the art exhibit, and she said,"Oh my god, you guys are ghost hunters! Is this place haunted?"

"Looking that way," commented Tim.

"This is awesome! I'm really into this! Can I take your picture?"

So we posed a moment for a photo at the end of the hall. 

I walked through the hallway quietly, checking with my EMF detector and the laser thermometer. I stopped to look at some of the art, too, which was pretty good. 

A year ago, I'd gotten up in the morning and been quickly rushed to the hospital. I'd actually died for thirty seconds when my heart stopped and I'd needed CPR. I didn't remember a whole lot; I'd basically returned to life in a Williamsport hospital room with a nurse standing over me. 

The anniversary was on my mind. Nobody else seemed to remember exactly what day it had been. Emily got a pass; she hadn't known me then. I didn't particularly expect everyone else to be dwelling on it or anything, but I myself was thinking about it a lot as the one-year anniversary came.

Vince had put a homemade Theremin on a bench down the hall, because apparently he'd had a few minutes available to make them. I could hear it go off thirty feet away. Tim and Tony came out into the hallway, and Tim said,"It's not supposed to be doing that."

"Not while I'm about thirty feet off, it's not," I said. I waved my fingers near the antenna, and it went off when they got too close. "See, I gotta be like an inch away."

"Something is making it go off," said Tim.

"Getting photos." I took my camera out of a pocket and rotated through the hall, snapping photos. "Tony, would it be okay if I did a walk-through upstairs, and just get a few readings? I can take off the vest if you think it would make people nervous."

He grinned. "Yeah, I think it might. But you're welcome to check around upstairs."

I dropped the vest on the table by my pack, and walked upstairs with the EMF detector. The upper floor was packed with people, eating and playing the arcade games. It was also packed with EMFs; I got readings just about everywhere I stood.

The bouncer approached me. "You're one of the ghost hunters, right? How's it going?"

"Place is probably haunted," I said. "But there are also electromagnetic fields making it seem a bit crazier than it really is."

"That's really cool," he said. "You do a lot of this?"

"All the time, but mostly back in Lock Haven. Sometimes I get out of the county, though, and do some traveling. Been spending a lot of time in Lancaster lately."

"I like those gloves," he said. "I need to get a pair like that."

I was wearing the vinyl gloves with skulls on the back. "Amazon," I said. "About eleven bucks. I wear these on most investigations."

"Cool!"

I walked around a bit more, and then headed back downstairs. Tim caught me in the hallway and said,"What do you think about packing up and getting ready for tomorrow?"

"Been here a couple of hours. It's probably about time."

"Find anything up there?"

"Place is still bleeding EMFs. The bouncer likes my fashion sense. How's it going down here?"

"Plenty on the spirit box. Millie got her video. It's been pretty busy. Tony is happy."

"Good. Good."

I don't care if I wake up on fire, my first priority is going to be coffee. I got up in the hotel before Michelle and Paul, and went looking for coffee in the lobby. I got a cup and brought it back upstairs, where I found Tim in the hallway doing essentially the same thing.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"We're getting everyone up and ready," he said. "We'll get checked out and head for Decades for the event. Great night last night."

I nodded. I leaned against the wall and drank some of my coffee. "We got some good results. I'm pleased."

"Millie loved it. She's having a great time. I'm glad we could get her out for this."

"Me, too. Millie and I go way back. She was essentially the first person I recruited for the team back in 2007."

"You ready for today?"
I took a drink of my coffee and grinned at him.

"Getting there."

A giant cardboard sign of Bigfoot stood across from me in the lobby. I sat at the table with my vest spread out in front of me, much of my equipment on display, and stacks of my books for sale. I'd been fielding questions and explaining things for a couple of hours. It was a good event.

Tim and the SPI team were across the lobby, with Millie beside them. I caught her eye and gave her a thumbs-up, and she smiled and returned it.

Paul sat down beside me. "Are there any more tokens?" he asked.

I pulled a small black sack out of my pack and handed it to him. "Plenty more, buddy. You enjoying the games?"

He nodded. "I played the basketball one for a while, and a Jurassic Park one. I also played one where I shoot aliens."
"Cool. Just in case we get invaded again."

He looked at me. "It was this time last year when you went to the hospital."

I glances dat him with some surprise. "Yeah. Tomorrow, in fact. How did you know that?"

"You weren't there the first week of my summer camp. I wasn't happy when I woke up and you weren't home. You know that big dent in my top bunk? That's where I kicked it when you didn't come home.""

"It was pretty traumatic for all of us, buddy. But everything seems to be allright now." I gave him a hug. "In fact, everything is just fine."