All Well And Good

I was in a haunted house, which was not unusual. I had a cup of coffee, which is also not unusual. Oh, and the haunted house was mine and I live there.

I pushed open the door to Paul's room and walked in. "Time to get up, guys," I said. "We've got a holiday trip to make."

Paul was on the bed, and his little friend Rylan was on the air mattress on the floor. Paul already seemed to be somewhat awake, which was actually a bit unusual.

"Okay," said Paul.

"You guys want breakfast?" I asked. "We won't be stopping until Grandpa's house."

"Um. Cereal," said Paul. "The pink one."

"I'll take the green," said Rylan.

"I'll get them ready," I said. "You guys get up and get yourselves going. Dress for adventure."

"Okay, when we get down to the light, turn right instead of going straight across to the bridge," I said. "That will take us to the cemetery."
"I know where we're going," said Michelle.

We got to the bottom of the hill, and the bridge was blocked off anyway. I said,"Well, I guess we have to turn right regardless."

"I seem to recall this last year, too," Michelle said.

Paul shook his head. "How long does it take them to fix this bridge?"

"When I was eighteen, they did some repairs on the Morgan Bridge uptown, and it took a whole summer," I said. 

"It's already been way longer than that."

We drove up Main and turned at the fireman statue....All of these streets and buildings I'd grown up with. Just outside of Slatington, along 873, I said,"Up here. On the left. There's a church, and then the cemetery."

Michelle pulled in, and I got my camera out. I said,"Here we are. The people who  built Grandpa's farm in 1836 are buried here. You guys can stay in the car or come along with me; either way."

"I'm coming," said Paul. "Let me get my sneakers on."

"I'm coming, too," said his little friend Rylan.

We climbed out of the vehicle. I said,"We're looking for Newhart or Newhard. It's been since before you were born, Paul, but I was here years ago researching the family. I remember them being back this way, toward the back."

We walked across the cemetery together. The graves were about where I remembered them, way back to the far end of the cemetery. Newhart. The family who'd built the farm I'd grown up on.

I spotted two of the graves---Eva, the mother, and her baby. They'd both died in 1922, very close together. I said,"Paul, see this?"

"Yeah."

"When you see a lot of close dates like that, especially young people, it tells me something  You have your phone? Look up '1922 epidemic.' Wait, I'm going to guess it's Spanish flu."

Paul got out his phone. "Nineteen twenty two.....Epidemic?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Yep."

A moment later, he said,"That's right. Spanish flu."

"That explains a lot. If the farm is haunted, these two are possibilities. A mother and child who died of Spanish flu together. Come on, let's get back to the car. Next stop, Grandpa's."

The farm was the way I"d remembered it. It always was. We got out, and my brother was at work, standing by the barn.

I hugged him. "Hi, Jon."

"Glad you made it safe. Hey, Paul, you're looking good!" This was Jon's way of mentioning that he'd noticed Paul's new glasses without actually drawing attention to the glasses.

Paul grinned. "Thanks."

"We've got a present for you. It's down in the house. I want you to learn how to play it."

"So," I said,"It's either a game or a musical instrument. Amy around?"

"She's in the new barn."

I walked over to the new barn, where my sister-in-law Amy was manning the counter, selling jams and giving away hot chocolate. I was wearing my sweatshirt with a ghost drinking coffee. It had warmed up a bit, so I was able to get away with my black puffy vest. I'd basically dropped the vest look, but I still loved this one.

I hugged Amy. "Got a present for you."

I handed her a paperback book with an orange cover. "Ghost Stories of the Lehigh Valley," by Adams.

"Oooh, thank you," she said. "I like reading this stuff."

"My brother told me you were asking about local hauntings, and I thought this one would help. It's used----I was actually going to buy one on Amazon, and then I realized I had an extra in my office. I'm pretty picky about my ghost books, but this guy is good. I met him once; I had a booth next to him at the Albatwtich Festival a couple of years ago."

"Thank you," she said. "I never got much sense that this place was haunted, but...."

"Dad used to tell me stories," I said. "Once he told me one about a shadow figure in the meadow. And when he moved in, he said there was a sound on the stairs like a ball bouncing down."

"Now that you mention it, I do remember him telling that one."

"I was never sure just how much of this was real, and how much to entertain me as a kid."

Amy grinned. 

I said,"I'm sort of keeping an eye on reports lately. In times of national crisis, there tends to be an upswing in activity. Not sure if that's actual, or just people being under stress and misinterpreting stuff. But there's no denying we're under national stress right now."

"No, there's not."

"So with President Asshole tearing down the East Wing, and the 250th anniversary of America coming up, I'm watching to see if there's an increase in paranormal activity. Particularly along historic lines. By the way, that reminds me---We stopped at the cemetery where the people who founded this farm are buried."

"Where's that?"

"Behind the church up along 873. I did the research almost twenty years ago."
She nodded. "Okay, I know that one."

"It looks like you have two people on the farm who died of Spanish flu. So that could be a possibility."

"People have died in the house?"

"Hell, my mother died in the house."

"Oh, that's right."

"So there may be an increase in the next few months. Let me know."

Miles, the family beagle, watched as I walked around the kitchen with my EMF detector, taking a few readings. I wasn't getting anything much yet. Paul loved Miles; the two had been born very close together, and had grown up together. My brother had gotten Miles as a puppy when Paul was only a couple of months old.

"Is that your ghost detector?" Dad asked me.

"More or less. It's an all-in-one EMF detector---It detects electromagnetic fields, but also does temperature. It's nice when I don't want to be carrying around a lot of different pieces of equipment." I was willing to talk about ghost-hunting in general, but I wasn't about to start explaining EMFs to a retired electrical engineer.

The place had nothing, EMF-wise. Which I'd about have expected, offhand. Dad would have the house wired up very professionally, which meant my baseline would be zero. Which was, in its way, good news---Any flicker was likely to be something unexplainable.

Paul and Rylan were eating the pizzas Michelle had heated up for them, and Miles was lurking about in the hopes he might manage to get some, too. I walked outside.

At the jeep, I got in my pack and pulled out the travel outfit for ghost hunting. It was a small pouch on a shoulder strap, smaller than the one I'd use at home, but easy enough to carry in my backpack. I slung it over my shoulder; now I was ready to go.

I looked around the farm, not as it is currently, but trying to view it as it would have been in 1836. This was harder than usual; while I could easily see this stuff in Clinton County, this wasn't some historic site---This was just the place I'd grown up. It took some effort to get myself into the right mindset.

The barn was odd. I'd never noticed it before, but the barn was a much older architecture than I'd realized. I was used to barns being double-level and having some sort of ramp access to the second floor, which would have been typical of the late 1800s. This one didn't have that, which put it much older---Previous to a lot of the large farm equipment that would have existed later.

The house was definitely pre-1840 design. I'd never noticed that as a kid, but now it jumped out at me. The house, the springhouse, the old servant's quarters---My room had once been the old servant house. It was now connected and part of the main house, but it hadn't always been. I wondered who the servants might have been. I could maybe find that out if I could get my hands on the census records.

No EMFs near the house or the barn. I walked down across the yard, looking around. This was the place I'd grown up, the place I'd basically begun. My origin story. Generations of people had lived here, and I was one of them. One of these days, I was going to visit for the last time, and I'd never even know it. One of these days, one of us was going to be the last sibling alive. Odds are it wasn't going to be me.

I knew there was an old well down in the forest near the old pond. I'd discovered in in the woods when I was a kid; it was likely older than the house. I walked down that way.

The pond, in which I'd tried to catch water monsters when I was young, was largely overgrown these days. I could see the old well through the trees. I walked around a bit, waving the EMF detector.

There. A flicker---It rose a couple of points and then went back down.

"That's more like it."

No power lines nearby. No reason there should have been a reading here. I walked around, circling the well, getting spikes here and there. Settlers in those days would likely have dug the well before they'd even constructed the house---You need water before you need shelter, and crops and cattle weren't going to wait around until you'd constructed your living room. So as I investigated, this would be a hot spot.

Of course---The story Dad had told me about the ghost in the meadow. The stream began up here and ran down that way. This was all connected with that one small waterway; if I followed this stream down, I'd end up in the same meadow. I'd investigated that a few years ago, and got a photo we couldn't entirely explain.

I walked back to the barn, where Amy was making a wreath. She asked me,"Find any ghosts?"

"Well, maybe," I said. "You never do know."

"So, what did you learn in the cemetery today?" I asked. I was sitting in the Jeep, two Christmas trees tied to the roof, doing my annual panicking for the entire trip home.

"Nothing," declared Paul. He was playing his present, which had turned out to be a keyboard. He was actually making some progress at sounding good with it.

"Nothing? No?"

"Oh, wait....Yeah. When you see the same year a lot, check for epidemics and stuff."

"Especially in younger people. You got it."

"Are we stopping for dinner? I'm getting hungry."

"We'll stop as soon as we see a good place," said Michelle.

About half a mile down the road, Paul made the kind of discovery that he likes to make.

"Look! There! A Taco Bell!"

Water Under The Bridge

"Next on the tour," I said, stopping at the corner of Grove and Water Streets,"Is the Susquehanna River. You can't see it because of the dike right now, but you all know it's there. This is the home to a water cryptid known as the Susquehanna Seal. The Susquehanna Seal was reported in newspaper articles back in the 1800s, a large, snaky creature living in the river."
At the front of the crowd was a kid, who was getting more and more excited as I spoke. He held a hand up, and I said,"You have a question?"

"He just wants to tell you something," said the kid's father. "Go on."

"This creature was known to brush up against lumber rafts, dumping the lumbermen into the water. People reported hearing it howling at night. It's theorized that it might have been a leftover Hynerpeton, a prehistoric creature whose fossil was discovered here in 1993."

As we walked down Water Street to the next stop, a haunted hotel, the kid told me,"I saw that! We were fishing near the bridge down there, over there....."

"The Jay Street Bridge," added the father.

"And I saw this thing in the water! My cousin and me saw it! It was long and black, and had like a hump on the back."

"They both really freaked out," said the father. "Something there scared them very badly."

"About what time of year was this?"

"About seven o'clock," the kid said. "It was a Saturday....."

"What time of year?" his father prompted.

"Oh. About fall, I guess. Back around a year ago."

"Well," I said. "Things have been a little slow lately. I'm going to have to look into this. You've just given me my next investigation."

"Dad, can I open your package?" Paul likes opening packages that come in the mail. He doesn't much care what's in them. I was cooking dinner, so I kind of waved my hand and let him do it.

He slid a small box out of the package. "What's this?"

"That's my new Swiss army knife," I said. He was turning it over in his hands.

"It's too big," he declared. "Look at this!"
"It's got more stuff on it than the old one. Got a compass, a wrench. The pliers has two settings."

The thin was bright red, about an inch thick. It had a curvy, smooth, aerodynamic handle and weighed about a pound. It had at least fifty different tools on it. I could repair anything with it. I could fix La Llorona's marriage. I could repair the Silver Bridge.

"Too much stuff for me to memorize," he said, and handed it to me. "I don't like it."

"I'm gonna give it some time, see what I think," I said. "I'll carry this one around a while and see how it works for me."

I was n the middle of folding brochures when Tom called back,"Lou? Kelli wants to see you when you have a minute."

"Coming up now," I said.

I stood up and walked across the print shop to the front office. The office manager, Kelli, was sitting at her desk with a map up on the screen.

"Did you know Bigfoot's been sighted neat Penn State?" she asked.

I love my current co-workers.

I grinned. "I saw that this morning! I was drinking my coffee and I saw a news article about it. Thinking I might look into it."

"Want me to print you out a copy of the map? It shows exactly where he was seen."

"Sure. That helps. It always pays to go take a look at the site, if possible."

"Coming through. In color." She printed it out on one of the big copiers, and I picked it up and folded it in half.

"Thanks, Kelli. I'll let you know what I find."

After work, I biked over to the Jay Street Bridge. It was a clear, cool day. I biked midway across the bridge---Over the Lock Haven city limit into Woodward Township. I got off and looked at the area.

Always visit the site. It's what I try to teach people. You never know what you might discover, so always visit the site of the paranormal experience if you can. This was where the kid had spotted the Susquehanna Seal.

I got out a pair of compact binoculars and looked out over the river. Nothing yet. There wasn't much point in getting out the litmus paper and doing a test on the water; I'd tested the Susquehanna dozens of times before. I knew it could support life. 

My cell phone rang. I dug it out my my pack.

"Hey, little man. What's up? Yeah, I'm on my way home. Yeah, I can pick up a sub for you. Meatball? Okay. Home in about ten minutes, kid."

I stood in my son's bedroom, disassembling his giant bunk bed so I could put together the new bed. When you're a parent, you wind up doing things like that.

"You remember the Bigfoot sighting along I-80?" I asked Paul, who was sitting at his desk in the chair.

He nodded. "I remember you told me there was one, yeah."

Just a kid and his dad, discussing cryptids. Parenting moments.

"Been looking into that. I've checked the maps and made a few calls. It might help if you could come up with some excuse to get your mom to drive us to State College; we could stop and check the site along the way."

"I'm on it," said Paul. "I would have anyway. I'm thinking Crumbl Cookie."

"Right now, my working theory is that it's a hoax. Probably a prank from some idiot Penn State fratboy; they're known for stupid shit like that. I checked, and it happened the night before Homecoming. And, yes, the State College Spirit Halloween did have Bigfoot costumes."

"Hey! You went to Spirit Halloween without m---"

"I didn't go there, I just called. It is not so easy to explain that you don't actually want a costume, you just wanted to know if they previously had them. But they did, which is where the costume could have come from. A visit to the site will explain more."

Paul nodded, looking over my work. I took out my new knife and started unscrewing a bolt. He said,"I still don't like the new knife. Too much stuff for me to memorize."

"You'll get used to it."

"Will we have the new bed built in time for bedtime?"

"Probably. This is coming along okay. But I'll let you sleep on the couch until I do get it done, if not."

"Okay. Bet."

"Dad, you want to do something? I'm bored."

Paul had woken up with a stomachache and a sore arm from the day before, so I'd decided to give him a mental health day from school. The illness had lasted until about eleven-thirty, at which point he'd decided it was safe to be up and around.

"You got something in mind?" I asked.

He shook his head. "If you can think of something we can do....."

"How about we take a walk down to the river? I was thinking of taking a walk. The river is low because there's a drought right now, and I wanted to take a look."

"Can we ride our bikes?"

"I don't see why not."

A few minutes later, we were riding our bikes down near the water. We stopped and got off, looking at the river from the top of the dike. I climbed up on a guardrail and looked.

"You know we're right on the city limit?" I asked.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You know what city limits are?"

"That's where you leave Lock Haven and you're in Castanea."

"Pretty much, except here it's Woodward Township. That's right there, across the river. We can see it from here."

"So if we go over there---" Paul gestured out across the river. "---We're in Woodward?"

"Yep. Did I tell you I got a Susquehanna Seal sighting?"

"I thought it was Bigfoot."

"Him too. But also the Susquehanna Seal. I've been checking, but nothing has turned up."

"Is the Susquehanna Seal hibernating?"

"Could be. You know hibernation?"

"We learned about hibernation in school. Isn't that where animals sort of sleep, but for the whole winter?"

"Yeah, that's basically it. Bears do it. A lot of fish and reptiles do it, too. So it's reasonable to assume the Susquehanna Seal might, as well."

"Are we going to see the Susquehanna Seal in the spring?"

"I mean, we can hope. You want to go home and watch that horror movie on Plex you've been wanting to see?"
Paul lit up. "Yeah!"

"So I'll have to check out the Susquehanna Seal later. It's like it always is with the Susquehanna Seal....The case has gone cold."

I was watching the mile markers as we rode along the highway toward Centre County. I saw the sign on the county line, and I said,"The Bigfoot sighting is up ahead, about six miles."

"Oh yeah?" Paul said, looking up from the back of the car. He said,"It's on the way to the movie?"

"Well, it's on the way to State College."

"I really wanted to see the movie in State College. I'm gonna eat about $3.50 worth of popcorn. It's why I asked Mom." I was going to have to up the kid's allowance.

"Bigfoot?" his little friend Noah asked. "Really?"
"Yeah, there was a sighting right up ahead."

"Is Bigfoot real? If I saw Bigfoot, I'd have to kick him and run away."
There was a lot to unpack there. I said,"Well, nobody knows if Bigfoot's real or not. Or any cryptid. It's why I investigate. Panda bears, gorillas, and platypuses were all thought to be imaginary, until somebody found one for sure. So nobody knows for sure if Bigfoot's real."

"Really? Pandas?"

"Yeah, they were thought to be made-up. Now, there really aren't a lot of credible reports of Bigfoot actually attacking people. They mostly seem to run away. They're probably pretty shy."

"Have you ever seen a UFO?" Noah asked.

"A couple."

"Really? Were they cool?"

"Pretty cool. Mostly just lights in the sky...."

"Remember that one we saw in Maryland?" Paul asked.

"I remember."

I watched the side of the road as we approach mile marker 169. Always visit the site, even if it's driving by. Along I-80, there's no place to stop. 

I could see across the edge of the highway and the nearby field, where Jacksonville Road swerved surprisingly close to Eighty.

I looked at the layout; always visit the site if you can. Bigfoot had been spotted within an easy walking distance, moving away from the overpass. Farm Lane ran down and underneath I-80. I looked down that way.

It was basically clear, much clearer than most of what bordered on the interstate. The trees were clear for a bit, and I could see where someone could easily jump the guardrail and run down the bank to get to a waiting car.

Paul asked,"See Bigfoot?"

"Pretty sure I see the answer behind that sighting," I said. "Looks like it was a college student, probably on a dare or something. Put on a discount Halloween costume, got spotted along the highway, then ran down the bank to a getaway car."

"At least you solved one," said Paul.

I nodded. "I'll take it as a win. I'm happy to figure these things out, even if it turns out to be a hoax. I got the Bigfoot sighting, and the Susquehanna Seal isn't going anywhere."

I sat in the theater, watching the second "Wicked" installment. Paul sat next to me with his popcorn, and a bottle of soda. He leaned over and whispered,"Can I use your knife, Daddy?"

I handed him the new knife. He opened the bottle opener and used it to pry open his soda bottle before handing it back to me.

"Maybe the new knife isn't so bad," he said.